How to lose thirty kilograms

Me and my mate Angela Mollard. I am about 110kg’s here. A very good paddock indeed.

I kind of almost hate myself for this post, which is so, so stupid. You see, in the last twelve months, I have lost thirty kilos.

“How did you do it?”

“Did you follow a special diet?”

“Green smoothies?”

The diet that kick started me was one full of grief. The Grief Diet. I do not recommend it at all. To see one of the most beloved people in my life die in front of me, well it wasn’t the best way to start. It shattered me so much. I remember the funeral director taking him away on a trolly, in a bag, while I sat on the front verandah of my parents place and howled, raw, gut wrenching sobs that I didn’t know I had in me.

The weeks that followed were spent trying to get through the days. I just needed that day to be over, and the next to be over, and then the next. I was not living at all. I was existing just to get to the next day. My anxiety was high, my friends, and for the first time I felt the howl of the black dog in the distance. I was a crap person in all aspects of my life. A crap mother, a crap wife and a super crappy friend. I didn’t leave the house, hardly at all, for those weeks. I watched stupid television shows and ate Kit Kats. Yes, The Kardashians and Kit Kats were my medication.

And then one day, I was on the phone to my writing mentor. We were talking about my anxiety when she commented, “It is all in your head….”

Of course it was fucking all in my head! This I knew to be true. But as I wallowed and ate and cried and looked out the window, deep down I knew I was not doing myself any favours. So instead of waking up every morning to the impending sense of doom that I had trained my brain to default to, I got up, I got dressed and I got out.

And I know that I appear quite contrite, and life is not that easy and mindsets are hard to change, but over the past twelve months, I have healed myself both on the inside and out.

Look, I am not one who naturally yearns for exercise, but I made it my priority to prioritise my twice weekly workouts with my Trainer to the mildly reluctant. I realised that I was eating far too much without even thinking about it. Just shovelling it all in until I couldn’t do up my pants. I carried around a fuck tonne of hair on my head. That was the first thing to go. My mask was off.

Here is me and my mate and my hair and my 30 kilos. With my eyes shut of course…

The grief diet is the last diet that I would recommend you going on. In fact, I think ALL DIETS ARE STUPID! I do not believe that you should deprive yourself of anything. Hey, I have never met a schnitzel I didn’t like. But I knew that self medicating with food and television was making the situation worse for my poor brain.

So I walked away from my grief. Like literally. I walked miles and miles. And I would walk 500 miles etc, etc, etc. My poor little dog. Not only would I walk, I would greet everyone who crossed my path with a salutaion.

“Good morning!”

“Lovely day!”

“Your garden is looking lovely!”

For some reason these small interactions make me smile. Walking and breathing and taking in the surrounds, well it slowly took over the Kit Kat cravings. Just this weekend gone, I culled my wardrobe of all my large clothes. Again, cathartic and freeing. I now have a bagful of size 22 clothes in the back of my car, which will not doubt be there for months to come.

This morning I got up and I got dressed. For the first time in a few months I jumped on the scales to discover 30 kilograms had melted from my existence. But even more important, far far more significant, is that my mind is also 30 kilograms lighter. I walked Jack to school with my little dog before going to the cafe for a takeaway coffee.

“I like your shirt” The owner said. “You know what I like about you?”

I was almost to frightened to ask….

“You are just so comfortable being you…”

And for the first time in a long time, I felt ok too.

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  • The haircut was a sensational change. I’m glad other changes are having a positive impact on you too. Walk on.

  • Well done. For getting past the grief and wallowing and moving on. I started using food in an unhealthy way over 30years ago – to deal with anger and sadness predominantly and still haven’t moved past it! x

  • Great final pic! Very glad that you have turned a corner. Fake it til you can make it? I reckon you must be almost there.

  • Heidi D

    you are looking amazing & so glad to hear that you are starting to feel a bit better too. Just sad that the kick start had to be such a horrible one

    • Yes I know but we are getting there xx

  • Zoe

    So inspiring. All written down it sounds easy, but the day to day “just doing it” is mentally really hard. It’s a fantastic achievement!

    • Get up, get dressed and get out!

  • Cheekie

    You are f@&kin awesome!
    Thanks for your honesty

  • DAMN if that just isn’t the most inspiring and real post I’ve read in ages. You bloody legend – RESPECT. xxxx

  • Wendy

    Definitely not an ideal start but a great finish – that is if you are done! I also hate diets and know i need to move more – maybe I need a little dog that likes to walk!

