Beautiful

This one has beenrattling around for months. It is not about shits and giggles. Just shits.This week I read a post from a 35 year old American Blogger who writes under the name Nerdy Apple Bottom. She begins her post:

My son is gay. Or he’s not. I don’t care. He is still my son. And he is 5. And I am his mother. And if you have a problem with anything mentioned above, I don’t want to know you.

And it was the thing that tipped me over the edge this week. A week where this article came out. Princess Boy Sparks Gender Furore. A week where my son danced in his first ever ballet recital and was never happier. A week where he dressed up as a Fairy Princess for Halloween and was never happier. A week when he cried and I cried as I took off his purple glitter nail polish for kindergarten orientation, because he wanted to show his new teacher.

And this bring me back to the shits.

I am just shitty at myself. Shitty that I make him take off his bangles when we leave the house. Shitty that I remove his headband when we go shopping. Shitty that I get shitty with people stare at him as he goes dancing down the street. Shitty that I care what other people think.

I am not going to be shitty anymore.

Most people who know Jack, accept the fact that he likes wearing girls clothes, likes dancing and singing and loves all things pink. But even some members of our family, although accept it, do question it. And I have had enough of that too. So the next time someone asks, “Do you think he’s gay?” there is a fair chance I might go berserk. Jack thinks he is an amazing dancer and a very good at drawing. He has not worked out what his sexuality is, being FOUR AND ALL, but it is of major, MAJOR concern to a lot of people for some reason…..

So now of behalf of my son Jack, I release him from the confines I have placed on him in the past and now he is free to be. Just be. And what that is is beautiful.

 
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  • Good for you, and great for Jack. You know nearly every little boy that comes here to play ends up dressed in a fairy outfit at some stage, I am convinced that when all those frills are considered ok to wear, they all love it.

    Embrace the bangles, in years to come you just may want to borrow stuff from him or get him to assist with an outfit, remember the wealthiest designers and stylists, dancers and performers, cooks and actors are all male.

  • What a cool mum you are! And yes, kids should be whatever they want to be. As long as they are happy, who cares! It could be a phase, it might be long term… it doesn’t matter really.
    If people are gay, then so be it.
    It annoys me when people comment and say things like “oh I bet they are gay’ etc I don’t hear them saying “oh I bet they are Hetro, Asian, Emo, Greek, Martian, Christian, Anglo… whatever”. Society needs to be more accepting of others ‘differences’.
    As long as you love and support him, then he will grow up to a confident, well adjusted young man 🙂

  • Jack is Jack. A beautiful little boy who is not afraid to express himself. So what if he likes dresses and tutu’s and all things pink. SO WHAT! He’s 4 years old andlearning about the world around him and his place in it. If it’s a phase or a lifelong choice then so be it. He’ll always be Jack. Your son. And he will be a stronger person for all this. He’ll have learnt that the people who love you the most accept you without judgement. You go Jack. Wear your nail polish to school with pride. As the mother of a ballet dancer ( a girl) I wish more boys loved dance. If I had boys they’d be offered the same opportunities and encouraged just as much as my daughter. A boy she danced with from 5 yrs of age, now 20, is now wearing nailpolish and dancing as a professional. He hits the stage soon with Katie Perry as she embarks on her latest world tour. One day that could be Jack. Or he could dance the lead with the Australian ballet. Or he could be dancing in his living room and in clubs for fun…. Whichever he chooses, he’s 4 years old and HAVING FUN. NOTHING ELSE MATTERS! so to the people who question and judge…. STFU!!
    My two cents worth… Got a little carried away sorry. But I despise ppl who think they know best. 🙂

  • Beautiful boy, beautiful Mum, beautiful blog. Societal change and acceptance starts at home.

  • I must say, Jack certainly does rock the fairy wings.

  • ^What they said^ xo

    How can someone even call a child gay? Gay refers to a sexual preference and I’m pretty sure 5 yo’s don’t have one yet.

    When I dressed like a boy nobody called me a lesbian. It should work both ways. Stupid fucks.

    Monster likes to dance around, sing, and wear his sister’s tiaras and jewellery. My god does he love dancing.

  • What a beautiful child and a beautiful mother. I read the post you linked to earlier today and have struggled with my sadness all afternoon. What kind of person doesn’t want a kid to dress up in whatever makes them happy? And sadly it’s not just for boys, look at the headlines about Shiloh Jolie Pitt who prefers to wear the pants.

