Like fish in a barrel.


I opened the paper to see the gorgeous Chrissie Swan staring back out at me with her infectious smile this morning. I adore Chrissie Swan. To me she is approachable and relatable. She is my age and juggles two sons. She is smart as a whip and funny to boot. 

“Seriously- people look at this photo and that’s what they see? How about three happy people, smiling, one mum who adores her children, and that’s it.”


I went on to read the article, which outlined the hate attack she has come under from anonymous folk, tucked up behind the safety of their keyboards.

I felt sick.

“A woman with intelligence and humor? Comfortable in her own skin? OUT OF THE KITCHEN? An outrage! We must tear her down at once …”


I might be a bit raw at the moment. I was picked apart, shredded and crucified in the comments section of the Sydney Morning Herald last week for no other reason than I was a female with a voice that I dared to use.

“Unfortunately, we live in a Patriarchal society and despite the bra burnings and the feminist movements, a lot of people still find themselves threatened by strong female voices. Culturally, parts of the community would be happier with women producing a perfectly clean house, coiffed hair and a martini at the end of the day, rather than a well thought out opinion.”

My mum sent me an email. She wrote of small penised men with downtrodden wives. Mum is a woman with a strong voice. She has been on the local council for 20 years, pushing snowballs up volcanoes, being patronised and bullied by the men she worked with. A picture of her head superimposed onto a bikini model, threats and other lovely tactics.

And all because she was a woman with a strong voice.

“You just have to have a thick skin and inevitably feel sorry for dumb arses and lament over the fact that our society will always have these people on the sidelines.”

I was meant to appear on a high rating prime time show this week to talk about blogging. I had the pre-interview with the producer who asked me whether I ever felt the pressure to have more children so I could continue to be a mummy-blogger. And what my income was. And no, I am not kidding.

My guard went up immediately. I got off the phone, just knowing that no matter what I said, I would be stitched up somewhere. Because it seems to have become a national sport. 

“In my experience, women are extremely supportive of other women. They champion each other’s choices and achievements. They are also quick to tear each other down with such ferocity it’s scary. We all need to work on stamping out the nastiness”


I cancelled the segment.

“Mostly, I think the attacks come from women who are unhappy, insecure and owners of very small minds. They’ve lost all perspective on what’s important in life (assuming they had it in the first place) and think that by attacking others, they will somehow make themselves feel better.”


The truth is, I am just not that tough. Do I have to be? Why can’t I just write my stories, have a laugh and enjoy the process, connections and opportunities that come my way?

Why are women who dare to show an opinion, or even just share a story with an audience, deemed as fair game by any half wit with an internet connection?

I am so naive. I just do not get it.

“I think Anne Summers said it best, way back in 1975 when she spoke of the divide thrust upon women by society, and I think that extends to the media too. They see us as either rotten to the core or intrinsically good – “Damned Whores and God’s Police”. There is no happy medium and leads to so much vitriol including the old pearler ‘you can’t be a good motherand a career woman’



Are the only people we want to see representing women in the media are those chosen based on aesthetics by men? Scripted voices, nodding and smiling along. Making no waves? 

Do we want to be bombarded by perfect images of perfect scenarios so we can look at them and take away a feeling of inadequacy?

Do we continue to accept vanilla because we are too afraid to ask for a different flavour?

“This is the reason why

people retreat and don’t speak up, or dare say something in the world. It’s such a shame. The people who stay small out of fear .. often turn on the people who aren’t staying small. Because how dare somebody else do something that we are too scared to do?”


I often sit and ponder about trolls and nasty fold who take pleasure in putting others down online. It’s like shooting fish in a barrel in a lot of ways. What sort of pleasure does one get from typing such vile offerings.

I am trying to understand. It seems I too, am pushing a snowball up a volcano. I got in touch with Chrissie.


“One day we’ll look back on this persecution with great shame. 
It is weird to be in it.”
Chrissie Swan 


Weird indeed.

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  • http://www.Leoniecooks.blogspot.com/ Leonie

    Mrs W…. you said that so well…. I have read blogs for so long but to ‘chicken’ to put myself out there…. So I kindasorta have under the preface of a ‘food’ blog…. I see no need for everyone to just be on the troll bandwagon and seriously don’t ‘get it’…. its not  that hard to stop reading if you don’t like!!! I personally liked your piece in the paper last week.. and saw no call for the bitchy crappy remarks… and as for Chrissy well I guess it does not pay to be sweet, intelligent, funnny, light hearted, generous, & gorgeous…….seriously love her! she cracks me up! people are so damn quick to judge it stops people wanting to have a go…. sad sad sad,……. thick skin is all well and good but sheesh!

  • http://danceskeletons.blogspot.com.au/ Fiona

    I think you were correct to cancel that interview. Bloggers are fair game at the moment and every troll is ever so brave behind a keyboard. I enjoy reading your blog and hope you continue writing for a long, long time.
    Fi (long time reader, first time poster because this topic really annoys me. The topic, not you.)

  • Carolyn

    What you have written is very true. The anonymity of the internet has meant that people no longer censor themselves. Maybe they think that the more vitriolic they can be behind the safety of the keyboard the less empty they feel inside.
    Unfortunately for them that’s not how it works. They will end up feeling just as lonely and filled with self hatred while people like yourself and Chrissie Swan can turn to your loving friends and family for support.
    You were wise to cancel the telly segment, it’s all spin and beyond the understanding of your average tv producer.
    Also, Australia is still eons behind America and the UK when it comes to employing women in our mainstream media, sure they’ll get a gig, but they have to look a certain way and god help them if they want to continue working beyond 40!

  • The Undomestic Goddess

    I think Beth McDonald said it best when she said there would always be those people on the sidelines who are dumb arses. They wish they were in the game, but thru circumstances largely of their own doing, they aren’t playing and must then take it out on those who do.

  • Erin

    Another great post, Mrs Woog. There are those among us – ‘out there’ – who aren’t trolls or criticisers, but who also aren’t brave enough to speak out, speak up, to give an unguarded version of the truth like you do – but who wish we had the guts to do it.  I applaud you and the others like you doing this – and hope to, one day, be more like you.  And I’m sure there are many others out there like me, wishing the same thing…. please don’t change what you’re doing.

    • Megan

      I feel this way too, far too frightened to speak up and speak out because my skin is so thin. I admire you so much Mrs Woog for doing what you do. Please don’t stop. Hopefully as you move from the middle of this to the other side you can show us how to get through such hateful stuff successfully. Great post.

  • http://www.wheresmyglow.com Glowless

    If you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all… until you’ve had a few drinks then have a bitch session to your BFF in the privacy of your lounge room. 

    • http://www.stylingyou.com.au/ Nikki | Styling You

      My gran’s philosophy (well the first bit)! Can’t imagine Gran hanging out with a BFF actually!

    • http://www.mrsnotable.com.au/ Louisa | Mrs Notable

      prefect!