  • I’m so glad you found your way out the other side. Well played Mrs Woog. xx

  • Janice

    Well done you!! Fantastic!! Maybe that was your stepdads gift to you. 😘

    • That’s a really nice way to think about it x

  • Love this so hard. You really are amazing x

  • Lois

    Mrs Woog I’ve lost 20kg in two years by NOT dieting. A combination of health issues (cancer, hypertension, atherosclerosis- I was a stroke and heart attack waiting to happen) saw me asking the doctor for a health plan and referrals to a dietician and sports physiologist. I committed to walking 30 minutes a day and keeping the eating programme set by the dietitian. I ate far more than I used to but the weight dropped off. I avoided the scales but committed to meeting the eating and exercise goals. I’ve never been a runner but tried to improve my times for doing the walk- which was about 2 1/2km. I was getting up at 5am to do my walk and exercises and the advantage of this is there was no one to see me or mock me. The first time I ran it was for 20 metres as part of my walk. I then tried to start running a bit sooner and stop a bit later each time I went for my walk. Eventually I could run the whole way. I kept increasing my goals and unbelievably ran a half marathon last year. Getting out and doing something everyday is now an integral part of my day. My advice for anyone is to decide on a small change but commit totally and then go on from there. Well done to you and everyone who is doing their best!

    • That’s amazing! Well done for looking after yourself. X

  • Emma

    GO YOU! That is most impressive!

  • Wembly

    I really appreciate your sharing this story of grief and your caring for your body (and mind). I am struggling with a variety of issues in my life and am probably close to 110kg myself. Two nights ago, at about 12.30 am, I finished off the ice-cream, finished off the cream and fruit….all I could think was..eat…eat…eat…it’s all out of control. I am trying to address the issues in my life (2 biggies relate to caring for two other people), but my self care is out the window. I might take a leaf out of your book, get up, get dressed and go out. That could be a first step. Love ya work!!

    • You will start when you are ready and you will know when that time comes xx

  • Nicky Perry

    It is no coincidence… It is making the every day connections – there is research that shows social interaction can help us live healthier, happier, and longer lives. Plus walking/exercise can decrease anxiety and rumination. I’ve just been researching this today in a submission my biz is making to the Ministry of Health here in NZ on Mental Health!!! Go you!

    • Thanks Nicky! It is true about those little interactions x

  • Weigh to go Mrs W. The circumstances under which you lost the excess were awful but now.. well, you feel all the better for it.
    I too have lost 30+kg over 2 years and mine is a similar story to yours but my grief came about from leaving all I knew & loved behind when we retired & moved from Sydney. Throw in IBS & voila..

    For decades I gained & lost the same 18-20kg. Then I stopped dieting in early 2000s.

    What I know now though is how much I “used” to eat for self-soothing but when we moved & life as I knew it changed anxiety hit hard. I can’t eat when I’m anxious (& IBS arrives).

    I learned though, over time, how little I actually need to eat to “feel satiated” and how this can be any food that I know won’t upset my tummy. Therefore, it’s been a great learning lesson. And yes, I get out & about & walk too.

    I did find it hard to give away my clothes at first thinking surely this won’t last but it has, so the clothes are gone.

    My face & body have more wrinkles than I’ve ever seen before but I’m glad to have a more comfortable body as I am nearer to 70 than 65.

    Congrats again Kayte! Xxx

  • Alison

    “You are just so comfortable being you…” Oh my goodness that is the bestest compliment EVER! I love the person that gave you that compliment and I love you Mrs Woog! Good on you. You rock.

    • Such a lovely thing to hear x

  • Fabulous. What an effort. Inside and out. oxoxo

  • Lisa Heidke

    So sorry for your loss. You were beautiful a year ago and are still beautiful today. Grief takes on many forms. It’s a tough one. You look happy. Xx

  • Donna

    You are amazing. So sorry for your loss, I know it can be devastating. But you are a champion getting up and shaking it off. I call you that because i just can’t do it. It’s bloody hard, but your story has inpired me
    I will try yo get out and walk tomorrow, I really will. I will say it is so true what they say, no one ever really knows what goes on in others lives. On fb etc everything looks rosy. But it’s not and sadly society makes you feel weak if you ask for help. I have just made an app to se a psychologist after reading this. So thank you once again. X

    • Wow! Thank you for making that appointment. You are on the road! Well done xxx

  • K Clews

    Wow you’re amazing Mrs W.. so sorry for your loss and that you were in a bad way… you look so fit and fabulous 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Continue to be amazing everyday xx

    • We are all works in progress xx

  • It’s just bloody marvellous.

