Whining about Wine

I have not had any wine for a week in an attempt to shift some lard. I have not lost any weight, but have indeed gone a bit the other way. I am as cranky as all fuck and particularly snippy with Mr Woog, who has been hitting the red with alarming passion.
Surely a medical conundrum?
How do alcoholics stay slim?

Is there a diet supplementary program that you can replace dinner with a bottle of wine?

Wine is made from grapes, so should be exempt from the Weight Watchers Point system right? One point a (pissy tiny) glass? My ass! (yes that is where it has ended up – no need to point out the obvious)

Am I experiencing some sort of withdrawal from alcohol, beginning with s full body bloat?

If I mix wine with Lotus Slimming Tea – will it have the same affect?

Why is this happening to me? Why it not Friday already?

According to our government (who NEVER get anything wrong), we can indulge in 2 drinks a day. This coming from K-Rudd, who has half a light beer and ups up getting a lap dance in New York.
So we are now putting our new glassware to good use. And I am sure this week had nothing to do with chicken/leek pie, lamb shanks and roast beef. No. Nothing.
Bottom’s Up.