    I’ve always tried to get my child to be proud of herself, but have realised that there will always be the people who scoff, stare or openly hate. They’re to be pitied and if we raise our voices loud enough in opposition to them, hopefully they’ll feel stifled enough to stay silent.

    Bravo on your post, and bravo to gorgeous Jack.

  • I read that post earlier, Mrs Woog, and was heartbroken realising that it’s so often the MOTHERS who perpetuate the fear surrounding gender-appropriate play and expression. Absolutely abhorrent behaviour. People constantly go on about wanting society to change. But the old saying is true: it begins in the home.

    We should all be able to do as we please, as long as it’s not hurting anyone. Last time I checked, a 4yo boy in fairy wings hadn’t done anyone any harm, least of all himself.

    I stand and applaud you. Your son is adorable.

  • Agree! My Jack loves wearing my lipstick, nail polish and declared for the majority of yesterday that he wants be a girl. There were talks of cutting off his doodle. I have hidden the scissors.

    Who cares what they are gay, straight or everything in between.

  • Good for you! It’s so normal for children to explore and only societies stereotyping that makes it hard for some adults to accept. My little girl was never into princesses or pink, but favored Thomas the Tank Engine, cars, Star Wars, building with Lego instead of playing families. She is now 7 and very balanced in her male and female personality. She gets on with all and I think it is in part because she was free to explore and discover herself in preschool years.
    I do reckon it’s harder for boys though. These days there is the attitude ‘girls can do anything’, but there needs to be a huge shift in societies thinking to make the same apply for boys. All the best x

  • Good for you! Jack looks gorgeous by the way. I was really moved listening to Portia de Rossi (yes, that was a bit surprising) talking about the unintentional cruelty of her mother who had often said to her I accept you, I wish it was different, but I accept you but no one else will and insisting that her love life be private while her brothers’ love life was a point of great interest.

    I think the most hurtful things we can do to each other (and to children) is the tiny little things that we don’t even notice and so we do them over and over again.

  • Ps have you seen how many comments that other post now has…1470 or so.

  • Seriously? I hope they are all nice. I feel absolutely exhausted. ox

  • good for you!! great attitude! and he;s adorable!

  • Jack is one of my favorite kids ever. He is just a creative spirit, who happens to like costumes.
    BTW in that pic, you can really see your side of the family in him. He is adorable and if anyone fucking messes with him, I will egg their car.

  • What a wonderful mother you are! We all like to think that we would be strong and courageous enough to support our children no matter what but unfortunately some people don’t and they and their children are the ones that miss out.

    So Jack like fairy wings, dancing & bangles, the only ones who have a problem with it should look at their own issues….

  • That beautiful boy will grow into a beautiful,secure man, whatever his sexuality, because he is so well loved.

    Nothing can beat that feeling of total security in your parents love.

  • Awesome.

    You are.

    You both are.

    xx

  • Hard is having a child who doesn’t fit into a perfect box. Hard is wanting them to be accepted, wanting them to have friends, while even more, wanting them to remain true to themselves.

    It’s hard.

    And he is gorgeous. Look at those eyes!

  • He is happy! That is all that matters! Hugs to you my friend.xxx

    And ohmygod, my word verification is gumpeniz?! WTF?

  • Brilliant and beautiful. What a great post. My own son was a lot like that at 4- at 11 he is totally into bugs and footy and waering blue and is interested in girls. Jack may change too, but if he doesn’t- who cares? Bet you’ll love him just the same. x

  • adorable! sounds like my finny, srrounded by 3 sisters – 2 of which are pink princess and barbie loving. He has taken a little pink ralph lauren bag to the mall, does dress ups and knows all the disney princesses. I think its cute and don’t have a problem with it! he also loves cars, planes, trucks, dirt and wrestling his twin sister!!!!!!

  • Cheering loudly, Woogsy.

    Oh, Jack. Embrace the sparkles and the frills and the fairies and the flamenco ‘cos, you know what, they’re so much bloody fun!! Don’t listen to those silly adults who have such opinions about everything. What’s this sexuality business anyway and who said liking glitter had anything to do with it? What’s gemder? Who said boys can’t wear pink and fairy wings? Whose dumb idea was that? And are they questioning girls who like trucks? No, I think not.

    What you are, sweet Jack, is creative, imaginative, sparkly and free. What that? Oh, yes, you’re right – that just makes you a beautiful, talented child like any other. Lucky, lucky little you. x

  • My little girl recently had a fairy princess party and her best friend (a boy) came dressed in a fairy princess dress and wearing the fairy gum boots his mum insisted she buy him. He looked fantastic!

