Yes sir, Mr President. You Prick.

One of the extra curriculum activities that parents take on is that of the committee. Various establishments that your kid may join during his/her childhood will call on parent volunteers to help shape the direction of the school/daycare/playgoup and assist with fundraising.

So far I have dipped in and out of these and most have left a bad taste in my mouth.

My son’s school has a P&C President who, at the first and only meeting I went to, famously stood up on stage with a pile of papers outlining parents ideas for fundraising. He then “filed them in the bin.” Literally – there was a bin there and he chucked them out. This man is a real piece of work. He also looks like a super-dork and I feel sorry for his kids. There were also a lot of suited lawyer types who were one-upping each other a lot. I snuck out the back vowing not to return – yes they will rue the day they lost me and my ability to make chocolate crackles!

One of my best friends has been bullied, cyber-bullied this week in fact, by the President of her daughter’s P&C. In a wonderfully long drawn out email trail, the bully eventually received a cyber-smack across the face late last night.

Another bestie is the Vice-President of the Local Pre-School. I have absolutely no idea what it involves but each time I see her I dip my head “Ms Vice-President” then she gives me a Chinese burn.

I was an active member of our local daycare’s parents committee, which was great fun and involved dinners out and the occasional dancing session at the local pub. Sure we raised some money, but it was more about developing a sense of community. It is now run by a handful of A type supermums more interested in winning very important battles like what brand of toilet paper the children should use. Pass.

My son J attends the Shepherd Centre once a week and my faith has been restored in the notion of a committee – except we do not call it a committee. It is a parent group. We support one another through everything and in the 4 years we have been going, there has not been one political hiccup. We have had cake stalls, mini fetes and raffles to raise money. No big deals, no factions, just a lot of chicks with deaf kids sharing stories and drinking tea. When something needs to get done, it gets done. When the lawn gets too long, one of the dad’s goes in on a Sunday and mows it. No need to put out a tender then have a review committee formed and meet 45 times and send 89 emails and have endless arguments. The lawn just gets mowed.

In conclusion, I am forgoing all committees in the near future to focus my energy on my current role, CEO, treasurer, secretary and dogsbody of Woogworld, where the pay is crap and the annual leave non-existent.