  • Sooze

    Opinions are like backsides. Everyone has one. Thing is everyone shouldn’t share them!
    I self censor all the time. It doesn’t matter what I think about how someone else lives or what choices they make if it doesn’t affect me or my family.
    That doesn’t mean I’d be a narky trolling witch if I didn’t self censor, it just means I choose my words and my topics carefully when it comes to others. Hurting people rips my heart out so I’m sure as hell not going to go out of my way to do it. I believe in treating people the way I like to be treated and stuff, people in glass houses and all that.
    I’m sad that you and other bloggers have to be so paranoid sometimes, cancelling that intervriew for example, shouldn’t be necessary. But it sounds like following your gut was the right thing to do.
    Some people just suck. That is all.

  • http://somedaywewillsleep.com/ Veronica

    I think we also need to respect that the commenters on the SMH, as much as we disagree with what they had to say, also were just voicing their opinions. That IS what some parts of society think about strong minded women. It IS what they think about Mummybloggers.

    It doesn’t change how you live your life, because really, their opinions only hold as much weight as you give them.

    People don’t like change. It threatens the way they think – and honestly, everyone is a critic these days.

  • http://keepingupwiththeholsbys.com/ Danielle

    Anyone who puts themselves out there is opening themselves up to opinion. Many people will be supportive but it is exactly as you say- people too scared to do it, and small minded people, will pull you down. Eden is right, and Mandela said it similarly, being small does not serve you, so stand up tall. Sadly, you do need a thick skin if you put yourself out there. It ain’t right but ’tis the nature of the beast. Brings home once more why we need to stick together as a community and support one another as best we can. Stand sure, Mrs Woog, don’t let the bastards grind you down.

  • http://shimmmergirl.posterous.com/ shimmmergirl

    I absolutely agree with you, and I confess the fear of negative comments and sheer nastiness means I’m a ‘frozen blogger’. I started up a personal blog a while ago, but kept my identity relatively secret. I made one innocuous comment that bothered someone I care about and after that, I’m very careful when I write. 

    What can I write about that won’t offend someone or challenge their world view?Nothing.Not even hair products, because some troll will call me shallow or vacuous. I think you’re very brave to be writing so honestly and it’s encouraged me (and no doubt many others) to get out there. I fear the trolls are the very dark side of blogging and the internet as a whole. The misogyny astounds me.One of the comments I read about Chrissie Swan’s kids today upset me so much that it’s stayed with me all day. Who could think such terrible things, let alone write them? What about those men who say malicious and horrible things about women online? I won’t even read the story in the Daily Tele today, asking if a 70kg woman is overweight. I already know what will be said.  The other day, I read an actual newspaper and was so relieved to just read a story, enjoy it and not see the hideous comments at the end. 

    Perhaps the whole issue is about opinionated women. I worked in talk radio once and we were told that people don’t like listening to the opinions of women, and their voices were too high for older men to understand (seriously).

    Whenever we put a female host on air as a stand in, the switchboard would light up with hideous comments. 

    I don’t know where it comes from and it scares me. 

  • Misha

    I have tried and tried and tried to get my head around this kind of senseless persecution.  But I can’t make sense of it and can’t explain it.  Yet I really wish that I could because then maybe we could start to turn it around.  I think (and hope) that Chrissie is right… that one day society will look back on all of this with great shame.  Because frankly, it is utterly shameful.  In the meantime, stay strong Mrs W. xo  

  • Katrina Higham

    People that throw stones live in glass houses….and the ones that are writing comments such as what has been happening in the last few weeks clearly have nothing better to do with their lives other than pick on others. What makes this even worse is that women (and men) who are being so ugly and writing and saying nasty things are the bullies that used to be in our schools and have never really left the yard.

    Feel sorry for the individual that spreads crap like that. Jealousy is a bitch isn’t it? :)
     

  • http://www.easypeasykids.com.au/ Easy Peasy Kids

    Human behaviour is so very complex but the bravado of trolling behind a computer is so very easy. I’ve learnt more about human behaviour through a year of blogging than all my studies, research and consultations. There is an amazing amount of kindness too yet one anon can make you feel so worthless. We live through our emotions I’m trying not to take it all so personally.

  • http://www.singularinsanity.com/ Dorothy

    I love Veronica’s quote above.  As far as I’m concerned this backlash is all about silencing women’s voices. Their real, unscripted voices and images.  I am determined to keep going and keep shouting.  I’ve only been attacked once, on my FB page, by a supposed friend, which tells me that perhaps I am not loud enough?

  • Desireempire

    The best response to this nastiness is not to respond at all.  It just annoys them and that is the best effect you can have, whilst all the while retaining your grace and composure.

    Just keep doing what you are doing and be proud, damn proud you are having any effect at all.
    Carolyn

  • Desireempire

    PS I leave all nasty comments on my blog and usually respond with humour.  No point in taking one’s self too seriously.
    Carolyn

  • Corrie

    I got so cranky when someone said on my blog well if you blog then you have to accept the criticism that you receive so just deal with it. Um no, that is not what I signed on for. I hate that the more people that read my blog the more people decide to judge me….and try to ruin my day!

    I wouldn’t want to be on a tv show either that started like that! eventhough my family has grown exponentially I would find that very offensive!!!!!

    love that you contacted Chrissie Swan, I just love her and loved her article in AWW this month! She is just so full of life and fun!

    Corrie:0

  • http://catep36.blogspot.com/ Cate P

    I saw one blogger refer to another blogger as a “loudmouth” last week (without naming of course, too cowardly for that) purely because she had a different opinion. And I have seen bloggers tweet cryptically about reading blogs which were either too opinionated, too whiney, too boring, or too long.
    I admit I have complained about bloggers asking me to vote for this, vote for that, pick me, oooh oooh oooh pick me, but I’m up front about it.Maybe us bloggers need to accept other bloggers having their loud, strong or long-winded voices, and then the media will too. Just a thought.

  • ArtistKnownAsSawHole

    I am so sorry those people on the SMH tried to tear you down. Note I said tried to tear you down because you have an inner core than fuck wits will never penetrate. 
    I am with Dorothy, it is all about silencing women.
    One foot ahead of the other.
    Love you. xx

  • http://river-driftingthroughlife.blogspot.com/ river

    I don’t see the point of hate mail. I really don’t. If you disgree with something you’ve read or seen SO much that all thoughts on the matter are hateful, then just turn the page, change the channel. Disagreeing with someone is okay if you’re able to discuss disagreements politely and learn from each other, but hateful stuff such as is seen more and more is inexcusable.
    As for that producer, “my income is irrelevant to this interview” and No to the children question while adding “my blog will evolve in a different direction as the children grow and I find other things to write about, why focus on the mummy-blog aspect? Just focus on blogging in general”.

  • http://www.kellyexeter.com.au/ Kelly Exeter

    Such a powerful post this one. It highlights how, as soon as you develop a profile of any degree, you are fair game for the haters. So you get savvy very quickly (as you did by cancelling that tv segment) and, sadly, you develop a rhinoceros hide. I think it is so sad that in order for us to hear those with the strong voices, those with the strong voices have to be so tough skinned. What is the answer? Not sure as you can’t change human nature and there are plenty of humans out there with very small minds

    • http://www.singularinsanity.com/ Dorothy

      The answer is to keep talking and keep making those little changes in the world immediate to us that we are able to.  Eventually, human nature will change as we challenge what is deemed acceptable behaviour.

