Today's Saturdays with Sawhole is a tale of betrayal and revenge. It is not pretty.
If you want to hear how mature adults handle a break up, click here.
If you want to hear how SawHole does break ups, read on.....
It is time that I, SawHole, faced the music.
Almost 20 years ago, I organised a group of people to harass a young man named Maggot. There I have said it. Feels better already.
Maggot? He was named that after an unfortunate cheating incident - him being the cheater, SawHole being the victim. He even had the nerve to dump me and not tell me about the young lady he was with the night before. Yes, weaselly behaviour but nothing compared to the onslaught he faced.
You see I was okay with the breakup until I saw him holding hands with the woman in question.
Once I realised I had been deceived, it was war. And boy did I have a cavalry.
The girls in my circle, and even some of the guys, went over the trenches for me.
The war cry was: "Maggot" every time he appeared on the university library lawn. Instead of fighting, Maggot would just slink by us defeated. Saddam's Imperial Guard must have felt the same way when the US troops crossed the Iraqi border.
Mrs Woog and I even got crafty and tied a balloon with a strange animal face around his letter box. The Divine Ms M made us go back and get that one before Maggot found it.
Then there were the Maggot drive-bys where we would drive past his house and yell Maggot and then drive off. We basically did it because we were bored. The malice had gone out of it a long time ago.
We were bored students with too much time on our hands and we are sorry Maggot.
About a year ago, we all decided we needed to apologise, so we thought a bus trip was in order, with Mrs Finlayson (who never participated in the activities) as the driver. The problem is that we have not been able to find him, and we can find anyone considering several of us are journalists. I am sure he is in hiding.
I am sorry Maggot.
I was a bully and a sneak (to quote the words of the children's classic Evil Weasel).
Have you had a bad break up?