My kids are never leaving home

circa 2011 The news dropped yesterday that penalty rates will be slashed come July 1 and my first thought was "My kids are never going to leave home." A lot of parents get upset when they become empty nesters, but not me! The washing alone gives me the silver lining of anticipation. And the bog roll bill will be slashed! My mate Joe Hildebrand … [Read more...]

To the Victor Goes The Spoils and the key to the school

It was an unprecedented crowd who gathered in the staffroom of our local primary school last night, to witness and take part in the vote for the Parents & Citizens Office holders. Word on the street was that our beloved President, and a dear friend of mine, was being contested by a fella whom I have to admit, I did not know. I found a seat next … [Read more...]

Where Crap tends to Congregate

There are two designated crap traps in Chateau De Woog. These are the places where like attracts like in the attempt to clutter the fuck out of the joint. The first dumping ground is at the back door. It is this entrance that everyone uses when they come in from their daily activities. Here you will find shoes, keys, bags, lunch boxes, bits of … [Read more...]

Clancy of the Overwhelmed

Is it just me, or is there an impending sense of over-whelmness out there in the universe? The past week or two, I am feeling like an ATM Machine. I got the mother of all energy bills due to the excessive use of air-conditioning and with all the sports fees hitting me on one day, I looked at it and went FERK. And then you have to go and get new … [Read more...]

How to stay Cool

So, today you basically cannot turn on the news unless you want to know that we are all going to perish in the heat. Yes, it is hot and yes, we are talking about the weather AGAIN and yes, I am shacked up in my tiny, dark house dreading the fact that I have some errands to run at some point. Fucking errands. Like an RTA situation, and the butcher. … [Read more...]

Why it is not Cool to be Conservative

There she goers. Off on a political rant again. Just who does she think she is? Ahem.... *clears throat, smoothes out her pinafore. Makes the bed and irons her husbands shirt... AND GO* Jesus Christ on a Cracker! So I am very disillusioned in Australian Politics right now, and have been for years. What a total clusterfuck the parliament has … [Read more...]

You Can’t Come to My Party

Horatio's Third Birthday Party At the age of three, and four now that I think about it, my oldest son Horatio discovered his social currency. His Birthday Party. An invitation to this always simple affair was a hot ticket. For as soon as he learnt to talk, he became a mini tyrant. It lasted for about 24 months. It first flagged itself when we … [Read more...]

That time I got a free Sunny Boy! (and I still think about it 37 years later)

Much discussion in the mainstream media this week about the heat wave and how it is coinciding with the kiddos going back to school. Half of the public schools in Western Sydney, the hottest place generally in the Sydney Basin, have no means to cool their classrooms. I can only imagine what it is like in scorching country towns. Having been a … [Read more...]

I am breaking up with you

Like all new relationships, it starts out with butterflies in your tummy. The joy of discovering certain exciting things, spending as much time together as you can. This is the stuff that makes magic happens. Then, as time goes by, you shift into the comfortable. Things get easy as your new routine presents itself. There can be the occasional … [Read more...]

How to Sleep

Bugger me if I know, so I thought I would ask you. Remember the time that I talked about my obsession with weather? Well, the past few months I have been awaking and asking all members of my family... "Did you sleep well?" Yes, I am just that exciting. Envy me at your will. And I think my infatuation with a quality slumber is because of … [Read more...]