  • Debyl1

    I love your raw open honesty at all times Mrs Woog and admire you greatly for being that way.
    It makes me so mad and so very sad that so much online nasty goes on.I was so naive when I first entered the cyberworld as I believed it was a place of support for one another.I am slowly being shown it is not always the case.
    My dad was a senior lecturer at a uni in his day and always said to us,it did not matter what job you had so long as you could look yourself in the mirror and be happy with the person staring back at you.
    My mum was a nurse and always said if you cant say something nice then dont say anything at all.
    I dont think these cyber bullies could look themselves in the mirror and be proud of what they see when they cant even be proud enough to put their names to the hurtful words they write.
    So I find it hard to accept that women turn on other women when we should be here supporting one another as there is enough bullying and nasty in our worlds.Blogs etc should be a safe place to go and just be.
    I only wish the love and support you have from us all can take away any hurt that the horrible comments you received last week may have caused.
    You are one hell of an amazing women who has helped so many other women with your wonderful blog.Your children will grow up to be very very proud of their mum for all the good you have done and for the giving kind hearted person you are..
    I hope you can see how amazing you truelly are and dont ever let the nasty ones get anywhere near your heart as all the love and support of your followers will be an invisible shield that protects you from them all.Big warm hugs xxx

  • http://www.sillymummy.com/ Silly Mummy

    I think you made a good decision cancelling. 

    You know one reason why many men are complaining about ‘mummy bloggers?’ Because their wives read our blogs and get ideas about how to have a voice. I don’t think I need to elaborate.

  • http://www.hcgourmet.com.au/ High Country Gourmet

    “our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us most….. your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won’t feel insecure around you…. and when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same” The very powerful words used by Nelson Mandela, written by Marianne Williamson. Shine away. Grow tall. Just do it

  • catebolt

    I have an answer for this post. It’s becoming my standard answer for pretty much everything.

    “Fuck ‘em. Fuck ‘em all”

    The more time and energy you spend thinking about this the crazier you become. I know. I’ve had death threats. I’ve had people threaten to have my kids taken from me. I’ve been called every name from A to Z and ones I’d never even heard before.

    Even Mother Teresa had her haters. Haters gonna hate. They only win when you listen to them.

  • Sarah

    Love Chrissie Swan – I admire how she conducts herself – she is smart, articulate, funny and beautiful inside and out. What a gorgeous pic of her sons and her.

    Love ur work Mrs Woog – keep it up. Sounds like your bs radar was working when you spoke with the producer of the TV show – their loss.

    Keep it up Chrissie and Mrs Woog – don’t let the bastards get you down.

  • http://www.mdkaos.blogspot.com/ Mummaducka

    Um, have more children so that you can stay a mummyblogger??? What? Once you’ve had a kid aren’t you always their mum, no matter how old they are? Of course what you talk about will change and mature right along with the children, but once a mum aren’t you always always a mum, even if they are adult children?

    And discussing your income- who does that? Do you also have to tell what your hubby’s is too? Shares? Business interests? Even my accountant has a hard time getting a handle on that one. OMG! How to get your kids kidnapped!!

    Yes I also think you did the right thing cancelling that segment, I don’t think it may have been intellectually compatible with you and you would have been bored. Perhaps the questions may have been changed at the last minute.

    I don’t fully understand the wickedness involved in nasty comments, I believe it may stem from character faults, or even mental illness or insane jealousy or the fact that the internet is the only place the commenter can have a voice and get attention! Remember, their voice is probably pretty pathetic in real life too and they get silenced by the masses, no one wants to listen or read nasty stuff. Any attention is what they want, whether the source is positive or negative, just like a neglected child they will play it up to get the focus onto them. Notorious rather than famous. Just like a mad rambler in the street, don’t acknowledge them and they will leave you alone.

    Just stand tall, be strong and keep on with what you do, ride the wave and it will settle, It’s a passing thing all the negativity from TV and newspapers. I can’t believe they have only just noticed bloggers. Um a bit behind the times eh? Perhaps they just reviewed where the advertising dollars are going? You will navigate it all with grace. I fear trolls will always be around. Just ignore them, delete their comments and take away their voice- again, that’s what they deserve.

  • http://twitter.com/VixenBusiness Cristina Romeo

    Women who are well behaved do not make history. Why do others feel enjoyment from tearing other people down who dare to stand up for what they believe in and make their voice heard? It’s easy to be an anonymous commenter but it takes guts to put your real name and identity with your opinions. 

  • http://lifeloveandhiccups.blogspot.com Sonia@ LIfe Love and Hiccups

    I have often wondered if the trollish commenters are people who just cant stand to see others succeed. Is it jealousy or just pure spite? I dont know, but I know it saddens me. I just cant imagine wanting to hurt someone, to make them feel like shit in the hope it makes me feel better about myself…. that just seems too incredibly insane, but there are obviously others out there who feel differently. What annoys me the most is there are so many fabulous voices out there that deserve to be heard, but they are afraid to speak out in fear of being attacked. You just keep on doing exactly what you are doing you awesome chick, and know that you have an army of supporters who have got your back! xx

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11556843852780239036 Cat

    It makes me so very sad that you needed to say any of this. If we all traveled our own journey with dignity, grace and a good sense of humour, working towards the best version of ourselves we can be then this wouldn’t be necessary to say. I don’t think you should have to come under fire for being you in an online world any more than you should in the actual world. I would never tear anyone down to build myself up and really don’t get people who would! All just very, very sad. For what it’s worth, I love your stories and the way you find fun, humour and awesomeness wherever you go. With all my love and champagne-smelling smooches to you Mrs Woog. Xxxx

  • http://jumbledstuff.wordpress.com/ Lisa

    We had an incident in Melbourne a few years ago when the ‘delightful’ Sam Newman had a mannequin dressed in lingerie with Caroline Wilson’s head on it on the AFL version of The Footy Show (Caroline is the senior football writer for The Age and her father was the President of the Richmond Football Club as she was growing up, so of course while she hasn’t played the game, she knows a bit about it). Anyway, the treatment of the mannequin was completely and utterly despicable and I’ve never watched the show again.

    All this because she is a strong voice in an extremely dominated male environment. I find the trolls and Sam Newman utterly irrelevant and that’s the way they should be treated.

  • Sally

    Jealousy manifests is so many ways.  Unfortunately in so many it shows in criticism.  Let me tell you as a SAHM sometimes I am as jealous as hell at all your ladies who have more going on then their child’s new word, some Year 2 homework and the ironing pile I might think the odd snarly thought.  Then I try and write something nice to you.  Because I realise I am jealous.  Plain and simple.  If people were honest with themselves about what is making them think these things and then what lets themselves write them I think it would always boil down to good old fashioned jealousy.

  • Alison

    The media has always been male dominated. Women’s magazines primarily are focused on being good home makers or being fashionable. Despite their editors attempts to maybe crossover into serious journalism, their advertising forces them to keep focused on either of these two themes. Blogging changes the whole playing field and that freaks people out, As a mum in a family that doesn’t look anything like the family in the Myer Xmas ads, I love reading blgs to know that I am not the only one with imperfect kids and that I am not alone in being frustrated, taking shortcuts but still loving my family and wanting the best for them. But my house doesn’t have to look like a magazine and my meals may not be made from market fresh ingredients every night.
    Do I agree with all blogs? Of course not. We are all different but instead of diversity some choose to force their opinion on others. And being women we always bite at the bait don’t we. It’s part of ou programming and despite what we say about ” fuck ‘em” we will still stew on it and feel upset. But we must learn to shake it off as soon as is possible.