  • Jennifer

    Typing through tears….I am so sorry for your grief.
    I hope time will continue to heal you but not wither your memories. X

  • My grief diet was sort of enforced on me. Every time something happened while my mum was ill (stroke brought on by chemo, behaviour changes due to stroke, finding out how advanced the cancer was, learning where it had spread..) I’d have the most visceral reaction and promptly vomit my guts up. Grief is such an individual experience but also so universal. Funny. I wrote something on it a couple of years back- hope it’s okay to share with you. It still rings very true with me. http://www.handbagmafia.net/grief-like-a-hole-in-the-heart/ Take care of you, Mrs Woog xx

  • Bloody love this xx

  • Love this post! Life can be a bitch and you have made your 30kgs yours!!! Realistic and not some mad diet that everyone thinks they cannot do. You have amazinf memories and now you are mentally and physically stronger than you ever thought you could be, he is super proud that you are looking after you. You are an inspiration. I have 16kgs to lose and I have lost my mojo – I have a 4 month old but this weight is from before I got pregnant when we had 3 miscarriages – i need to let that grief go (and the chocolate habit).

  • Mermaid

    My little doggie is a great comfort when times are tough and walkies twice a day -that wouldn’t happen without him – is so good for mind and body.

    Remembering my Dad lost 5 years ago tomorrow. Doggie spent many days lying next him when he was unwell so a lovely connection to him also ❤

  • Lisa

    Love this post Kayte. Love that your mind is 30kg lighter too. Might have to try walking away too. xxx

    • Eventually it will be the cure. Take your time xxx

  • Could I love you anymore? Raw. Real. Honest. Sad. Bloody Brilliant. 😘

  • Thank you for this post. I lost my mum to a horrible disease a month ago and have a similar amount weight to lose – never met a crisis I didn’t eat my way through – but I’m determined that something positive will come of something so damn sad and awful. This post helped remind me that small changes help a lot. Time to lace up the runners…

    • You know when that time will present itself. Take that time xxx

  • Christina

    Beautiful post. He would be proud I’m sure. Good for you. Xx

  • Jess @ Thefitspirit

    Good on you! I hope this inspires someone else who is really struggling. Xxx

    • That would be amazing! I hope so too xx

  • Leisa

    and you look bloody tops! Love the tshirt too.

  • Good on you for giving yourself the time and then giving yourself what you actually need as hard as those first few days of getting off your ass would sure have been. You are looking fab Kayte. xx

  • WendyTuohy

    I love this Mrs Woog. Thanks for your openness and generosity. And how great that you feel well and happy now. x

  • Miss-B

    I don’t often comment Mrs Woog, but today I feel I must. Hats off to you for being YOU! I mean the 30kgs loss is great, but what’s greater is that you seem to feel better. That’s what really matters. I love neighbourhood chats too. We have a mens’ boarding house in our street, at first, I was a bit ‘cautious’. But, every time I went for a walk I greeted those old timers on their front porch and you know what – they’re lovely! They know my name, I know theirs and the casual conversation is nice. I love a good neighbourhood chat. We don’t seem to have enough time for our neighbours these days.

    • I totally agree. Those small connections are very important xx

  • Tracey

    Good on you Mrs Woog. You are looking well, Am I still allowed to offer champagne?

    • But of course! A gal is not a camel… x

  • Wonderful, real and wise Mrs Woog and I have no doubt your post today will help some women.

  • Alicia Geikowski

    yes I did the same thing. Lost 30 kilos now go in fun runs and am building muscle. Its just a matter of switching your head space on and off you go

    • Absolutely! Good on us Alicia xx

  • marie

    Mrs Woog kind of felt things must have been tough for you over the last year, still have loved your posts etc but did feel some sadness was there. Grief is horrible and catches you when you least expect -miss my dear Dad terribly, he died nearly 4 years ago and the tears come just writing that down ! Poor Mum is 92 and dementia has taken its toll, I feel my grieving has started before she has died. I miss her terribly. I must say you look gorgeous and can’t wait to hear you and Wendy chat tomorrow xx

    • There was an underlying level of sadness and you are very intuitaive to have picked that up xx

  • There was so much heart in this post, Mrs Woog. Anxiety took 20kg from me in my early 20s. I remember after losing the weight all these well-meaning people saying ‘you look so great’ when I felt like I was fading away in every sense of the phrase. You will be fabulous at any and every weight – so so glad to hear you are feeling more of yourself now. Thanks for sharing this. x

    • Love your honesty too Andrea xx

  • Brigid

    you are amazing. you are proof there are no mountains too high or rivers to wide, nor a schnitzel too tasty that you can’t just change your mindest and move your arse off the couch and walk…and walk… Go girl xx

    • Thanks lovely. It means a lot xx

  • Kel

    Mrs Woog, you’re amazing. Because you inhabit your skin and you share stories and you’re honest. This particular diet had the opposite affect on me. It wasn’t until I turned my grief into a kind of hand shoving me forwards that I was able to use it to any positive means. And yes, then I walked. And walked and walked. Because at the end of it all, there’s still your feet. Hopefully. Big love. xxx

    • Oh mate you have done so well. Loved watching your transformation xxx

      • Kel

        Thanks lovely. And ditto. From the fire and all that phoenix shit xx