Happy Saturday to you all! I am up to my nuts in packing to go away this week, so Karin has a tale for you. About bladders and Costco, two of my favourite things!
Karin is a music lover, wannabe writer, FIFO wife and Mum of two kidlettes (one currently internal and one external). You can find Karin here, talking all things on laid back mothering and lifestyle with smackings of sarcasm and humour.
Sometimes practicality should win over liberation.
That realisation that, hell yeah my legs look deceiving hot but maybe I shouldn’t be wearing 4 inch heels, for the first time in 5 years, to a garden wedding… after rain. Practical flats or a wedge may have been more fitting.
The moment of clarity when you are dragging 3 small children out of Ikea because you really wanted a new FEMMEN VAG (real Ikea product name!!) and thought a solo trip would be fine. Use the free childcare or just don’t go. Make meatballs at home.
I had a moment like this just recently.
At 34 weeks pregnant with baby number two I was a little over the limited wardrobe and short array of underwear that still fit and felt comfy.
I no longer wanted to just make do with what I had, I wanted to boost up my confidence, make myself feel a little nicer. Slap on some “power panties”, shave my legs and feel a little like some of the styled confident women I see on my Instagram feed each day.
OK, I said a little like and the key word is ‘feel’!
Shaving my legs I could easily do. Though my knee cap felt like it was about to corrode under my growing weight as I knelt down in the shower. Job done! Silky smooth.
Clothing well I was stuck with that one. Same ol’, same ol’. Black stretch maternity dress but underneath! Underneath I was bringing sexy back with a lacy number that was revealing a little extra cheek then normal and if you listen closely you can hear the elastic heaving, trying to hold it together around my hips.
What does one do with this new-found confidence?
Go to Costco!
I was out of toilet paper and now, thanks to my Costco membership, go into an internal panic if I buy anything less than 38 rolls at a time. What would be the point! I would just have to go buy more in a months time.
I rallied up my non-membership owning family members (my sister and mother) and we head down to the land of large. We stroll the aisles placing enormous non-required items in our equally enormous trolley. I am really surprised not more children are taken out by those things! They really should come with bumpers and indicators.
I walk with an air of hot stuff, knowing that under my Kmart maternity dress I am rocking some power panties and I can feel the smoothness of my freshly shaven legs. As long as I just don’t look down to see my enormous protruding belly I am feeling rather normal and singular.
Now for the land of large and plenty, Costco really lacks on the toilet front. With my low-lying baby number 2 the toilet situation is normally the first thing I scope out and Costco’s were only at the front of the store through the check-outs. Not convenient Costco, not convenient at all.
It’s a big place and the inevitable happens, I need to go to the loo. With only a few more items to pick up – a litre of Nando’s Hot Sauce and Duggar’s family size mozzarella pizza – I thought I could just move slower and push on through and I could have…
Until I sneezed…
Practical pregnant lady attire is prepared for this.
Practical pregnant lady attire provides a little support.
Liberated pregnant lady attire is less safety net, more fish-net stocking and we know nothing good is caught in those!
I was rocking that confidence and was a red-hot Mama! But maybe for the god of all things practical, I will surrender to the big girl panties for just a little bit longer and slip in a panty liner just for good measure!