    Keep blogging and stop the press barons from dominating how we see ourselves and our family. We need to see other women being honest so we can all have more courage to challenge those who make us feel less than capable. If you are not upsetting someone you are probably not doing it honestly!

    • http://www.singularinsanity.com/ Dorothy

      Hear, hear!  Can I quote you?  I am so tempted to blog about the constant pot shots that traditional media take at women who blog.  I don’t see it happening to men who blog.  Not even those who blog about parenting or fashion.  Apparently, it’s OK for men to say anything they like, but not for women.

  • http://www.crashtestmummy.com.au/ Laney @ Crash Test Mummy

    I was just talking to someone about the peril of sharing an opinion or weighing in on a contentious debate.  I guess if one offers an opinion publicly online, then people can reply publicly, but it does not give them permission to be so nasty.  I am dumbfounded by some of the things I read.  Would people really say that directly to someone in person?  All I can say is that there must be a lot of intoxicated and angry bogans at their keyboards . . . or just people who act that way?  Not a good look.

  • le_third

    the online environment has bought out the ‘toxic’ in people .. last year I had the misfortune of having my blog quoted back at me on the floor of a council meeting by a disgruntled ex employee … it was an eye opener considering  I don’t blog about work :) then a blog was created to save the region from me – I was at first amazed and then sort of hurt for a few days then I remember that these people meant NOTHING to me and given I had a ‘high profile job’ (in their minds) I was fair game … my best revenge is living my life on my terms, proud of my achievements and moving forward while they wallow and weep and bitch and decay – sounds harsh eh and bitter(?) but I’m not – but I did learn a fair lesson :) best to you Mrs Woog le xox

    • Desireempire

      here here.  You go girl
      Carolyn

  • le_third

    ps that question about having more kids so you could maintain your position as a mummy blogger – how god-damn weird is that … when does the timeline on being a mummy expire … I thought it was a lifelong position … le xox

  • http://themummyautobiography.com/ Miss Pink

     
     
    I will never understand how all these strong and powerful and fucking smart women, rely on their ability to find fault in others, and proclaim it to anyone with ears to make them feel good about themselves.
    It turns my stomache just thinking about living my life that way. Am I guilty of having a bitch? Yes. But I would hate for it to define who I am, and I would hate to attack someone for a decision/choice/action because it isn’t something I would choose.
    We ARE entitled to our opinions, but it doesn’t always mean we should share it. People need to consider more often how they would feel if some “anonymous” was to share those words with them.

  • http://www.zoeymartin.com/ Zoey Martin

    I love Chrissie Swan. I’m so sad that she (or anyone) would be subject to a personal attack. I think attacks of hatred are completely unacceptable.

    And it saddens me that sometimes people with a differing opinion are lumped in with personal attacks as well. Expressing a different opinion isn’t an attack. 

    I think we potentially lose a whole lot if you can’t disagree respectfully without being labelled as a ‘troll’ or a ‘hater’.

  • http://profiles.google.com/ingrid.mccarthy0707 Ingrid McCarthy

    I’ve just discovered your blog and have to say I’m enjoying it. Love your honesty, perspective, humour, writing and even the swearing! It’s real. So is Chrissy Swan. 

    I have a blog and I’m honest on it, but I have to admit, I’m happy with my few little followers and half a dozen regular commenters. I couldn’t really deal with too much criticism. I don’t have a thick skin and one of my (many) faults is that I really want people to like me (a la Sally Field). I don’t get trolls, except that they must be pretty insecure and the anonymity of the keyboard apparently lets them say things they wouldn’t dare in real life.

  • http://www.thekidsareallright.com.au/ Rachel @ TheKidsAreAllRight

    As if anyone needs another opinion, but here I go. When I first heard the term “mummy blogger”, I assumed these were mums of babies and small children writing about their babies and small children. And this made me run a mile, for the
    same reason I always avoided mothers’ group.

    Of course I learnt that the term was misleading and I found plenty of interesting blogs about all sorts of topics,
    including but certainly not limited to children, that were very clever and funny and thought provoking.

    I tend to think the backlash is partly from people who have not read any “mummy bloggers”, and assume it’s a bunch of new mums who are obsessed by their children and talking about how many poos they do each day. 

    The other reason for the backlash, IMHO, is not that people don’t want to hear what women have to say, as I really do
    believe that society, generally, is beyond that… mostly. It’s that people do not value what mums have to say,
    especially those that stay at home. Women in the workforce are certainly allowed their opinions and are respected for their work, but when they leave, and become a mum, they don’t really count anymore. If they choose to come back
    to the workforce it’s like they miraculously grow a brain again and can play with everyone else.

  • http://ameliadraws.wordpress.com/ amelia

    you and eden and clem and anne summers and many many other woman inspire me. x

  • Anonymous

    In NPR’s Planet Money interview of musician Jonathan Coulton, they asked him how much money he made last year. They asked because he gives his music away for free over the Internet; you can pay for it, but nobody has to. It’s a new business paradigm, like being a Mummy blogger, and people are wondering if anyone can make money off it. I suspect that’s why the producer asked you how much you make from your job; if you had an older, more established profession – architect, or lawyer – there would be no reason to ask.

    As for the “pressure to have more kids” question, if you had faced that pressure, it makes the story more interesting. The producer’s job is to find the most interesting angle to a story; I suspect that’s where that question came from.

  • http://ameliadraws.wordpress.com/ amelia

    Actually the only good thing that comes out of all this is that i have my entire thirty years of life been told feminism is dead…. i get to say i told you so…. it’s a bitter sentence. One i wish i was wrong about.

  • http://bigwordsblog.blogspot.com bigwords

    Us women are brave, strong, smart, savvy and determined. Time to shake off the assholes and the nastiness and small-minded judgement and just keep on doing what makes us happy. Stuff em. I love this post and Mrs Woog, I love you x

  • http://twitter.com/Danimezza Danimezza

    The whole thing makes me :(

  • Cate

    Beautiful photo of Chrissie and her kids.  And no, it’s not ok to be an arsehole, unless someone has attacked you first, and then you can retaliate if you really feel the need….or you can block them and walk away.  But I hear you, I really do.  The bile that gets thrown about is just unbelievable.  It’s been my experience that strong women and intelligent women are somewhat reviled by large chunks of our society.  As much as we bleat about women’s rights and how far feminism has come, I feel that Australia is still a very chauvanistic country and I am flabbergasted at the amount of abuse that actually comes from other women.  It’s important to surround yourself with supportive people and ignore the rest as best as you can.  I always try to think, well, how unhappy must they be that the only way they can feel empowered is to tear someone else down. There are good people out there.  It’s just a pity that one has to wade through so many arseholes to find them.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1434592368 Ann Richardson

    i say…thanks  ( to them ) for noticing me …. and i move on and they are generally left dumb – fucked and full of rage…Ax 

