Wise Words from Old Broads

This is the response to my call out for advice for young ladies after decideing my skin was never going to look as good as it did when I was 16. I also thought I was way to fat to wear a bikini back then – if I only knew what I know now, I would have lived in one.

Marry for money


See above


See above


Get yourself an education, otherwise you will ending up working at the Lithgow Tic Tac factory


Maybe He’s Just Not that Into You. Don’t Waste the Pretty on someone who is not worth it.


Get yourself an education (did I mention that?)


It is boring but a fact of life – you need insurance


If your gut says he is cheating, then he probably is….


Wear a good bra. Woobling boozies are only appropriate on National Geo Channel


Learn the bloody difference between their and there or I will shoot you


Your boyfriend might be around now, but your girlfriends are in for the long haul
A job is just a job. Your health and sanity are more important


Learn a foreign language so you can escape a bad relationship and live happily somewhere you can’t be found


What you said


You will never ever be this weight again


Travel. Travel. Travel.


Decisions about what you want to be are not finite. You can change your mind. It will be alright.


You will never be this weight again but you will always be this height. Enjoy that ratio while it lasts.
When you’re deciding about starting the career or working the crappy job to save money to go travelling, choose the latter. The career will always be there. The opportunity to travel will not.


If you start working in an area you thought you wanted a career and realise you made a very big mistake, it’s OK to admit it, take time out and decide on another path. No really. It is.


Don’t go out into the woods with some guy who says he knows what he’s doing…
If the choice is between honest and nice… go with honest (it’s the nice thing to do)


Do what you love.


Once you start shaving your legs, you’ll be doing it for the rest of your life.


It’s called underwear because it goes under your clothes – that bit peeking out doesn’t look sexy, it looks skanky.


That guy you just met at the pub counts as a stranger – remember what your mum said about getting into cars with strangers.



Thanks to Kim at Allconsuming, Kiwi Liz, Nik, A Tranquil Townhouse, Three Owls and the funniest broad of all Saw-Hole Tait. As well a you anonymous crew.