    His parents were really nervous about what people would think, but no one batted an eyelid.

    Believe me, everyone was happier to have him there looking so happy than the little boy in the pirate suit that kept biting everyone.

    Jack looks gorgeous!

  • Sorry, I meant to say ‘gum boots he insisted his mum buy him’.

  • Bless you, Mrs Woog. And Jack. Who is gorgeous, just as he is.

    And yes, he is rocking those fairy wings!!

  • I love this post, Mrs Woog. Love it.

    I was talking to a friend about this yesterday. She has a little boy who is my daughter’s age – 2. Like my little girl, my friend’s little boy wants to dress up, play with dolls and have tea parties. Her husband freaks out at those things. It’s like seeing boys at primary school who are freaked out by the colour pink. These are games and colours – and they are issues being projected onto children by adults. Adults who have a fear of what? Their child being gay?

    Yet no one says a word when my daughter plays with trucks or wears blue. Personally I’d be more concerned with raising my child as a good person with strong values.

    Well done on letting go and letting your gorgeous boy just enjoy life. xx

  • Just beautiful ! Jack is awesome.
    My son also 4 loves pink, fairies, singing & dancing too. I totally agree.

  • I totally agree with what everyone has written. Jack is happy, and that’s all that matters!
    Shame on the parents who think a child should dress and act a certain way. How boring!

    P.S I was giggling at Brenda’s comments about the word verification!
    Mine is lundefto 😀

  • Well said Mrs Woog! Your son is absolutely gorgeous and so are you! Excellent post xx

    http:bigwordsblog.blogspot.com

  • OMG so glad you wrote this post!! My mr 2 1/2 does the same thing! He wears petiskirts/ bangles/ high heels and even nail polish! I have never told him to take of his bangles/ skirts to leave the house, but I have gotten stares and heard narrow minded people slip their comments whilst out, anything goes in my house as long as he’s happy then I am too! I say good for you who gives a shit what anyone else thinks!
    PS. He’s very handsome too!

  • PS – I just have to come back and add this comment… if the little fella was truly gay, would he pair light green with pink? I think not… x

  • Amen! LOVE it. And he will LOVE you. Many a boy would wish for a Mama just like you x

  • So Felix spent the entire year of 2004 wishing he was a girl. He steadfastly refused to go shopping with me for any boys clothes.

    There was the whole Pumpkin Patch incident when he wouldn’t even step foot in the boys section, instead giving me an item by item summation of the clothes in the girls section. “But mum, feel this skirt!”, “Mum, look at this colour, is that what they call ‘shell pink’?” and on it went.

    I remember the big real tears rolling down his cheeks when I quietly told him that he was born a boy so would therefore always be a boy.

    I’m not sure what happened but it just quietly drifted away.

    Now there is all-singing, all-dancing, jazz-hands Jasper whose favourite colour is pink, who has a penchant for shorty-shorts, is incredibly neat and likes order and asked for (and received) the Barbie Puppy Pool for his 5th birthday.

    Is he gay? Is Felix gay? Who the fuck knows and who the fuck cares?!

    Here’s what I hope.

    I hope none of my children struggle with their sexuality as my BIL did, not telling his sister he was gay until his mid-30s and not telling his parents until he was 38 when his partner forced him to do so. Prior to being in that long term relationship he had told his sister that he would never tell his parents.

    Who the hell knows. As you so plainly say, HE’S FOUR.

  • You got it, who cares indeed? My own son has been spotted buying a pink fairy wand and wanted a pink drink bottle. Jack is as adorable as his mother.

  • Oh what a beautiful post! And may he be whoever he wants to be for ever and ever xxx

  • I am mother to 5 young boys. They are all unique, so different in EVERY way. Boys should not be stereotyped as they are by the media- but they are.
    Women suffer the same dreadful pressures from streotyping.
    We all know that none of this comes to any good- for boys or for girls- but it is very very hard to overcome. People find it hard to accept differences.
    I wrote a post about it a while back (http://gourmetgirl-friend.blogspot.com/2010/05/being-picked-last.html )
    Good on you for recognising your own battle with it.
    It is really really hard when people judge you and your magnificent child on such baseless crap!
    Go forward knowing that all that matters is that your wonderful child feels loved for being himself. It is the BEST & most important lesson you will EVER teach your children- to love WHO you are not WHAT you are.
    Well done you!

  • Well said!! What a lovely little boy.

    There’s no need to put a label on anyone, let alone a 4 year old.