  • Ruthrebecca

    One of my favourite reads “Women Who Run With the Wolves” by Dr Clarissa Pinkoloa Estes.  It is what I take time out to read a few pages of when shit like this gets the better of me at times.  Also “Succulent, Wild Woman” by SARK is bloody amazing too.  These are my oracles, that bring me back to my centre and always, always gives me the fortitude to soilder on.  It is true – what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!  You should do the interview, kill him with kindness, just like you did the kids father who was gave Harry [or was it Jack?] a hard time at school.  Fight the good fight.  Even if it is through gritted teeth and you have to slam you head a few times in the kitchen cupboard when you get home.  And wine.  Many have gone before you, let’s that not be diminished or futile……we are standing with you in spirit girlfriend!! xo

  • http://www.yTravelBlog.com/ yTravelBlog

    I feel sorry for the trolls because I know that they are desperately unhappy and insecure and miss out on living a beautiful life because they choose to play small. They don’t make the time or effort to improve themselves and be the best they can. As a result they have to tear others down around them who aim high and want to make their lives mean something. As if that is something so vile!! Holy shit this world is so messed up. This is why I spend so much of my life in my travel bubble escaping the trolls and nastiness of society.

    You cannot every let these assholes tear you down. Just feel sorry for them. Imagine how desperately unhappy they are. They are the real losers. 

    I think the more each of us continues to let our own light shine, to live the best lives we can, to encourage and support others and to create positive spaces then the more this will catch on and the trolls will disappear- either to attack someone more vulnerable, or to hopefully, decide that they too have a light that is worth shining, and it can shine without trying to steal the light and power from others.

    Hold your head high and walk proudly forward. You have a voice and a story that is worth sharing. You have a life that deserves to be lived fully. Surround yourself only with those who celebrate you, not tolerate you-in all aspects of your life. 

  • http://emhawker.blogspot.com/ Emily

    Just keep writing your thang Mrs Woog, and we’ll keep reading it. You rock. That is all.

  • http://mrsbcshouseofchaos.blogspot.com.au/ Lisa Barton-Collins

    I think you did the right thing cancelling, but it’s a shame you had to. I don’t know if gender has anything to do with it, or if it is just morons being pig ignorant – women seem to be just as vocal as men. And what can you expectfrom a pig, but a grunt?

    I try not to be judgemental unless I actually know someone, and even then I generally keep my comments to  myself. Not because I’m fearfull, but because I’m polite.  No, really!

    I’ve never found your blog offensive, so please don’t change or stop anything that you are doing. You are entitled to every success, regardless of the trolls and thier opinions.

    Fuck em!

    xx

  • Bri King

    You should see what trolls crawl out from under the rocks when you write a Fat Acceptance blog and appear in the national print media and TV talking about why you refuse to be made to feel like shit by other people just because you are morbidly obese (or death fat as I prefer to call it). 

  • http://www.fitbodyfifty.com/ Kerryn Woods

    People are arseholes. That pretty much sums the whole situation up. Few people have manners any more, and being nice is apparently out of fashion. 

    As for Chrissie – who could possibly dislike her? She’s so genuinely NICE and happy and just a joy to listen to.

    Arseholes.

  • Rex

    I read something really wonderful today.

    It was about the fact that when people give out insulting abuse, it says far more about who they are as people than anything to do with the person they are directing the abuse and insults too. It’s so true.

    I absolutely adore this post and all the quotes from these wonderful bloggers.

    I haven’t got tough skin, but I have angel feathers that roll that water right off……… Just like a humble leunig duck. And this post tells me you have too. X

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/02278850983558455546 Yvette Vignando

    Woogsy, if people are belittling or hating , in my opinion it comes from one or both of these two places: ignorance and jealousy. Your answer will be, I know, success. May your snowballs harden into diamonds that are harder and brighter than any ancient volcanoes. x

  • http://blog.downthatlittlelane.com.au/ Tessa White

    Jealousy is such a curse, they slam the skinny, the slam the overweight  (even when they are not that overweight).. the more happiness people have be it by hard work or just winning lottery they hate because they are jealous.

     It is a curse I hope is never bestowed on me because I don’t get it and wouldn’t know how to deal with it.. seeing it in others makes my blood boil… it makes people act like dickheads

  • Sharon Olney

    Hi Mrs Woog, you know that the haters are always gonna hate. But I think that you have WAAAAAY more supporters behind you than these obnoxious trolls (I suspect that trolls like to create many different identities to try to boost their influence as well, so don’t necessarily believe that they’re all coming from different people. Seriously). So I want to say to you, try not to worry! Just keep doing what you’re doing. You know as well that people who agree with one’s opinion tend not to speak up and say it, so just because the trolls seem a bit louder doesn’t mean that they have the numbers. Focus on the positive, and really say F You to the rest. I know, easier said than done. I like you Mrs Woog, I think you’re a lovely lady so don’t want you to feel bad about these things. Having said that, I understand why you felt the need to ask these questions. Truth be told, perhaps us women should be a bit more honest about ourselves. If we were brutally honest, we’d admit that there is a part of us that does like to bash other women to make ourselves feel good (depending on our natures, once in a while or more often than that). We don’t realise that each time that we undermine another woman, we only undermine ourselves – it’s really not a good look!!! The key is for us to stop doing it, just stop it completely! Stop doing it even once here and there. Negativity is just BS. Let’s try to have more respect for each other instead, even if we totally disagree with each other’s POVs. Every woman is doing her best. Never ever be jealous or envious as this doesn’t do anything good for anybody, so why bother? What does one gain from being jealous or envious? Absolutely nothing! And just stop with all this judging. Do you know why you cop it the most as a mummy blogger, it’s because of all these “mummy wars” where mums judge other mums the most, and then as a blogger who voices their opinion, well no wonder you cop the most flak!! Need to invest in a flak jacket maybe :-) Anyway please have more faith in yourself Mrs Woog, like your supportive readers have faith in you. Don’t let the trolls stop you from having fun. Lots of love, Sharon xx

  • Amanda Roberts

    Seriously? SMH commenters. Morons.

    I am an expat who used to read SMH a couple of times a week for a dose of home. I had to stop reading. The online commenters are poorly educated bogans. I am ashamed to call myself Australian when I read such twaddle. The number of times they start a post by saying things like ‘I have a double degree in…..’ yeah, sure. You nutter.

    Don’t be stimied by the bottom dwellers. Do what you do so well and stuff the lot of them. Love your blog.

    • vegemitevix

       We have an equivalent over here in the UK called the Daily Mail – so incredibly incendiary that it’s frequently known as the Daily Fail.

  • http://allconsuming.com.au/ allconsuming

    I think it is very easy for all of us to roll our eyes, mutter ‘troll’, tell each other to ignore it and move on. While I think that is sage advice for your sanity, in a way it also gives the naysayers, the trolls, the haters permission to keep marching on their merry path of hate and denigration. 

    The Internet is the ultimate double-edged sword. While it creates communities and connections we would never otherwise experience while also allowing us to put things on the mainstream agenda that would never otherwise be there, it also lets people hide. Hide behind their petty grievances, their jealousy, their bigotry, racism, hatred and every other ugly human emotion. 
    It is the perfect forum for small, fearful, close-minded people just as it is a grand arena for human magnificence. 

