You know that time that your kids are in bed and you can finally relax of an evening? It is perhaps the best part of the day if you ask me. Last night I was reclining in the usual style on the couch. Mr Woog was out in the garage talking to his motorbike while I flicked around, trying to find something to watch.
I heard footsteps coming down the hall which is an event that occurs a dozen times a night, as one of the kids is always needing a drink of water, or to take a piss, or has a sore toe, or needs another kiss, or forgot to tell me something, or cannot sleep.
My son stood next to the couch and asked me a question.
“What happens if you swallow a two dollar coin?”
“Well, you die.” I replied calmly, not thinking…..
Cue hysterical wailing. Someone had swallowed a two dollar coin, it would seem.
I spent the next few minutes convincing him that he was NOT going to die and I don’t know why I said that, it was just a dumb, flippant remark that I put down to sheer exhaustion.
Because I was not deep down 100% sure that swallowing a coin would not be fatal, I Dr Googled it and the results came back extremely mixed. I asked the ever charming and beautiful Facebook crew, thinking that if even one of the ladies suggested hospital, I was going to have to do the dash.
Meanwhile, I called the hospital to find out that there was a casual 3 hour wait in Emergency.
This was all eating into my golden quiet couch time. A few people on FB said I should go to hospital and then someone suggested I call the 24 hour medical line. THERE IS SUCH A THING?
I called it, and immediately got onto Julie, a registered nurse who gave my son an over the phone assessment and got him to so a few little tasks, each more puzzling that the last. Walk in a straight line? Check. Cough? Check. Eat a small piece of bread? Check. Drink some water? Check.
It was concluded that he had not choked and that the money would most probably sitting in his stomach at present. She gave me some clear instructions, which involved a potty and a fork. Julie was just about the most delightful person I had encountered ever, even when delivering me the most revolting of tasks.
So this weekend is expected to be a heatwave, not the most ideal of conditions to be digging through shit.
You can call Julie on 1800 022 222