  • You are a wonderful mother, and Jack is an awesome little boy. I think it’s such trash that there are so many stereotypes on what little boys and little girls should play with.
    His costume is really cute!

  • Oz

    Jack is a very lucky little boy Mrs W. I know for sure that if my parents had been so enlightened when I was four years old my transitions into awkward teenager and then adulthood would have been smoother without feeling like I’d let the side down. Sure, there’s a whole generational gap going on, and being what you wanted to be back then was not as mainstream (for want of a better word) as it is now, but your attitude gives me hope that all the little fairies and princesses out there now will grow up into a world that is that much more tolerant.

    Bravo Mrs W, and bravo Jack for looking so fierce in your pink ensemble.

  • Mel

    That photo is just adorable!

    I have a 4yo whose favorite colour has always been pink. He loves playing dress ups, cooking, gardening, doing craft and kicking the soccer ball around the yard with Mum and Dad. He also tells me he’s going to marry ray-ray, the little girl at his daycare centre. Or maybe this week it’s Jemma? My point is, all of it is about him expressing his innocence, not his sexual preference. I wouldn’t tell him he can’t like pink or play dress ups any more than I would tell him that he shouldn’t date two girls at once. They are grown up rules made by those who have long lost their innocence and replaced it with a prejudice. I’m not in any hurry for him to grow up. Besides, I love playing hairdressers with him. It’s so nice to have someone who will never get tired of playing with your hair. 🙂

  • Ok. Crying a little here.

    Loved this!

    My son also loves to wear dresses. And I let him.

    Whenever he gets new earmolds made, he requests pink. I feel like a jerk for not letting him… it is mostly because his Dad would have a fit.

    I’ve wondered if he’s gay. I sort of can’t wait to find out. The suspense is killing me. I’ve always wanted a gay best friend…

  • We have a Jack, but his name is Henry (also 4). Henry just had a look at your picture of Jack and said “I like Princess dresses more than fairy dresses”. I think you and I could certainly share some stories. I have been asked several times if I think Henry may be gay while people have snickered away at his princess’ dresses, love of make-overs, fairy books and all things pink. You have posted my thoughts and feeling exactly and I too intend to be a little more conscious of freeing his inner spirit and embracing the gorgeousness of it all. Well done Mrs Woog and thank you. If only we weren’t so far away I would be setting up a very fun playdate for out little guys,

  • Liz

    Thanks Mrs Woog, now you’ve got me angry at myself. Angry for caring what other parents thought when my son spent the first half of the rugby season spinning, skipping, holding hands with the coach and grinding his groin into other boy’s bums (ok that last bit is never really OK behaviour). And angry that I was proud of him for tackling other kids, even though it’s no tackles. Because all the other dads were saying ‘great tackles mate’ and he was fitting in.

    It’s so easy to say ‘I’ll let my kids be whatever they want’ but if they want to be different to the other kids, it’s not so easy. So bravo Mrs Woog. I’ll be taking a lesson from you and if my son wants to belt out a showtune at the after rugby dinner, I’ll be right there with the microphone.

  • Yes Mrs Woog, that is truly beautiful. I reckon you should print this post off and put it away for a later day. It’s a winner.

  • He looks awesome in his pink wings.

    Go you for letting him be himself. 🙂

    As I’ve been banging on about this week.

    Sometimes people are different
    and that is okay.

    Honest to god I’d prefer to see a boy like your Jack than my nephew who chucked a fit at the thought of wearing my daughters pink goggles for his 30 minute swimming lesson because OMG they are pink :: roll eyes ::

  • yeah yeah fuck yeah woogsie! People need to get a grip.
    your son is beautiful. let him shine.

  • Love it. As you say, he’s four. He’s happy with who he is. Who that is is yet to reveal itself in all its glory, but he’s lucky to have Mrs Woog along to support the ride.

  • Jen

    Jack is beautiful, and you are lovely. xx

  • Anonymous

    It is all very well and good, but are you not setting him up for some major hurdles later on?

  • Oh Anonymous how very brave of you!!!!

    Beautiful post Mrs Woog. I hope one day Jack gets to read this entry and realise what a lucky boy he is to have such accepting loving parents.

    I am not sure how you top this post now but I am sure you will make me proud.

    Your ever present Stalker Lady

  • StMurphy

    Anonymous, the only hurdles later on will be from people like you who ask that question! I believe you are missing the whole point. If we all were just a little more accepting, a little less judgemental, a little more open to diversity than children and teens wouldn’t feel such pressure to conform. Check out http://www.itgetsbetterproject.com for all the reasons why mums like Mrs Woog are heros.

