My name is Mrs. Woog and I am a sell out.

Recently, a lot of you (thank you kiss kiss) filled out a reader survey so I can get to know my readers a little more. I was starting to read some of the responses when the words appeared on my screen...... Heart stops. Panic attack knocks at the door. Questions ones every move... Now lets turn to Wiki for some big words... "Selling … [Read more...]

Don’t forget to press record

It has been a long time between drinks for the much adored and adhered podcast Woog & Berry! Thank you for your patience, all 6 of you. We completely cocked up the start as SOMEBODY FORGOT TO HIT RECORD but we muddle through. It is not safe for work, not safe to listen in the car of you have children on board and generally not safe at all! … [Read more...]

Assholes and Opinions

Be still my beating ovaries..... When I think of the US Federal election, there is one word that drifts out of the cloud of contentious issues. It is the one thing I will remember from the campaign. Abortion. For it is this topic that has repeatedly been the focus of many of the reports and debates coming out of the campaigning. Mainly … [Read more...]

What truly tests your marriage + BONUS RECIPE!

I am here to tell you NOTHING will test the strength of a marriage like the death of a major appliance. On Saturday morning we called the time of death of our much-loved and  cherished dishwasher. A quick trip to the Good Guys found her replacement. But they would not take the old one away unless it was "unplumbed". Mr. Woog, who is not a plumber, … [Read more...]

The time my undies tried to kill me

The year was 2003 and I was walking down the isle for the 6th time. I felt trapped and restricted, dizzy with all eyes on me. Sweat beaded upon my upper lip and I struggled to breathe. I just didn’t think I could go through with this. Again. I was a bridesmaid, being strangled by a support garment on front of a crowd of smiling family and … [Read more...]

The Monthly Report

Dear Period, I remember when I was about six I found a tampon on my Mum's dressing table and I took it to her, asking her whether it was a lolly and could I eat it. She laughed out loud before sitting me down on her bed and explained what it was and how it was used. I recall being suitably shocked, and vowed that that would NEVER happen to … [Read more...]

Not a fan of the speculum

This morning I jumped into the car to do the school drop off, when I turned on ABC Sydney radio, only to hear Wendy Harmer finish off a segment with the sentence "I am not a fan of the speculum." This made me think "Who bloody well is!" then realised that there must be more to this story. Was something happening to our dreaded duck-bill? I … [Read more...]

My kids are never leaving home

circa 2011 The news dropped yesterday that penalty rates will be slashed come July 1 and my first thought was "My kids are never going to leave home." A lot of parents get upset when they become empty nesters, but not me! The washing alone gives me the silver lining of anticipation. And the bog roll bill will be slashed! My mate Joe Hildebrand … [Read more...]

To the Victor Goes The Spoils and the key to the school

It was an unprecedented crowd who gathered in the staffroom of our local primary school last night, to witness and take part in the vote for the Parents & Citizens Office holders. Word on the street was that our beloved President, and a dear friend of mine, was being contested by a fella whom I have to admit, I did not know. I found a seat next … [Read more...]

Where Crap tends to Congregate

There are two designated crap traps in Chateau De Woog. These are the places where like attracts like in the attempt to clutter the fuck out of the joint. The first dumping ground is at the back door. It is this entrance that everyone uses when they come in from their daily activities. Here you will find shoes, keys, bags, lunch boxes, bits of … [Read more...]