Saturdays with Saw Hole – except on Thursday

I blame the long weekend for totally throwing me out on my usual mundane routine. Double this with the fact that I am feeling particularly extra lazy today, Saturdays with Sawhole comes early.

I am enjoying reading dilemmas sent to [email protected] from all over the world, but this particular letter struck a chord with me, so I flicked it over to the Wise Saw Hole, who I knew would consider this conundrum with her usual empathy and come up with a sensitive solution.

Dear Saw Hole,

My kid has just started pre-school and has made friends with this other little girl. She is very nice but the problem is her mum.

Her mum calls me every day to see what we are up to. She has turned up to our house with a cake in the morning and stayed all day before. She has had us over for dinner once and now asks us every weekend to do something with them. They are very strange and kiss you hello and goodbye every time I see them. Which is a lot.

How can I break up with her without being too mean? Do I have to change pre-schools? I need her to get the message to back off.


Dear Lynne,

Looks like you have encountered the leech parent. Rubbing salt on your arm ain’t gunna get rid of this sucker. The problem with these types is they normally draw you in by doing something nice for you and then you feel a sense of obligation to spend time with them. In this case, yours facilitated a playdate.

As the mother of a three-year-old, I know how important these playdates are to both mother and child. Therefore, you felt misguided gratitude that your child had found a playmate their own age. And then you ignore your better judgement and spend your time convincing yourself that the parents are okay until the day of reckoning comes…. in your case, it was cake day.

What I would be most concerned is with her hanging around your house all day. I do this with Mrs Woog but she just ignores me and turfs me out at 4pm. By then I have raided her excellent collection of ballet flats, used her Internet connection and raided the pantry. So you can try ignoring and turfing, as it works for Mrs Woog.

You are in deep shit. My suggestion is to demonstrate to the mother some Amway products in the hope she will run or you could offer her a free Scientology personality test and see if that has any effect . Perhaps you could do what my Mum did when the Mormons were in Lithgow – she would tell us all to shut up, jam us into my bedroom and wait until the Mormons had left Mort Street.

As for breaking it off and being nice about it? Saw Hole does not do nice. You need to contact another Agony Aunt for nice, although an AVO on Tiffany notepaper might help send the right message.

Saw Hole. xx

PS Change your phone number or screen, screen, screen your calls.