  • Oh Mrs Woog, you are a legend, not to mention a terrific mum. Huge applause from this corner.

  • Thank you for all these lovely comments and stories. It is just great. And anon, thanks for yours as well. Just be so glad he is my son, and not yours.

    Much Love
    Mrs Woog xox

  • who gives a shit what others think this little one is adorable ,real cutie pie i must say . You get a standing novation from me . my son years ao always loved watching me put make up on or seeing me wear heels lol… right now he is doing V.C.E hes not sure what he wants to do i said do what ever feels right for “YOU” xxxxx

  • Isn’t it bloody typical that the negative commenter is anonymous?

    And isn’t their comment just indicative of their close-minded attitude.

    I mean – seriously – wouldn’t the issues later in life be if you did not accept your child for who he is and instill in him the knowledge that whoever he is he is loved no.matter.what. by you?

  • Mother Gay

    Mrs Woog, I am lobbying Mardi Gras to have you lead the 2011 Parade with PFLAG. It will be a beautiful, proud moment! Lets start planning outfits.

    LOVE YOU!!!

    Will drop you a note a little later, once I have you booked on Oprah, as there is a lot I’d love to share with you on this subject. Its very close to Mother Gay’s heart. As is Jack.

    xoxoxo
    Mother Gay

  • Anon, why would allowing free dress for a four year old lead to any major hurdles in life?

    How would I be protecting my children from all the hurdles they might come across by restricting imaginative play?

    I feel like saying a lot more.

  • There’s always going to be haters. People are stupid. Amen to you for giving them a big FU and letting your little boy get his big pink fairy on. It’s his happiness you care about, not theirs. Vive la difference!!

    Much love and support from me x

  • Anonymous

    That other post you linked to was also fantastic. She sounds tough! I read all that stuff about Princess Boy earlier in the week and was wondering what you thought.

    Noone asks me whether I think my son might be heterosexual or whether I’m concerned because he goes round pretending to be a super hero of some sort – because he’s 4 he’s not thinking about his sexuality he’s thinking about food and jumping on a trampoline and why I won’t give him more chocolate or icecream !

    Elizabeth

  • Kel

    I am sending HUGE applause your way, Mrs Woog. Jack is very lucky to have an amazing Mum like you. He totally looks awesome in his outfit.
    And I hope he continues to rock out his clothing – Go Jack!!

  • Huzzah! for you, Mrs Woog…be shitty no more! xo

    btw: my word verification was ‘drooketi’. Wasn’t that the name of a character in Star Wars?

  • Firstly why cant peeps own their opinions? Anon = Coward in most cases.
    Secondly I haven’t experienced this with my kids but my Husband and I have always said if our kids were gay we would only be sad if they struggled with it. Its a harder road to travel being gay in a predominantly straight world especially growing up.
    You have a fantastic attitude about Jack … long may he love pink glitter and purple nail polish if it gives him a happy heart.

  • i am a little slow in reading this and although while your words made me feel very sad, I got to the smiling face of your little Jack and it just made me smile the biggest smile I have smiled all week…

    Good on you for “releasing your son from his confines” and anyone who has a problem with this can get fucked…

    First time I have EVER swore on a blog comment but that’s all I can say on this subject…

    Gill xo

  • Oh Mrs Woog, that truly is beautiful and has just given me such a lift of spirits this morning. He is utterly gorgeous, and yes, letting him be free to express himself is just wonderful. xxx

  • Cat

    Mrs Woog….you are fabulous and have of course, a fabulous progeny. It irks me no end that a child of his age is already “boxed” in to a corner. We should all be able to be as happy in following our own loves…dance, bangles, sparkly nailpolish…football, mud pies, trucks…who cares. Your little man is a beautiful spirit and I want to smack those people who have any issue with the confidence in his own self that he does.

    The Bebito went to choose a pink freakin’ cup at a family gathering the other day (always the colour he is drawn to) and the old uncles talked him out of it. It made me SO mad. It’s a cup ffs! I snatched the green one he’d been given from his hands and gave him the pink one back and glared at the stupid uncles though I wish I’d had the guts to tell em to fuck off. 🙂

  • What a beautiful post. How lucky Jack is to have you as a mum. There is no greater gift we can give our children than accepting them just as they are.

    Coincidentally, I just read the original post you quoted about an hour ago and retweeted it because I thought it was phenomenal.

