Note to Saw Hole

Hi Saw Hole,

How is Stockton treating you? Are the chicko rolls really of better quality there? Are your neighbours still smoking Orchy Bongs on their front steps. You have done the community just a great service by moving there and lifting the tone. You are a giver Saw Hole, do not let anyone tell you any different.

Speaking of giving, your idea about a Saturdays with Saw Hole t-shirt has been met with great reception. Mr Woog has put in an order for an XXL so he can wear it riding his pushy to work. We have had a few issues with the design leaking out before it’s official launch tomorrow. Look what I was alerted to by the Alaskan PR reps this morning.

This is not the sort of publicity we need right now. She is saying it is a very handy apparel to wear when moose hunting. And that it also protects against teen pregnancy. I suppose we have to expect a few bumps in the road with this concept Saw Hole. Shame.

Saw Hole, you are Dr Phil to my Oprah.

I am delighted to offer you the position of International Merchandising Director for Woogsworld. I know it may clash a bit with your consultancy role with Bob Brown, and your Tupperware business is still finding it’s feet, but I think you have the balls to take the t-shirt to the next level. It is your natural flair with fashion combined with sassy spokes-model-like demeanour that made you a stand out, and an obvious choice.

The profits from the t-shirt will be funnelled into an off-shore account, earmarked for my breast reduction surgery. So you can sleep easy at night, knowing that it is going to a good cause.

Thanks again for all your work over the last few weeks. Now stop slacking off and go sort of some chicks issue with a toxic friend for tomorrow’s Saturdays with Sawhole. Have you chosen a winner for the t-shirt yet?

And send me a chicko roll with a chocolate moove for my lunch.

Mrs Woog
(of the Naremburn Woogs)