What truly tests your marriage + BONUS RECIPE!

I am here to tell you NOTHING will test the strength of a marriage like the death of a major appliance. On Saturday morning we called the time of death of our much-loved and  cherished dishwasher. A quick trip to the Good Guys found her replacement. But they would not take the old one away unless it was “unplumbed”. Mr. Woog, who is not a plumber, got about with his bag and his hat and his wrench and proceeded to flood the entire kitchen with fest, stagnant, food laced grey water. I used EVERY SINGLE TOWEL IN THE HOUSE to mop up the mess,

But the best was yet to come.

The new one turned up and while we let the kitchen dry out a bit, I handed him the instructions to install it, and he tossed it aside like yesterdays news.

What ensued was a very tense situation. He got into the space in the kitchen, tinkered around a bit before the taps kind of exploded, drenching my beloved, myself and everything else in the room.

“Grab some towels!” He yelled at me and I yelled back that there were none because they were all dripping on the line. With festy water. And then we said some very, very unpleasant and unwarranted things to each other before I stormed out. Oh what a wonderful Saturday we were having! AND to make it more interesting and tension filled, we were hosting a dinner that night for ten friends. Ten fun friends who love booze and food and we had no dishwasher.

So, so far you are reading along thinking to yourself “Why do I read this fucking stupid blog?” It is true. I tend to moan and whinge a lot. But it is what it is. But as a thank you for reading along everyday, I am going to reward you with the BEST EVER POTATO BAKE which was met with rapturous applause by our guests once we explained to them why we were not speaking to each other.

Grab about eight very large potatoes. I use pontiacs as I do not enjoy peeling potatoes. Grab the casserole dish that Aunty Margaret gave you as a wedding guest and pick off the dead bits of potato from the last time you used it. Spray the bottom of it with olive oil. Slice the potatoes into

HANG ON BEFORE YOU DO ANY OF THIS TURN THE OVEN ONTO 200DEGREES.

Slice the potatoes into uniform discs of about half a centimetre. Layer then into the dish. I am a fan of a large surface area because the top of the bake is premium real estate and you want to get as much of this as possible. Then grab a large carton of cream. Into the cream, crush three cloves of garlic and a teaspoon of chicken stock powder. Shake the shit out of it and pour over your potatoes. Season with salt and peps, over it tightly with foil and put it into the blisteringly hot over for an hour. Oh and also dot it with real butter for added debauchery.

During this hour, attempt to drink a series of different beverages such as champagne, gin and tonic and white wine. After an hour, remove the foil and cover it in tasty grated cheese and whack her back in for ten minutes until the top is golden and crispy and oh my lord.

Dinner went down a treat and as our guests left, I surveyed the kitchen. I had managed to use every single dish, plate, glass and utensils that I owned. And because The Good Guys are very good in selling faulty dishwashers, I got to spend my Sunday washing up. That potato bake dish nearly ended me. I continue to soak it as I type. I now await a phone call from Dishlex so we can spend a few hours “troubleshooting” the fucking dishwasher which is always a pleasant way to spend a Monday.

Should potatoes bake be our national dish?

What is something that triggers conflict at your joint?

 

 

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  • thanks for the recipe! I am going to make it this week. It is AMAZING.

    And sorry we left you with so many dishes…

  • Donna

    Love the potato bake. I make it when I wish to see my teenage nephews and niece. To be sure I add bacon and spring onions.

    Things left in doorways for a busy clumsy distracted mum to trip on drive me crazy. Karma did visit the other day when child stood on Lego.

  • Heidi D

    Our dishwasher died last year. After already having the handle snap off it final gave up completely after being banged shut with a 14 year olds bum one too many times. We had to remove it, which went remarkably well. Then the new one arrived & we played the ” let’s install an appliance without bloodshed” game. Of course the holes in the cabinet wall that allowed the machine to reach the undersink taps & powerpoint were too small for the new fitting to go through. My husband was too big to fit under the sink shelf. So I had to crunch up holding a torch under a shelf as he tried to bash lumps out of the wood with a hammer & chisel to enlarge the hole. As you may have gathered DIY is not our strong point & we own a minimal amount of tools of which basically nothing fitted into the tiny work space. Somehow we managed…….eventually ! The fact that we were still speaking at the end of that performance is an absolute miracle.
    That potato bake looks amazing & I will have to give the recipe a try. I love a good potato bake.