    Let us hope anon has given birth to little Barbies and Kens. Your sons, on the other hand, have chosen brilliantly.

  • If I hadn’t fallen madly in love with you before Mrs Woog, then i have now! And I’m guessing I’m also in love with Mr Woog too, right? I reckon that as Jack grows he’ll quickly work out that his parents seriously rock. And that he rocks too. I have a son who chooses to walk a different path in life than other 7 year olds, and I carry around a big hypothetical stick to beat down all those judgemental, self opinionated school mums who “need to have an urgent word with me” about his behaviour. White fury. Pure white fury.
    Keep doing whatever the wonderful thing it is that you’re doing. That smile is gold.

  • Well said Mrs Woog. I often fail to understand how fucking judgemental people can be, and it makes me sad too. Especially when judgement is being passed on four year olds. Jack is a beautiful boy, and an especially beautiful dancer. And he’s so lucky to have a wonderful mum who will stand up for him and allow him to be whoever he wants to be.

  • Kim

    Fantastic. The world needs more people like you (and Jack).

  • Mrs W, words can not express how much I love this post!

    Jack is a darling, being the only person he knows how to be – How could anyone not want to let him shine?
    x

  • as a parent i dont gender-fy toys or movies for my girls. as a sister i have 2 brothers, one liked my dolls and HAD to have a girl cabbage patch doll too, the other liked purple. he had to have purple everything. both are now grown up and are in the navy and air force. it may just be a phase, but if its not, embrace it. Your jack is HAPPY. As he grows older he may have problems with other kids and adults who dont agree with his choices. But they are HIS choices to make.

    A mother’s only wish is for her child to be happy, in whichever way that may be…

  • They are what they are Mrs Woogs. Embrace and enjoy him – your relationship will be the better for it. We all want our children to be happy and that starts with digging themselves, don’t you think? He’s a lucky boy to have a Mum like you 🙂

  • I am Mum to a 4 year old boy and your thoughts made me cry. Not that I was sad but because I understand the underlying compassion of your shittyness.
    I think its fine to be shitty because that feeling encourages other feelings like compassion and tolerance and promotes change in the world.
    Little boys love thier mothers and everything thier mothers do, mothers are their entire world…nail polish and all…
    Good for you Jack, what an example for others (big and small) to express themselves without fear.

  • What a wonderful post! Jack is lucky to have you as his mother and long may he express himself with glitter and sparkles. He sounds like the kind of person I would choose to be friends with! xx

  • Wow. This post is beautiful and brave. I love it and have tears in my eyes.
    I worry about my son, who is yet to be born, not because I worry he will want to wear girls clothes or play with dolls but because I worry how his father would react if that were the case. I know I would allow him to be himself but I am not so sure about others.

  • Noah is 4 as well and he loves pink. In fact sometimes when given the choice between pink and blue items, he more often chooses pink.

    He has worn red nail polish..on his toes. I once gave him a spray tan cause he felt left out.

    I have pictures of him wearing a fairy suit at pre-school.

    He loved Dora the Explorer way more than Diego and he has a purple Dora back pack and Dora dolls.

    I know all too well that in a few years, once he is entrenched in primary school, he will probably either grow out of this or feel intimidated into only choosing boy toys. So for the time being I am enjoying watching him play with whatever the hell he wants to.

    He has no concept of sexuality at this young age and why should I impose ridiculous feelings of shame on him, just for being him?

  • An important post. One that all mothers need to read. One that all fathers need to read. One that all people who look in judgement at a child need to read.

  • I dont have anything origional to add after the gazzilion comments already here, just wanted to say that, Mrs Woog, you are an awesome mother. You have a beautiful son. Great post. The end.

    Mrs BC
    xx

  • this is a very important post. It has made me think and made me angry too. We can’t even get fucking gay marriage across the line due to old fashioned stalwarts that are waiting to die, no matter how hard we scream.
    It made me think how shit the reactions would be of some (unfortunate) family if my son was like Jack (too early to tell) And now I am angry. I want you and that nerdy apple cops wife chick to help bring awareness to the world, but that is improper for me to suggest because for very good reasons I can imagine you not wanting to put your family/Jack in that position. Good luck on your journey Mrs Woog. xxx

  • People used to say exactly the same thing to me about my son when he was 5. I was horrified they said it because he was into wearing my high heels, his favourite toy being the mini hoover, nicking his sister’s dolls, cooking up a storm in the kitchen. And yes, he is gay. He’s also awesome, talented, kind, funny, artistic, loving etc, etc. These are the things that define him, not what he wears…he did give up the high heels quite early though I’d have to say! You’re obviously chock a block with love for your little guy who also looks awesome 🙂