    The question is why? Why does the Interweb drive people into camps black and white when really the world exists everywhere in-between?

    For starters there are a lot of really stupid people in the world who now have a voice. This is unfortunate. 

    Then there’s the pot-shots. The easy hits. Where people with no manners and have never been taught the concept of consequences for their words or actions can – and will – say nasty, vicious and malicious things about people for the mind-bogglingly simple reason: because they can. 

    That could be an over-simplification but dwelling on it any more than that is giving them attention they do not deserve. They shoot from the hip, lacking the intelligence or self-awareness to think, ‘hang on, why am I feeling like this towards this person?’ thereby realising the bile and vitriol they spit at others through an online comment is actually a reflection on THEM not the person they’re aiming at. 

    But then there is the most worrying: the bigots and extremists who finally have a loud-haler no one can wrestle off them. Those who finally have a vehicle for publicising and voicing their hate and their discriminatory views with very little recourse available to those they defame. The main concern I have with this foul section of our population is that all those stupid people I mentioned earlier are easily swayed and convinced by arguments which appeal to our basest of emotions, the dark whisperings in our hearts. That, is the most troubling of all.  

  • http://allconsuming.com.au/ allconsuming

    And I’m really glad you pulled out of that interview. I mean, there’s publicity and exposure but then there’s opening your mouth for them to shove the apple in just before they skewer you onto the spit. 

  • http://www.twitchycorner.com/ Twitchy

    So glad you cancelled the show. Had a gutful of seeing and hearing about bloggers’ words and energy being twisted to the lowest level of unflattery. Get fucked! With any luck they’ll run out of interviewees and we won’t have to endure this brand of tripe any more. I often wonder how much shit a successful man has had to put up with compared with a successful woman- if merit were given for that we’d see a hell of a lot more females at the top.

  • vegemitevix

    Wow. That is absolutely horrendous. I had no idea that mysognism was still so alive and well in Australia. Hang in there hun, I know it’s easier for me to say from so far away, but try to remember that you are well loved by many admirers right across the world. And the haters? Fuck em.

  • http://www.accidentallybeautiful.com/ rhonda hartman

    I recently came across an entire forum dedicated to online bullying.  There were pages and pages of nastiness mostly about some of my personal favorite American bloggers.  I could not believe it.  I love sharing my opinion and if I don’t agree with something I will do so respectfully.  I just don’t understand all the hate.

  • http://twitter.com/FatMumSlim Chantelle Ellem

    It’s sad, isn’t it? I was asked to speak on radio last week about blogging. The producer shared that the audience was 1.2 million listeners. And then he shared that I’d be talking about that article with you and Eden in it.

    I knew in the pits of my stomach that I would be stitched up, or put on the spot, or asked questions I didn’t want to answer. So I cancelled.

    It’s sad that we need such a thick skin to survive this in one piece, but I just hope it makes us better people at the end of it all – not bitter and twisted.

    • Tessathetealady

      Good on you for cancelling. What is with the “gotcha” moment that all TV and radio stations seem to strive for. Where has good journalism gone? 

  • http://vicky-lifeonthehill.blogspot.com.au/ Vicky Finch

    “I am so naive. I just do not get it.”

    This… This is how I feel everytime I come across a story of someone being on the receiving end of “hate” comments, and online vitriol. Some of the things I have read lately have left my head spinning.

    But I refuse to become jaded and cynical. I will cling to my naivety like a much loved blanket if it means that I will remain with the belief that there are more people in the world that wish well of others then haters that want to tear each other down

  • http://www.diminishinglucy.com Diminishing Lucy

    Lovely, I feel like a shit, because I was totally unaware of any of this going on. I am so sorry. The quotes above from everyone resonate with me. I cannot replicate anything as smart, but I do truly believe that women with voices are ALWAYS picked on, regardless of age or era. It’s just that these days we all know and hear about it because of the media. That social media. That internet. ‘Tis a double edged sword.

    Hoist by our own petard…

  • http://profiles.google.com/sifdal Sif Dal

    My mum is Icelandic, and in Iceland women are equal. I’ve always grown up believing I’m equal and not feeling touched by anyone who believes others – they’re just stupid, right? As an adult woman in Australia, I have to say I’ve seen more disrespect toward women than ever before in my entire life. I don’t get it. I don’t get that women feel oppressed or allow themselves to feel oppressed because I’ve never lived with that kind of oppression before. I think a lot of women (not the women quoted here, but certainly the trolls) are complicit in the oppression of women within the Australian culture. It is not like this for women in other parts of the world. In many ways, I’m beginning to view Australian women as MORE oppressed than some women in cultures which have classically been view as oppressed because Australian women DO have a voice and sadly so many choose not to use it.

  • http://tinagray.me/ Tina @ Tina Gray {dot} Me

    I don’t think there’s much I can add because your fabulous commenters have said it all. You knew you had to have such tough skin to be a blogger. I think you did the right thing cancelling the segment, but sad that you even had to. Love your work, Woogs. x

    • http://tinagray.me/ Tina @ Tina Gray {dot} Me

      F&*k it. I can’t type today. I mean WHO knew you had to have tough skin. I need a job where I don’t have to type.

  • Melissa Pridham

    Just read some of the SMH comments. Vile. You write well & give people a laugh. What’s the problem? I think you made the right decision re. the tv spot but please don’t let them silence you! Obviously your followers adore you. Bugger the rest.

  • Sally James

    I don’t get the hate either. I don’t understand why people would seek out things to read to then get offended about IT.
    But……………………..
    Do you not see even a small correlation between your joking about North Shore mums wearing puffer vests, walking their designer dogs and putting my family stickers and private school stickers on the back of their European four wheel drive? Someone somewhere in some form or another is vilifying another group of people.
    Yours may be funny and the intent behind it is to laugh, but isn’t it two side of the same coin?
    You have picked out a section of society and through your blog you make fun of it. Through your blog you encourage your readers to have a laugh.
    Now don’t get me wrong, I see the difference between totally hateful comments and the fun side of your posts but when making fun of anyone is acceptable just because it is funny, makes it harder to justify being angry when people cross the line and make hurtful comments. What happens if they justify their actions by saying ‘Oh I was just having a laugh, don’t be so precious”
    Perhaps ALL forms of bulling need to be addressed, even the bulling that takes the form of “just for fun”
    Everyone needs to respect each other’s choices in life and just get on with living THEIR BEST LIFE

    • Mrs Woog

      I joke about North Shore mums because I am one.

      • Sally James

        I get that, but you don’t wear a puffer vest, you don’t have the family stickers on your car, you don’t have the designer dog etc etc. You have written many a post poking fun at these women. Yes it is funny and yes it is a bit accurate BUT you are still making fun of someone and their life choices.
        I don’t see how this is different.
        I love your blog and I think you are spot on about the mean comments that people write, I just wanted to point out that we all too some extent pick on people for their choices.
         
