And now Ms Green from the ACT.

Mrs Woog,
What makes you tick? I mean – what makes you happiest and what sends you round the bend?
Ms Green

Today the fact that both my sons are spending the night with different grandmas is making me so frickin happy I could hug strangers on the street. I am planning to investigate the bottom of a bottle of wine over a curry with Mr Woog. Although eating curry with Mr Woog is a little like feeding pigs a bucket of slops – it will still be nice. That will be followed by a lot of sex nagging on the walk home, the outcome of which will be decided by how much wine investigation took place.

Things that delight me include;
  • Our annual marriage saver trip to Bali sans kids – coming up in May – my happy place.
    Eating – especially Asian and sandwiches
  • Reading – anything newspapers, magazines, takeout menus, books, blogs, cookbooks
  • My morning coffee being bought to me in bed each day (from the cafe) by Mr Woog.
  • Spray and Wipe
  • Soft sand running.
  • When the kids bring the Guinea pig into my bed every morning @ 7am on the dot and we all have a snuggle – until the cat comes in then the whole thing turns to shit.
  • Pizza Olla
  • Thinking about how thin I am going to get when my friend has her baby.

Things that do not delight me include:

  • When Mr Woog gets up to get my coffee every morning he ALWAYS wakes me up
  • Anchovies, mayonnaise, fishy fish like salmon, blue cheese and custard.
  • Daily grind and routines – am a frustrated “am not going to work” mother biding her time to get back into the publishing business (but not at a particular establishment the rhymes with McSnore Hill)
  • The “ladies” who “serve” you at Country Road in Mosman. Boycott! Boycott!! Boycott!!
  • The seven thousand men who tried to sell me dodgy insulation – piss off.
  • Bigots, snobs, homophobes, racists, stingy and rude people – so the entire on-air presenting team from Channel 9 and the NSW Government.
  • The tool that parks across my driveway each morning – I hate you so much ZEH 387.
  • The fact that George Michael did not sing Wake me up before you Go Go last night at his concert.
  • Trying to get a cab after a concert.
  • Saying “Yes that would be GREAT!” Automatically to everything then bitching and moaning to all and sundry about it. I think they call it spreading yourself too thin – so at least I am thin one one sense.
  • The fact that I still do not have a security door and the kids recently invited 2 Mormons in, gave them a complete tour of the house then opened the bathroom door while I was taking a slash and announcing that our friends were here.

I hope Ms Green – that this has given you some insight into how Woogworld operates. Now am off for a soak in the tub in a quiet house while I can.