  • He’s perfectly adorable. And like you my little one loves to dress up. He’s 3 and I’m fiercely proud of him already x

  • This whole topic has just made me more pissed off this morning. Who the hell has the right to judge someone based upon their choice of clothing, housing, the car they drive, or their sexual orientation? Seriously, the narrow-minded gits of this world piss me off no end. If your child does not rape, murder, assault, embezzle or initiate any similar self-serving crime against another, then he will be a perfectly wonderful member of society. Go Jack! As I said over at the Cap’s Wife, a parents role is to advocate for her (his) children. Good on you.

  • I have a nephew who paraded down the stairs a few Christmases ago wearing nothing but his mother’s heels and a string of pearls. When the room erupted and his indignant face exploded with “DON’T LAUGH AT ME!” I felt his pain.

    Now my little Lion loves wearing my jewellery, carrying handbags and putting on makeup. He’s two and as far as I am concerned, he’s being a child. A beautiful child exporing the world and all the amazing things in it, especially the amazing things that he sees his mummy do every day.

    Let it be just that.

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  • Loz

    Jack is very lucky to have a Mum who will let him be himself and to give him the time to work out what that is.

  • Oww that is lovely. Little Jack could do a lot worse than having you as his Mum. Continue to be proud of him regardless of what choices and challenges he might (or might not!) face.
    A lovely post Mrs Woog xx

  • You are so cool, and Jack is gorgeous…

  • Beautiful indeed.

  • Lauren Roney

    your child is divine, he will be whatever he wants to be and he is so lucky to have such a wonderful mummy xxx

  • Sarah

    You made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside reading this. The world needs more mums like you, Mrs Woog x x x x

  • Jack is awesome and so are you Kayte, I only know him through you. But I love how you let him be himself and share his awesomeness through your blog and social media. Jack makes me smile. V x

  • Quirky75

    I remember reading this. I loved it then and love it now. My two youngest boys in particular loved pink, they’ve grown out of it now. There was one pair of sparkly pink shoes that they used to fight over, each wanting to wear them to day care. There was a straw hat with a pink band and flowers that got a work out too. I never thought about not letting them wear them. That’s what they liked so that’s what they wore. It was and still is a no brainer.
    I still have those pink shoes, I love them.

  • I’m so glad you wrote this, hopefully it helps other parents do the same for their kids.

  • Jane

    I’m reading this next to my gorgeous 3 & a half year old boy in his pink Princess Ratbag tutu 🙂 A beautiful piece of writing for a beautiful boy

  • Beautiful 🙂
    Dani @ Sand Has No Home

  • Tess

    This entry is what made start following you to begin with. Love it just as much now. I am now a t mum to a one year old girl and all I want for her is happiness, however which way that comes and whatever that means for her. Thanks for sharing. 🙂

  • joolzmac1

    Amen to B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L !

  • Anne Mulligan

    Peer pressure gives me the shits though.
    Just as an example, my daughter was a non pink lover and her favorite colour was purple, etc until she went to preschool and saw all the other girls with their pink bags, clothes, etc and she changed her mind and decided her favorite colour is pink.

  • Mhorag

    Lucky him let him be who he is and he will thank you when he’s older we shouldn’t put our own stereotypes or pressures onto our kids, let them be who they are

  • Good on you!
    Where has our obsession with labels gotten us really??

  • Glenne :)

    What a wonderful mum you are; none of us know what our children will become. There’s so much more to them than their sexuality anyway and honestly whether they are gay or not is the least of my worries. I want them to be compassionate and generous and successful & have integrity and…. mostly be happy, like every other mum I just want them to be happy. You’re doing all you can to allow your darling boy to achieve that, what a gift you are to him

  • Good for you. My daughter has down syndrome and she is 9 months old. Her 3 year old cousin told me yesterday that she looked like a pig and had a pig nose. I don’t want people to stare at her and call her names but I am certainly not going to hide her away. I am scared cause I don’t have a thick skin. the 3 year old almost made me cry yesterday. I love what you are doing for Jack cause you represent us too x

    • Jack was born deaf, and has worn hearing aids since he was a little baby. I would go to the shops and see people staring. The worst feeling ever. I once left a full shopping trolley at the checkout to get him home. Believe me, after a while you will learn to get on with it and you will not even notice the looks. Much love to you and your beautiful daughter. You are an awesome Mamma Bear xx

      • vanessay

        My granddaughter looks typical but has autism so is prone to meltdowns of epic proportions and was totally silent until she was nearly six. People would speak to her at the shops and she would not answer so we would have to explain and people say the weirdest things “Oh she doesn’t look disabled”etc. My Mother In Law told my granddaughter’s cousins to “stop pulling faces like that you look retarded” yesterday at a family gathering. You think you will get used to ignorance but that one hurt my heart. If she wasn’t 93 I would have smacked her one!