        People companied about the term ‘mummy blogger “because it does not accurately describe the varied women and their life experiences behind the blog.
         People reading the SMH article just made assumptions about the women behind the blogs, don’t you see that you are doing it as well? We all do it; we all have our stereotypes of people and or preconceived notions of people.
        That is human nature.
        I understand that people being nasty in the comments of a blog are different but it is also the same in some regards.
        Picking on people because of who they are, what they do, how they look etc
         
        Same same
         

        • Mrs Woog

          Thanks for your point of view x

          • Claireyhewitt

            I agree with Sally James and think that Mrs Woog should buy and wear a puffer jacket for a whole weekend, including a walk down the street with Mr Woog in his matching puffer vest.

          • Mrs Woog

            Oh alright then. As long as I can carry a French Market Basket over one arm.

          • vegemitevix

             Bugger. Does that mean I do actually have to run around after my Englishman making him cups of tea all day, as I pilloried in the original Tribal Wives in Britain, the precursor to Mrs Woog’s fab Tribal Wives on the North Shore post? There is a huge difference between gentle ribbing and all out attack and I think most NZers and Aussies get that.

          • http://www.goodgollyholly.com/ Good Golly Miss Holly!

            Maybe I’m abit bias because I wrote about my own local tribal wives but isn’t there an enormous difference between tongue in cheek and being a troll? Or am I just an insensitive asshole? x

          • vegemitevix

            No I don’t think you’re being biased, that’s exactly the point I was trying to get across. In a sense it’s about the spirit in which it is written, isn’t it? x Which Tribal wives was yours hun, I can’t remember now but I’ve got about 30 I want to collect into an ebook..

        • Becthewordsmith

          Sally, Mrs Woog pokes (relatively) gentle fun at a segment of society who are generally well aware enough of themselves to recognise the fun and laugh.  I’m sure many of her subscribers are puffer jacket wearing mum’s with family stickers on their car. 

          There’s a substantial difference between humourous writing and the generalisations that come with it, and brutally and publicly attacking another person based on one photograph.  No-one publicly questions the life choices of a North Shore Mum in a puffer vest at her sons rugby match.  

          But Chrissie Swan is open target, just like Julie Goodwin.  Because readers of whatever magazine it is can see (or think they can see) the results of their life choices up there in front of them.  And then they think they are in a position to judge them.

          But they’re not.  And they shouldn’t. And they are so far off target it would be laughable if it wasn’t so cryable.   

          If we all became so vanilla and generic that we never poked sly fun at one another, then we’d all die of boredom and political correctness.  That’s not what this argument is about.  

          Well, that’s my 2c worth.  It may bite me on the bum, but I’m willing to risk it.

          • Sally James

            Hi Bec,
            Like I said in my comment. I totally agree with Mrs Woog. Those comments about her on the SMH site and about Chrissie and her family are terrible. No argument from me about that. I am also at a loss to understand what makes people do that to another person.
            I was just trying to draw a point that we all do it to some extent. I laugh at what Mrs Woog writes about North Shore mums, but if you stop and think about it ,what we are doing when we laugh at a stereotype is we are making a judgement about how someone, looks, acts, dresses etc. The way it is done here is all tongue in cheek and for the most part harmless, but where do you draw the line?
            When does it cross over to just being mean? Why do we need to do it? If we all just “have a bit of fun” at the expense of one section of society are we not just the thin edge of the wedge?
            Are we breaking ground so to speak for the nastier people to come up behind us and put the knife in a bit further? After all we made the first cut didn’t we?
             I am not trying to change anyone’s mind and I am not picking on Mrs Woog and what she writes. Like I said I am guilty of it as well. I am just thinking out loud about how we all contribute in a small way to making it acceptable.
            I don’t think you can change the way people are, but we are all able to change what we do and how we react and our part in the online world. JMO. xo
             

  • Melissa Pridham

    Just read some of the SMH comments. Vile. You write well & give people a laugh. What’s the problem? I think you made the right decision re. the tv spot but please don’t let them silence you! Obviously your followers adore you. Bugger the rest.

  • http://twitter.com/alexricia Alex

    Mrs Woog, I cannot believe some of those comments that appeared in the SMH article. Who are these people? Why the hell do they think only other mothers read your blog? I am not a mother and I drop by most days for a laugh. Importantly, why do they think the blogging world is clickey? Are they part of it? Have they tried to become part of it? And as I understand it, you do not go via Mrs Woog to protect your identity but rather because Mrs Woog IS an identity… maybe I am wrong but that’s always the way I have read Woogsworld.

    Blogging and tweeting have opened up a world to me that I may not have otherwise known. I have only a teeny tiny barely existent corner of the Internet and I am stoked to have that corner and always disappointed when I have to witness the *other side* of the Internet.

    I love Chrissie too, how gorgeous is that photo? Keep doing what you’re doing Mrs Woog, we love your stories!

  • Kruppy

    Nicely written Woogsy. Viva le speech de female!

  • A Farmer’s Wife

    I think the more successful you get, the more people will have a crack. Someone out there is always going to disagree and it is easy when hiding behind a keyboard to let the vitriole run free. There is a difference between politely expressing a different opinion and just being abusive and disrespectful.

    I think that what goes around comes around. At the very least the trolls will wind up with ugly wrinkles from all that hate!

    Keep in mind the old quote “Success is the best revenge.”. And you, Mrs Woog, are one hell of a success.

    Take care.

  • http://twitter.com/tinysavages Carli | Tiny Savages

    I read an article recently by a journalist who was the victim of one troll in particular.  I wish I had the link but the paper ended up inviting him into the offices for a tour.  He literally had no idea how offensive he had come across, he was genuinely surprised when confronted.  I think it’s so easy to forget there is flesh and blood behind a computer screen and it helps me to keep this in mind when a comment upsets me.  It still doesn’t excuse rude behaviour or address this prevalence of misogyny that seems to be rearing its ugly head but I’ll end up writing a post if I go into that x

  • Natalie Dinsdale

    Totally agree with you Mrs Woog! I thought the article in the SMH was great and I also saw the article on Chrissy who I think is fantastic. It does feel like a boys club out there and I am always saddened by other women who seek to take others down rather than support us! Stay strong and write what you think and feel. After all that is why we all read your blogg – we want to know what you are thinking as we relate to it. Keep going!! 

  • Tessathetealady

    Wow, I hadn’t read the reactions in SMH after the Mummy Bloggers article was published but just went back to read them now. I was blown away by the comments on there, and I think that all of these people who write nasty comments will always be around to tear down anybody doing something different to what they are used to. I find that when I listen to a ‘certain’ radio station I become heated and nasty and when i change the channel I cool down and take in the more informative and important parts of life rather than just listening to the constant whinging of others. So to all those people out there carrying on like it’s high school again, change the channel. You don’t need to read blogs if you don’t want to, nobody’s making you. I quite enjoy reading things on blogs, it’s like going to playgroup and realising that other people are going through the same experiences that you are. (and before someone asks, yes I do get out and attend playgroup) but some people may not be the type of person who can attend these kinds of things and i’d say they are benefiting from reading blogs that are humorous, encouraging, or informative. There is not much difference to Kaz Cook publishing a humours book on parenting and parenting blogs, except the way that they are delivered to the public. And as for blaming the demise of society on blogs, I think that’s a bit of a stretch. Way to go Mrs Woog, you entertain me! Keep it coming!