  • Maggie

    Serious hoarding triggers serious conflict in my house (I am not the guilty party). I would have thought it was your landlord’s responsibility for the dishwasher but I live in Qld and the rules may be different. Perhaps you can send them the bill for your counselling sessions! Your potato bake sounds delish and will definitely be getting a run once the weather cools down (whenever that is!!! Again I live in Qld and it is still in the 30’s up here during the day).

  • Maria Ledwidge

    Triggers? The assumption that I know where everything is in this house

  • Ali

    New washing machine broke on Sunday & a combination of being hungover and a number of guests joining us this week led to slammed doors and no words spoken for about eight hours. Luckily I had much Netflix to catch up on! We also used nearly every towel in the house mopping up dirty water – which I now cannot wash. Maybe I can entice my lovely MIL to wash them with promise of a delicious potate bake…….

  • Oh I do not envy you! Conflict around here is started over things like my husband messing with my stuff in the name of “tidying up” aka “making another mess by just shifting it from one place to another and now nobody knows what’s where”, which results in me making angry accusations and him playing dumb! I could roll my eyes for days when that happens!

  • Georgie Williams

    Triggers….where do I start? Money is always the most contemptuous issue, as I’m sure it is with most marriages. Parenting – I have two older children of 21 and 12 and have been with my husband for 10 years and we share an 8 yr old. I try to always be open minded but do not treat me as if this is my first rodeo. Me not working – I am doing my degree that I have never ever had the chance to do and work only very casually. This is not by choice – as a mother of three with 15 ears management experience whom has been out of the work force for a few years now, I have recently discovered that said woman can get no job at all without said degree. This of course goes back around to the money trigger that restarts the whole viscous cycle. Just for extra measure, throw in an extra dose of my husband feeling completely out of control of all of above which then triggers anxiety in him. ‘Through good and bad, sickness and in health….’

  • Jane

    I flatly refuse to help with these things as I know exactly where it will lead and who will get blamed for anything that goes wrong. (this is also why we bought the renovation, we’d have been divorced by the time we finished doing one ourselves)

  • Noelene

    Since we are talking recipes we had you sticky lamb shanks last night, to die for, so yum even fussy 21 year old said good and hubby so you go Mrs W✨❤️?

  • Kate

    Yum that potato bake sounds good, must buy some cream so I can make it.

    Fortunately we do not have much conflict in our house, however when there is it is usually because I am a soft touch and let our 4 year old get away with much more than his other mum does. Also being exhausted parents of a newborn and a 4 year old can lead to some tense situations.

    And let’s not forget the mexican stand off when the bins are overflowing.

  • Jen I

    We’re having some Japanese exchange students stay this week, so of course I was thinking roast lamb and I promised my kids we would get these little frozen individual potato bake things from Aldi (the ones with spinach and riccota are best). But now I’m thinking I could just do a potato bake myself. That recipe looks a little too easy. Are you sure?

    • I never lie about potato bakes

      • Jen I

        So I did the potato bake just as you instructed (only I peeled the potatoes and I don’t even know what kind of potatoes they were), and it was a major hit! The Japanese students voted it one of the best things they ate all week, and it really was as easy as you said. There were no left overs and duly warned I bunged the pan straight into the sink for a good soak after dinner and the kids washed it up because I said if they didn’t I would be to tired to ever make it again. Thanks Mrs Woog!

  • I am Elliott Early and he is Ponsford Punctual – read always fucking late! If I had a penny for every minute I have spent waiting for him, well I could but myself a small Pacific island. Yep I drive him mad cos I am always early and he does his best, Oh Well. Hope the disher gets sorted very quickly.

  • Tamarra

    Love potato bake, but agree soaking crusty potato for 3 days in the laundry sink is no good. You need to buy the disposable alfoil tins, l usually get them at woolies in the BBQ section, or last time I was at bunnings(!!) they had a ginormous stack of foil tins for $10. When potato bake is demolished you fold up the tin and bin it. Game-changer. And I Promise that your guests won’t mind you didn’t use a $209 le creuset dish.

  • Tracey

    OMG I thought it was just me who hated peeling potatoes!

  • Naomi Mann

    “Why do I read this fucking stupid blog?” for those comments! I don’t want to read about how to simplify and cleanse my life, I always come away feeling inferior. I want to feel comforted knowing that other people live as I do. Swearing and drinking and making a mess but hopefully having fun nonetheless