Assholes and Opinions

Be still my beating ovaries…..

When I think of the US Federal election, there is one word that drifts out of the cloud of contentious issues. It is the one thing I will remember from the campaign.

Abortion.

For it is this topic that has repeatedly been the focus of many of the reports and debates coming out of the campaigning. Mainly because of stupid things that conservative, God-fearing, middle-aged white men are saying.

I saw this once on Twitter, and I had to smile.

Everybody has an opinion. And we all feel the need to share it with anyone that may raise an eyebrow our way. It is human nature to tell others of our thoughts and experiences, but is it helpful?

Basically whatever you are doing, you are doing it wrong. According to someone.

Last week, I was asked to appear on a late night radio show to share my opinion about woman having children over the age of 40. By the time I got the call, I had already taken my bra off for the night, which is a shame because I had PLENTY to say about it.

Mainly, who the hell cares!

Do you think want-to-be mothers need a group of people, who do not know them personally, or know nothing about their circumstances, to sit there are pass judgment on them? The coulda/woulda/shoulda crew who are so smug in the choices that they themselves have made, casting dispersions on those who have, whether by design on not, left this particular decision until later in life?

Who cares.

Me? Naive? Perhaps. But I think armed with the facts and given support, these older Mums have the intelligence and capabilities to make their own decisions without fear of public scorn or ridicule.

And while I am at it, here are some other things that I just do not care about.

I don’t care if you change your name when you get married. You do not have to justify why you did or didn’t do it. It is your name. Nothing to do with me. Just let me know if you get a new email address.

I don’t care if you breastfeed your kids or not. As long as they get fed and loved.

I don’t need to hear any justifications about going back to work, or staying at home. As long as you are happy, then that is great.

Your money doesn’t impress me. I just don’t care about your financial situation and all of your stuff. Don’t need to know.

But what I do care about is the widening gap between the rich and the poor in our country. I care about the miss-representation of women in the media. I worry about advertising creating artificial needs. I think about my kids and the world they are growing up in.

I want to know about your great new job, or something exciting that is happening to you. I want to know if you are suffering or worried about something. You know, the stuff that matters.

The difference between opinions and advice is clear.

If someone asks you for both, then that is an invitation to share. But time and time again, opinions can come at you like a swift dose of gastroenteritis, ready hit you and hurt you when you are not expecting it. Something that I have learnt is that no matter the exchange over the “opinion”, you are rarely going to change someone’s mind.

That is where you need to take the stance of nodding gently, with your head tilted ever so slightly, until the opinionated has finished lecturing you on the stupid choices you have made.

Then, like a cerebral etch-a-sketch, shake it off and clear your mind.

Over 40 and want to have a baby? I wish you all the joy in the world. And for the record, I don’t mind whether you have a vaginal birth or an elective cesarean. The shit I read about Bec Judd’s trolling about her birth experience this week made my neck itch.

Do you agree that we are all concerned about others stuff too much?

Are you OVAH other peoples opinions of your life?

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  • Heidi D

    I think opinions are very much like bums, we all have one but we don’t need to wave it in everyones face uninvited 😉 I am very aware that my opinions may be very different from someone elses. I am also equally aware that how someone else chooses to live their life is absolutely none of my business. Have your baby whenever you want to/can, push it out or have it pulled out of the sunroof, feed it with a boob or a bottle …… the list of choices goes on & on & they are exactly that, choices, that each person makes for themselves. The only time anyone should be sticking their nose into anyone elses choices is if they see something obviously dangerous or abusive that needs addressing. Then feel free to share your concerns with someone with the relevent skills/authority to help.

  • Vicki

    Thank you, once again you have stated it perfectly. Not only should you have the right to be yourself, but guess what, so does everybody else. Have a wonderful day.

  • Bee

    well said Mrs W

  • Donna

    I missed all the drama. Lucky as I’m over 40 and had both kids via cesarean. I go out of my way to avoid social media and hence duck a lot of other people’s shit. Because that’s what is is.

  • Jess Davis

    I think you are correct, I’m tired of the opinions, what irks me though is when celebs opinions merge into advice which is what Bec Judd did. Just because you’ve backed out a couple of kids doesn’t make you an obstetrician, and don’t get me started on Pete Evans or the I quit sugar woman 😤

  • Liz

    ‘Like a Cerebral etch-a-sketch, shake it off and clear your mind.’ That has made my day Mrs Woog, so many situations and people that I need to apply that to. Thank you!

  • Renae

    Something exciting that is happening to me is that I’m having my fourth baby in 5 weeks and I can’t wait! After having 3 healthy beautiful children we decided to have another one and the backlash and opinions when I announced my pregnancy went flying. Even though it disappointed me a little at the time, my husband and I know that it’s none of anyone else’s business and all that matters is that this baby is going to be loved and adored. To hell with what others think.

    • Oh how wonderful! ❤️❤️❤️

  • Ilivewithcoeliacs

    I like the concept of intelligent discussion . eg. Breastfeeding is encouraged and is clearly what is intended for human infants BUT this isn’t always possible OR preferred. Know the science, have access to assistance if required/desired, get on with feeding your baby. Don’t shut down the discussions for fear of offending, just understand the boundaries. Same for changing your name. I don’t think it’s wrong to have discussions about why it happens, what it means in terms of personhood and in broader terms, equality, but understand the boundaries. Religion: same. Politics: same. Abortion: same. There’s always a time and a place for differing opinions, but know/choose the audience, understand the sensitivities and be respectful.

  • “Something that I have learnt is that no matter the exchange over the “opinion”, you are rarely going to change someone’s mind.” Yes!

    There’s so often little point in saying anything or engaging at all… also I am not keen to discuss in depth things I don’t know much about… and that’s almost everything at this stage in my life. I’m happy to give my opinions about the cafes of Orange, or fun stuff in Sydneyw ith kids… but I never spend enough time on anything else to have a great grasp.

    Nod and smile, nod and smile…. and move on. I’m so with ya.