Morning Challenges.

It was a 3 cup of coffee kind of a morning around these parts as the offspring threw challenges at me, and I batted them back with a vengeance.

Oh dear sweet caffeine! Is there anything you cannot assist me with? Clarity of thought. Instant energy. That feeling you get when you have 3 x espresso. I think they call it heart palpitations.

I broke the morning up into manageable chunks.

First up I had to seek out the gold, sequined vest that Jack has to wear today as part of some huge big dancing spectacular. This high big dancing spectacular has been all-consuming this week. With performances all over the shop, and an audition for some royal gala-type performance at the Opera House at the end of the year. It is a hard business, being a dance mum. At least with rugby, there is a bar involved.

If I never hear J-Lo’s LET”S GET LOUD again, I would be ok with that….

Vest was located. Another coffee was made.

Screen Shot 2014-06-26 at 8.26.25 AM

Which was all very well and good, because then the big one ambled over to me, shoulder barged me and grunted….

“Do we have any coloured hairspray. It is crazy hair day today.”

And because I am not in the habit of buying coloured hairspray on a regular basis. I had to put my thinking hat on. And fast.

Horatio does not have much hair, but with my caffeine filled brain, I managed to come up with a solution to our problem.

Screen Shot 2014-06-26 at 8.26.40 AM

I looked at that photo and thought “FUCK ARE THEY NITS?” But never fear. It is just a bucket of hairspray.

Oh looming bands! Is there anything you can’t do?

A morning running on adrenaline can tire a mum when the kids leave the house and you are left in silence. With your heart palpitating and your home dusted in gold sequins and small, colourful rubber bands. Most would take to the couch with a remote, but not me. I am off to Huffy Puffy to flog myself stupid, followed by a few hours of sitting in a hall, paying for the privilege of watching a gorgeous group of kids giving all they can with jazz hands and FOSSEY FOSSEY FOSSEY type movements. You know what, I might even join them up on stage.

Considering I know every part of that dance by now.

But I am more likely to just keep it all inside….

Anyone else put any fires out lately?

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  • Mornings are the devil’s work, though I prefer tea myself! It must be end of termitis as things have been particularly fraught – I’ve lifted this next quote from my Facebook page, posted yesterday ‘Do anyone else’s kids act as though the school routine comes as a complete surprise to them every day?! You know, like we’re really going to mix it up today and I don’t know, pack our bags or something? And yes, I was young once and suffered from the same kind of goldfish mentality, but really! Is there a fairy that wipes the morning routine from their memory every night? Just wondering…’

  • jentopia

    Too funny! Talk about thinking on your feet! Love a good coffee buzz.

  • nemosmummy

    I have been called a bad ass and a bad bitch (in a good way) this week. Lord knows what I have done this week to earn such titles but it happened. I must have put out a fire somewhere I guess.

    • What goes around comes around. x

  • Cate P

    Dear Mrs Woog, How would you get through the day if not for coffee….. and wine?
    You’re a wonder, woman. 🙂

    • I top and tail my day with them. It is important to keep up your liquids. x

  • Alison – Talking Frankly

    Ahhhh you make me laugh. Thank. And enjoy the spectacular

  • Lucy

    This morning I had Lexie tell me “Mum, it’s a Possum Magic Shared Lunch Day today, can you make a Pavlova to take”……at 7.45am. WT?! She got an exasperated cuddle and a plate of hastily made Vegemite sandwiches. xx

    • Lexi and Harry should never get married. CHAOS!

  • Heidi D

    Don’t even mention nits ! For about the 5th time since the beginning of the year my daughter has brought these little friends home from school. I would love to find the parent of the child in her class that must be ignoring it & reinfecting other kids constantly. So far she hasn’t managed to share them with me……this time, but I may take to wearing a shower cap around the house just to be safe 🙂

    • Why do you think I have 4 swimming caps!

      • Heidi D

        I spoke too soon, just spent the weekend applying liberal amouts of industrial strength poison to my hair. Best not to even mention the amount of pain caused by dragging the nit comb over a head that has a large scar down one side made by the 30 staples used after surgery a couple of years ago, yep , that makes your eyes water !

  • Firstly, Jack is rocking that gold sequinned vest. Secondly, you could have combined huffy puffy with dancing on stage at the concert…two birds.. Finally, don’t you just love how kids remember those important days – crazy hair day, bring a plate day, crazy sock day – at the last minute!!!

    • THE DAYS! What is with them, Harmony day makes me the most nervous. x

  • Nicole Watson

    Ahhh This morning, up early head for kettle make coffee and guess what NO MILK, search pantry for long life milk, condensed milk any bloody white thing to put in my coffee. Find a can of whipped cream in the back of the fridge, That’ll do it!! Order tuckshop as I haven’t had a chance to do groceries this week! (Hence the milk situation) Go in to wake up kids Master 11 says he has a sore throat and needs Pandol delivered to the bed before he can put his feet on the floor!
    Master 8 says he can’t go to school because he has a cold, I have a meltdown! We are boarding a plane to your lovely state at 8 am tomorrow morning, Master 8 is competing in the National Pokémon Championships……
    Master 11 recovers after a hot shower and off to school we go, I decide not to send Mst 8 so he can rest. The down side of this is I am wearing the most hideous clothes, as anything half decent is ready to be packed. But I have to go in and let the tuckshop ladies know to cancel my online order. Then let his teacher know he won’t be at school and can Mst 11 pick up his report card etc, and also farewell her as she is moving to London minus the flowers and vegemite I intended to give her! Now washing the remaining clothes we need and dosed Mst 8 up on Dimetapp and Panadol….. At this point in time I refuse to think about tomorrow morning!

