August 04, 2010

The Causes of My Self-imposed Media Blockout

Ok so time to weigh in a bit on chicks in the media this week. I am going to get into muzzle manufacturing and make a fortune.

First up Jacinta, yes you are lucky you find motherhood a cinch. Come over and we can go though your bullet points, as I am obviously missing something. Jacinta wrote an article in last Sunday's paper regarding the fact that we should all quit our whinging about raising babies and getting spewed on is funny. Oh the can of worms you have opened you precious thing! If you are already bored of hearing about it, then DO NOT CLICK HERE. PS cute baby.


And Alannah Hill. You are just a plain stoooopid. Saying you wished to be sexually harassed by that creepy creepy Mark McInnes, former CEO of DJ's makes you look like a total ho-bag. Even you must admit Alannah, you came off a bit desperate. I suggest you lay off the champers before facing the media. She is back-peddling today with the announcement of a Sorry Sale.

taken moments before her gaffe with designer Alex Perry.......girl you is about to get in soooo much trouble!

Hill said her business partner was "so furious" about her comments that she would hold a "sorry sale" on Saturday, and donate half the proceeds "to some sort of a women's shelter or sexual abuse (charity)".

Asked what she would do with the other half of the funds, she said: "I might pass them on to the nice girl with the hyphen in her name. I've forgotten her name."

HMMMMMMMMMMMMM maybe not so genuine?? SHUT UP ALANNAH UNTIL YOU LEARN TO NOT BE AN IDIOT.

Bristol Palin, 19, calls off her engagement for the second time to Levi Johnston. Why am I even reading about this when I can just look at magazine covers.






Kristina Keneally and Verity Firth, it is called a phone. Use it.
Now I am not in the habit of sledging women, it is just sometimes these things need to be said.

And as for you, you are still perfect.

Posted by Mrs Woog at 11:34 AM

20 comments:

  1. Thank heavens for Oprah! In a sea of stupidity, she is an oasis of calm! Wait, I think I'm getting my metaphors mixed up. Oh well, you catch my drift!
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  3. I only had to hear a summary of that article about Jacinta from a friend to know that I didn't want to read any more. Eurgh. Thanks for the visual, Mrs Woog! (not)
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  4. That last 'you are perfect'... you were looking at me when you said that....weren't you?
    Hilarious and well said, all of it.
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  5. The only thing missing from your succinct wrap-up, Woogsy, is Gisele "women should breastfeed or go to jail" Bundchen. Ms "labor didn't hurt in the slightest" Bundchen has made my blood boil this week. Tynan's pointless article kicked her off my posts, but Gisele "it's called 'labor' not 'holiday' for a reason" Bundchen is on my list right next to her.

    Oh, and I'm a bit so-so about Oprah these days. Sorry about that.
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  6. You warned me and I clicked anyway cos I'm stupid. GRRRRR!
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  7. Yeah, it's been a great week for the sisterhood hasn't it? Maybe it's all a secret plot from Tony Abbott to keep women from listening to his stupid comments about the fairer gender?
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  8. I remember when I has a small baby that slept well and I thought 'what are all these other mums banging on about?'. That blissful feeling of superiority lasted all of 6 months. So Jacinta, when your time comes, you've got a whole army of mums waiting to say 'told you so'.

    I also wondered where Gisele was in your list.
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  9. You forgot about Giselle saying breastfeeding should be law for the first 6 months of a baby's life.


    And I want me a dress like Oprah's wearing - I could just pull it in and let it out through that buckle depending on the time of the month or how much chocolate I'd eaten that day.
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  10. and what about Julia being real instead of stage managed?

    It certainly has been an ordinary week for the girls - but I think Alannah wins !
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  11. Oh Alannah, your clothes are divine (even if none of your tops fit me). Why do you have to be such a dickhead?
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  12. Don't get me started on Jacinta... For me it all started with her little book "Good Man Hunting". Would love to hear your thoughts on some of Jacinta's pearls of wisdom from the dating world Mrs Woog! Certainly she offers nothing when it comes to motherhood (and without spoiling the book, nothing when it comes to finding a suitable mate either).
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  13. Yes I read that Jacinta Tynan article and gee what an annoying woman. Luckily she got What For in the comments. I think generally people should not be judgemental, and stop crapping on about motherhood and what it means to them. It is a completely subjective, individual experience.

    You forgot about Tony 'No means No' Abbott.

    And also the best line from Allanah Hill was that one part of her was saying 'don't talk don't say anything' and she kept talking uncontrollably and then she kept thinking oh god I am just like my mother I cant stop talking. A lot going on there.
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  14. I love the motherhood gig. There are those amazing moments, however, where you want to run away and be anything but a mommy. Ms. Tynan has a new baby. She'll get there, just like the rest of us. Wait for it, people, waaaaaaaaaait for it...
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  15. Yes at least we can always rely on Oprah..all is good in the world again.
    Gosh it's been a busy week out there hasn't it?? Too many people for me to choose from for my friday Scrapheap!!
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  16. I agree with Maxabella - Giselle Bunchen (she of the perfect pregnancy and zen labour) needs to sod off.

    Ughhh..I love breastfeeding but Giselle is just getting so smug about the whole thing. "I lost my baby weight so fast! I breastfeed you all should too or go to jail! Labour was a breeze!!" I think Giselle and Jacinta would have a great time over coffee swapping stories on just how damn perfect they are.

    Ughhh
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  17. Bleerugh, blergh, balrk!

    That's all I have to say in response to these media articles.

    For the record, my labour didn't hurt either. I think it was all the drugs I had before hand. LOTS OF DRUGS@

    Oh, and the surgery before I went into labour. That'll do it!

    :D
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  18. Seriously that twit Allanah Hill takes the cake. I heard her on the radio the day after apologising and saying how she was thinking don't say anything.... but then she did... she's so look at me look at me but such a dickhead....
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  19. All twits except Oprah of course.
    Ms Hill needs a minder STAT.
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  20. I love posts like this! Can I add more generic one to your list...'Why do we care so much about celebrity's lives? i.e. the break-up of Michael Clarke and Lara Bingle; the cost of Suri Cruise's wardrobe; where Brangelina's next adpoted baby is coming from' Argh! (disclaimer - I am one of these pathetic people!)
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