        • Yep that R word is not acceptable and I have started pulling people up on it.

      • Thank you!!! Xxx

    • jennifer

      Dear Raylene, people with Down Syndrome are beautiful and seem to have extra love to give. I’m sure you know how lucky you are to be blessed with your daughter. There was a man down the road from us who, with his wife, fathered 8 children. The youngest one had Down Syndrome and he always used to say that of his eight children, the one that gave him the most joy was Louise. I wish you and your daughter every happiness. X

      • Thank you Jennifer I certainly feel very blessed to have my Ariel. She pushes me out of my comfort zone and that is proving to be a good thing. xx

  • <3

  • Jen I

    At 9 yo my daughter insisted on a short spiky haircut and refused to wear any dresses or skirts in her wardrobe. We had to go shopping for shorts. Her favourite colour is blue, or sometimes green, but pink is out. She used to wear a lot of pink, but I think that’s because pretty much everything they make in 6 year old size is pink, or occasionally purple, which she has always hated. Since her haircut she has constantly been mistaken for a boy. People even argue with her when she says she’s a girl! She plays baseball and netball, she likes lego and barbies, and she says she can’t wait to get boobs so people will be able to tell she’s a girl who likes blue and has short hair. I’d never realised that until puberty, girls are not expected to have short hair. If they do, they must wear a ribbon on their head to identify themselves. I feel bad that I told her if only she’d wear some of those skirts in her wardrobe people would stop calling her a boy… but part of me just wants her to wear them because I spent money on those damn things when she liked skirts and now she’s making me go and buy shorts before she’s grown out of the skirts! Still, we both agree that she has it relatively easy. If a girl wants to have short hair, wear pants, and play with trucks, she can get away with it much more easily than a boy trying to go against the stereotypes the other way. Good on you Mrs Woog! And good on you Jack! My daughter and I want to support your choice to do what you want, wear what you want, be what you want.

  • I Love Jack. I love a kid who can act any way they like and not have a care in the world. I sometimes wish I had that as a kid and just did it. It wasn’t till i was 30 that I knew what I, ME, wanted to do without worrying about what everyone would say and I did it. Can’t feel any happier right now.

  • Wendy

    I too remember reading this the first time and it was while I was teaching – I shared it then and will share it again as it is so BEAUTIFUL!

  • Louise

    My son is 5 and constantly has his nails painted by his older sister. His uncle says “you’ll make him gay”. Seriously? My response is either “you say that as if it would be a “problem”, or “if it’s that easy I’ll just give him a football and a tonka truck and turn him back”. Jack is awesome. Sparkle on dude.

  • Good on you for writing that one…weird people judging little boys. My son loved nail polish at 4 and a lady at the beach said “His daddy better not see him in that” and I answered “His daddy puts it on him.” Lots of people are good. Societal “norms” suck though at times. x

  • Sarah Watts

    So glad you pressed publish as well!

  • Sarah

    I would love to know how old this is, and what Jack is up to now? Not to know what his sexuality is or what he is choosing to wear.. But to know if he is HAPPY!! To know if he still dances and has joy in his life, Because isn’t that the important thing?

    • This was 4 years ago. He is now 8, still dancing Ballet and Jazz and has just gotten into singing and tennis in a big way x

  • AlexT

    Great article Mrs Woog. People can get so tied up by their own narrow views of what’s “normal” – which is perpetuated by all the retailers only stocking typical “girl” and “boy” clothing and toys. And so the cycle continues! I think he looks like a lovely fella and you are doing a great job as his Mum.

  • GoddessMel

    I want Jack’s shoes. They are all kinds of sparkly awesome. And so is he <3

  • Amber

    I love this one. I think it’s my favourite of all time.
    I think it’s sad that as a society we haven’t moved forward at all, and this is still just as relevant for 4 year olds today as it was 7 years ago.

  • Sal

    Linked here from Facebook – What does the axing of “safe schools” have to do with any of this? How about schools stick to teaching the 3 Rs and leave this stuff to the parents. Why are you so insecure that you require everyone to think like you?