    • Nicole. You win hands down. xxx

      • Nicole Watson

        It got worse, popped into Big W to get some socks, no cash so added $50 to the self serve thingy and then head off to Woolies to get Milk, open my purse still no money!!! Left it sitting in the machine at Big W, ran, sort of, back and no it wasn’t there, someone took it…..All I can say is I hope whoever took it needed it more than me. If you hear of a midair drama tomorrow morning, please come and bail me out or deliver wine to the watch house xxx

        • Jo

          If you don’t take it by a certain time the machine apparent sucks it back in!

  • SmittenKitten

    My Mum was a legend, keeper of the notes – you could not go out to play until the bag was unpacked and inspected and put away. With 4 of us at the same school nothing got away from our Mum AND to top it off she had a crazy craft box, it would have all sorts of ribbons, glitter, coloured zinc etc. combine this with the dress up box and we were always good to go! Being a stay at home Mum we begged for Tim Tams and other processed crap – now I’d do anything for one of Mum’s home made biscuits!

    • Nothing beats home made bickies hey! Your mum sounds like a grand dame x

  • Don’t hate me but I have 2 cans of hairspray in my laundry and sprayed my girl’s hair pink this morning for her school thingee. LOVE the loom look. I hope you get it all done and are able to have a nice early night x

    • They were a bugger to get out x

  • Oh..you are GOOOD! So impressed by improvised loominess. 10/10 for fast thinking!!

    • *curtseys* Apparently there were a few others like him x

  • Megan Banks

    Mr just-turned-five was able to flounce out the door at 8:40am to kindergarten where it was dress up day. Mr JTF was in full makeup and wig, to match his “Frankie Stein” costume. I weep for the future, what shenanigans will it hold when Mr JTF is already in full “Monster High” regalia at kinder – will there be full scale productions of Moulain Rouge for dress up day at the end of Prep? Mummy is just not up to the creative tour de force that is required.

    Thankfully my daughter is quiet, scorns dress ups and is happy for her brother to carry the artistic torch.

    • He sounds like an absolute SCREAM! x

  • Firefighter mum

    Second last day of term and I have just been called in for a 5 o’clock meeting with school counsellor, tonight, oh dear, give me strength. Five o’clock! So firefighter dad can be present too. I have knocked off work early and now off to lunch to prepare mentally, may involve purchasing new shoes, coffee, perfume, coffee, lipstick, coffee, fancy undies, coffee…until said meeting. Post meeting drink will not be coffee but something stronger, to help with digesting information imparted to me.
    You are a legend Mrs Woog. I am going to channel you at 5.

    • Oh good luck! What a prick of a time for a meeting. Just send the hubs and pour yourself a wine. Hope all is ok x

      • Firefighter mum again

        Update, I smirked and rolled eyes through meeting,firefighter dad unhappy, did not disclose shopping booty prior to meeting, would have been equally innappropriate, I think I channelled your energy rather successfully. Thank you

  • That is one of the best uses of loom bands I have seen yet!!

    • Universally the most versatile thing ever made x

  • Jackielyn Powell

    love it!! caffeine is golden on days like these.

  • FOSSEY FOSSEY FOSSEY

  • I made multiple trips to the cafe downstairs to purchase said caffeine for our illustrious board members this morning. I hope they are FOSSEY FOSSEY FOSSEY-ing about their day now! (PS: I deserve a raise)

    • WHEN THEY ARE HOCKED UP, ASK THEM FOR A RAISE X

  • Dubai schools are MASSIVE fans of dress up days. We seriously have them about once a week – there’s national day, international day, green day, purple day, dress up as a book character, dress up as a community helper, dress up as a princess, etc, etc. I breath a sigh of relief when it’s just wear your uniform day. Every morning I wake to “Oh god, what special day have they got on today…” Although we’ve just started 11 weeks (count em) of school holidays. So I’m actually kinda missing dress up days….

    • …..um, did you just say 11 weeks?

      • Yep, one week down, 10 to go. And, yes, I’m counting!

    • FunMumX3

      Corinne, there is a business opportunity for you right there! A well stocked costume wardrobe and send word out to the school mums that costumes are available at 10pm the night before when sleepy kid wakes and says “I need a XXX-whatever costume for school tomorrow at 7am” before stumbling back to bed but leaving you sleepless. You could put out twitter ad the night before the events and make a SUCH a profit 🙂

  • Dinge

    As a dance mum 4 days a week plus Saturday plus frequent Sundays for 15 years +….. sorry Mrs Woog, there is a Barre involved! Want any foam curlers? I have a supply in the bathroom waiting for a good home. Hat elastic, hair nets, pins, pointe shoes…. Just consider yourself lucky to have a dancing boy!

  • Denise Mooney

    Well done on improvising with those looming bands. Pure genius I thought.

  • Susan Lattwein

    I still dream I’m wearing my bands, 25 years later. Freud would say I was stuck at
    the rubber band stage. I prefer your son’s dancing stage!

  • robyn

    Loom bands cannot be vacuumed.
    That is all

  • LOVE that hair. Will be borrowing for my daughter, crazy hair day or not.

  • Selby

    I hear you! It’s that morning at my house. Armageddon unfolded at breakfast because I unwittingly put butter on Mr fours crumpet with honey, thinking that he’d like that as that’s how he wanted it yesterday.

    How wrong I was! “I only want honey no butter I hate butter!!” He screeched. I had no willpower to fight it out at 0600 & pre first coffee of the day so…told him to go play while I sorted it.

    Heated said crumpet in microwave for a few seconds, offending butter gone from sight. Crisis averted. He told me when he came back, the crumpet was ” the best” phew!

  • Lisa Mckenzie

    You are a great Mum xx

  • Wendy

    he he he! That video was classic – love the improv crazy hair day!