The Show.

Each year I vow I will not go to the Royal Easter Show. The crowds, the noise, the denim underpants on display, the grease, the show bags, the heat! But every year I end up there. It is like the end of season Country Road Sale. I know I do not need to go,  but I am terrified of missing out on something.

I always make a bee-line for the dogs. I find the whole culture fascinating.

Drools. Needs a bib.

This dog was lucky I was not in this category. I would have had it in the bag.

Did somebody say High Maintenance?

The original blow dry bar stemmed from here.

I make no apologies for being a bit of a talker, it embarrasses my kids no end! I started chatting to this mid-fifties dude who was in the marshaling years with his shit-zhu, waiting to compete in one of the initial Best In Show titles. I asked him a million questions,  which he was all too happy to answer.  This man had been showing shit-zhus for 20 years and well, didn’t he just LOVE his shit-zhhus. I was not surprised to learn he was a hairdresser by trade.

I asked him about the culture of dog showing people.  He told me that the environment was excellent and supportive,  until you reached the top and then it was totally hideous with back stabbing and rumours spread and whispers of sabotage.
Sounds just like real life to me.

FYI – The overall Best in Show title was taken out by a …… BEAGLE! Fucking awesome! No blow-dry required.

We walked in the heat and the crowds, ate a little bit of show “food” but kept that to a minimum till after we had gone on the rides. Learning from experience here people!

I was mainly interested in speaking to some carnival workers. The transient group that travels from town to town with a micro-phone and a dead look behind their eyes.

Not Sue

I found my girl. She was about 50 and was in charge of a pond full of ducks. The aim of the game was to get a long pole and select a duck. If you got one that was labelled underneath “DONALD” you got to choose a big prize from the small selection of really dusty soft toys. I handed over my coupons, selected a non DONALD duck and asked if I could ask her some questions.

She was super friendly.  She had been with the show for 15 years. Her name was Sue.

Sue told me that she spends most of the year standing next to the duck pond. She packs it up after each show, jumps in her caravan and travels to the next. Next stop for her is Kempsey Show.  The whole of side-show alley is run by 3 families.  I can see them watching the going-ons on CCTV from their manors. The workers, when not at a show, live up near the Central Coast in accommodation provided for them.

Sue told me how much she missed her family. By the way she talked,  I assumed they were estranged. She had no teeth as evidenced by the way her lips hugged her gums as she spoke. She was short, squat and very smiley. She had to be. Her duck game was not popular, so she needed to draw people to her with her smile and her micro-phone.

I thanked her for her time and asked her to give me a clue as to picking Donald, you know, for next year. She winked and told me to pick the yellow one.

They were all yellow.

My time and tolerance for the show was coming to a rapid close. We hit the show bags so the boys could spend their Birthday money that Sawhole gave them on a bag of complete tatt. Jack took 7 seconds to buy the My Little Pony bag and Harry took FOREVER to pick anything. I also treated myself. The Bertie Beetle bag never goes out of style!

Our family attended the Royal Easter Show as guests of Samsung.
Samsung have just launched their new tablet/phone/whizbang device called the Galaxy Note.
For more information about the Samsung Galaxy Note click here.

To win your own Galaxy Note, worth $800,  please leave a comment about this post, or shows in general or beagles. I will announce the winner, drawn randomly, on Friday 20th April. Australian Residents only. If you Tweet or Facebook this giveaway, come back and leave an additional comment with the link for a bonus entry. Do it twice if you do both!

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  • Anonymous

    I am still too scared to take my 3 to the show. Every year I swear I will and every year I chicken out. I am very disappointed that you didn’t feature the wood-chopping in your post. It isn’t the Easter Show without some wood-chopping!

  • Anonymous

    Oops, no name. That will not be helpful when I win the Galaxy. It’s Karen B.

  • Janine

    Why is it afghan hounds remind me of Farrah fawcett (rip) is it a 70’s thing? Or the hair? & when did cheese on a stick get so frickin small? Gotta love a carnie & a Bertie beetle bag,I also love a sunny boy bag,just for the memories! P.s do sunny boys still have the yellow writing on the inside so you get a free one??

  • Nell

    Love the Easter Show, but haven’t been game to go in the past few years as I now have Mr 2.5 and Mr 0.5. We went to the local show instead which was overwhelming for Mr 2.5!
    Dog Showers are a funny breed. We bought our husky from one and her sisters are shown regularly. Our girl lives the life of a well loved family dog instead.
    Did you enjoy a Dagwood dog or cheese on a stick?!

  • Sidetracked

    Beagles, huh? I remember when I was in year 12 my mates and I started an annual tradition (that only lasted two years because the second one got broken up by the cops after my mate’s skanky roommate’s bogan friends got violent) of having a party over the October long weekend. One mate came late because his footy club had their presentations that night. He was blind drunk by the time he got there and another mate thought it would be hillarious to drive him around town whilst filming him.

    The video made for much better viewing than any of the crap you see on reality TV shows these days. It featured such classics as my mate being prompted to ask for chicken nuggets with the “special white sauce” at McDonald’s, and yelling out to a woman walking her dog late at night “Hey, nice dog! Is it a bagel?” while another mate in the background was hissing “It’s a beagle, you idiot!”

  • danndel

    I am a suckered for the clowns on sideshow alley not that I ever win anything :-)

  • Anonymous

    I wish I had a Bertie beetle show bag (and a galaxy note)!

  • Reannon Hope

    Show food…it’s like footy food – gets me every time!!! But give me a bucket, yes a bucket, of fairy floss & I’m BEYOND happy!!!

  • Dani Williams

    I find show people a frightening breed, as I fear they are all in touch with dead folk, and probably do magic in their spare time.

  • Sarah B

    I grew up with a dad who enjoyed showing chooks and ponies. My sister and i were always wrangled Into helping him show the ponies. It was terrifying and hugely competitive. One funny moment was when a false tail fell off the back of a pony as it ran around the ring. It was such a scandal but I thought it hilarious. Pony people are as fanatic as dog people I think but the chooky blokes were much more laid back. We even ended up in the Country Times newspaper holding dad’s prizewinning chooks. A proud moment and a fun childhood :)

  • Lisa W

    Giving the show a miss this year after going last year with the oldest two children. Our youngest child will be old enough to come along and enjoy it next year . We alway make time to stop at the Dog Pavillion

  • curiosikat

    You know what’s really sick? I actually like those Dagwood dogs, despite the fact that consuming one is about as good for my insides as stabbing myself in the stomach with a fork… Beagles, on the other hand are cute enough I guess but they’re a bit too neat-looking for my liking. A real dog has random bits of shit hanging off its fur and smells a bit weird and tried to eat cardboard and bird poo.

  • TaraMacca

    Ooooh! What was in the My Little Pony bag?? My dear now deceased Uncle was a Lovebird judge at the Easter Show…I went with him a few years in a row. As far as I could see it was a bunch of nicely coloured squarking BITING birds, but he took it very seriously indeed- didn’t smile or accept one bribe all day!

  • britishstorm

    Well I adore Beagles and the Easter show & that’s about it for my comment 😉