  • Benison O’Reilly

    I was talking to my brother about this. He used to be political minder  & was planning a political career himself until he came to his senses. One of his duties was to read the hate emails and letters (including the occasional death threat)  his boss (a Federal Minister) received every single day. He said to me,’ if you going to put you head above the parapet expect to get shot’. Think of poor Julia Gillard.  If we don’t express our opinions for fear of copping abuse the nasties have won. Keep up the good fight xx

  • Caro

    I think Eden got this in one.  It’s the people who are too afraid to have an open and honest voice that tend to criticise and belittle those who do.  Fear and jealousy can be such destructive emotions.  And as Cate Bolt said, just ignore them.  If you take the oxygen away from the fire, the fire goes out. xx

  • TheSparrow

    Oh you’re fabulous Mrs Woog, love your blogs and look forward to them in my inbox every day.  Always gives me a laugh. Don’t let the haters get you down, I reckon there are people who do nothing but site behind their keyboards and spew out hate every day on every blog they can find.  And all those people who have written here that you take the piss out of a certain segment of society (including yourself and your husband), YES YES YES!!  That’s the point, that’s why you’re funny, don’t ever go PC on us please. If Sally James is offended I suggest she resist the temptation to read you – if she can!

  • Little Cottage Big Life
  • http://www.zigazag.com/ Johanna

    It’s a sad fact that trolls and haters can lurk anonymously behind their computer screens and cause unfounded emotional damage. It’s also sad that strong women with insightful opinions are vindicated for putting their points of view across, after all we are meant to live in a democracy.

    Perhaps, at the end of the day, blogging is no different to politics or showbusiness  – bloggers put themselves forward, sometimes as a voice for the people who follow them, and some of them become successful and feted, so there will always be people wanting to take them down for daring to have an opinion, or they will be denigrated for becoming famous.

    No way do I condone hateful and destructive behaviour, but I don’t think it’s just a symptom of the blogosphere, because I think it runs much deeper into the core of our society, and Australian society in particular where the disparaging idea of ‘Tall Poppies’ is alive and well.

    “Off with their heads,” and all!

    Bah, Humbugs!

    Changing the current status quo of society can only be done in tiny increments, block by block. And my goodness where would you start? It’s a messed up world out there.

     For the time being I’d say that opinionated women and successful bloggers should adopt the principal of “Those that mind don’t matter and those that matter don’t mind’ and apply it across the board.

    Put on you battle make-up Mrs Woog, be kind and generous of spirit (but not too blatently honest) and get out there on TV for the world to see.

  • johnnychalmers

    Have to agree with Sally James – some of the generalisations in this comment thread (ie Silly Mummy) are almost as sad as the critical comments to Chrissie. But despite respect for Tracy Grimshaw (who obviously pushed to editorialise on this subject post segment tonight) I fell off my chair laughing at the thought of A Current Affair offering a moral high ground on anything at all –  they waived the right to that years ago. And would it be cynical to point out the shared lineage of ACP Magazines/ AWW and Channel 9 which forever advertorialises itself these days, even every other week using one of its segments on the once sacred 60 Minutes? And what about this for a thought? It’s the same cultural freedom that allows social media commentary to air uncensored as that which bore us reality TV and allowed Chrissie to rise to stardom and enter our lives in the first place. And here’s to that!

  • sleepydumpling

    As a highly visible fat woman, I too know what it is like to be on the receiving end of this kind of hate.  I’m really, really honoured to have had my story featured in the same issue as Chrissie.  But I cannot read the comments on the online versions of either my story or Chrissie’s, because they are just so full of the most vitriolic hate, the most vile nastiness that I feel physically sick.  Chrissie is an amazing woman.  I have strong self esteem.  But what about all the fat women who don’t have the tools that Chrissie and I do, the strong self esteem, the supportive loved ones, the confidence and the solid “screw you” vibe?

    What happens to them when they read this vitriol in the comments of stories like ours?

    I can tell you what happens to them.  They harm themselves.  They damage their bodies with desperate attempts to be something completely pointless – thin.  They deny themselves love, family, fun, joy, career, happiness.  They literally harm themselves, with eating disorders and other methods of self harm.  Some of them even take their own lives because they cannot cope with that hate leveled at them.

    I know, because I used to be that woman myself.

  • http://www.goodgollyholly.com/ Good Golly Miss Holly!

    There’s a difference between having an opinion and sharing it tactfully, and just being an absolute asshat. It seems like many people out there didn’t get that memo. THAT is what grinds my gears x

  • Dannie Wallace

    Yep you made the right choice to cancel :-) I adore Chrissie Swan !
    I agree with Cate fuck em all lol… if you have nothing nice to say shut your darn troll mouth and keep it shut!

  • Catherine

    You are brilliant Mrs Woog. A bright crazy shining hilarious honest star in the media world. Who cares if you are a Mummy Blogger? Is that a defining title for life?
    Be strong, learn from this episode & soldier on. You make me laugh, and think, every day. For that I truly thank you.

  • Luc

    Mrs Woog, you bring a smile to my face everyday. I am a professional writer, and I love love love your work. Don’t let the idiots get you down.  You’ve created an amazing little world here, and I for one feel privileged to share in it.

  • http://semanticallydriven.com/ Jen

    I just don’t get some people. But the people being hated on could just monetise it like Heather Armstrong from dooce.com did, http://dooce.com/hate/.

  • Cathg1g2

    Spot on about everything Mrs Woog and I thought I had to be a champion for myself and  for my two teen daughters but I have to be champion for humanity, well try to be, that’s what you are already with your great writing and actions.

  • http://www.segoviadreams.blogspot.com/ Suz

    I can’t believe people do this. I just can’t. I often don’t like what our society has become and the way it treats people who put their heads up or people who are different. It makes me so sad and just a bit fearful for the way my little boy (5 with autism) will be treated for being different or quirky or hell, even just for being himself. I know I have some work to do to help him toughen up. Keep going Mrs Woog xo

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03395454257023289058 SarahMac

    I have just discovered you. You are a scream. So effed that the haters have got to you too. Stupid effers. Don’t let it get you down. I don’t know what is wrong with people.

  • http://www.mrsnotable.com.au/ Louisa | Mrs Notable

    sad, I’ve recently been attacked with a triade of abuse from someone I thought more of, her parting words were “are you too cool for school?” The irony is hysterical.  I will not be a victim of abuse from small minded people, I will continue to try and do better than I did yesterday. I’m kind, thoughtful and I will not let the words of others hurt me, too much. 

  • Wendyinvt

    I am a 46 year old Mom of (3) 21+ year olds.  I do not blog, but I would love to one day. I would love to  let all the current “mom bloggers” know what it was like in the good ole days before this whole thing blew up on the internet.  We didn’t have to deal with nasty people in writing or even to our faces.  It so totally sucks that there are those people out there that feel the need to disparage those who are just trying to do their best in everyday life.  It so sucks that this is what we have come to in this day and age of technology.
    Hugs to you and yours.  Keep on keeping on, and do what you feel is best for you and yours.  That is the only way you can survive in this world.
    xoxo
    Wen