The Black Line

Libby Triackett is a retired swimmer who was very successful in representing Australia in recent Olympics. She has a set of teeth on her that would make a Alsatian run a mile. She is also gifted in the bicep department and I am sure you could bounce a coin off her tummy.

Libby Trickett married at the age of 22, making her entrance in a tent. This is because New Idea paid her $100,000 for her wedding pictures. Romantic.

Libby Trickett can be seen on our screens promoting KFC, something I am sure was not on her diet during her butterfly years. Or maybe she smokes a lot of pot now – which I believe is the only time one should eat KFC.

Libby Trickett is the current spokesperson for the Munch-a-bunch Grapes campaign, a decision I think she made to counter-act all the KFC she was eating.

Libby Trickett can tell you how to make exciting grape based snacks such as Grape Salsa, Grape Mini-Pavs and Grape Jelly Cups, all which look absolutely heinous. She also advises that grapes contain antioxidants like resveratol. Thank you Libby.

Libby Trickett should get out of her grape bath, hang up her food-flogging boots and do what all ex-swimmers do. Go get a gig with Channel 9 and appear on the Footy Show.

PS Do not even start me on Stephanie Rice.
PPS Why do Olympians have their photograph taken of them biting their medals? Are they hungry, or just insane.