Holy Mother of SawHole.

This Saturday SawHole addresses the issue of same sex parenting.
Premier Anna Bligh’s surrogacy law has allowed two men to bring a baby boy into the world fully intending that this baby will never have a mother,” Dr David van Gend said.
That shameful act violates the child’s fundamental right to enter the world as all of us did – with at least the possibility of a mum and dad in our lives.”
Shameful act? Them is fighting words David.
David, meet Sawhole.

The first same-sex couple to have a child under the new surrogacy laws – Bentley and Matt Harris with Connor, 6 months – have met with joyous acceptance and loud condemnation. – Courier Mail

In a secret location, far, far away lies the Baby Bootcamp Bunker. This facility, headed by Mrs Woog, is for certain people, ahem, who have no idea what to do with a baby.

I was admitted in 2006 in preparation for the birth of Miss Charisma. Mrs Woog handed over Jack and taught a panicky SawHole how to feed, bathe and dress him. Why? My only experience with a baby was when her then one-year-old niece fell off her bed while under her watch. So as a result of that, I was petrified that I was going to drop my baby, trip over my baby, scar my baby for life, forget to feed my baby, harm her in the process of taking a singlet/vest off and eventually leave her in a shopping trolley somewhere.

It is just not in my make-up to be maternal. I am not good with kids but I am excellent with dogs and people behind the counter at bottleshops.

Anyway the good news. I got a robust baby who has grown into a little girl who takes no garbage from me. Lucky really because if I had been given an insipid baby or a bigoted baby it might have gotten ugly. Why am I telling you this?

Some fool in Queensland is saying same sex marriage hurts kids and children are better off with straighty-one-eighties. Please click here.

This is crap. I have days where, as a straighty-one-eighty, I think Miss Charisma would be better off with:
Chief Justice Michael Kirby – for moral leadership.
Simon Huck from The Spin Crowd – for amusement and fun. Imagine how cheesed off Jonathan would be with a child in the office.
Colin and Justin from Three Celebs and a Baby – I cried when they had to give up their anamatronic baby.

I know plenty of cases where conventional marriage has hurt lots kids.

Debbie Reynolds and Eddie Fischer. Fischer leaves his wife for
Elizabeth Taylor. Carrie Fischer said this messed with her head for
years because the woman was… Elizabeth Taylor.

Bob Hawke and Hazel Hawke. Bob had his sausage in every pie in the
1970s and 1980s. He was never home to see his kids either, with one of
them sinking into drug addiction. I blame you for that, Bob.

The Sainted Princess Diana and Charles. Their break-up included talk about tampons, weird military horse riding chaps and a jaunt to Pakistan to suck up to that heart surgeon’s
family. While William and Harry are surely nice men, that tampon talk in relation to Camilla’s Map of Tassie would freak you out. I bet they are freebasing off their heads now on their Zoloft.

Don Draper and Give-Me-A-Bullet Betty Draper. Mad Men’s Sally Draper is indeed a very confused child and I predict she will stab her mother in the head one day.

Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards. I hope their kids are okay because their Dad is a loser and regularly threatens to kill either their Mum or their step Mum. But at least in your books he is straight, David van Gend!

So David van Gend, whoever the hell you are, I challenge you to a bitch off. For every name you can drop, I can drop 10 and you know I am right. David van Gend you are on my list for 10 years and no-one wants to be on that list.

Now behave. NOW.
Cheers Dears,

  • Mother Gay

    Very proud of you today SawHole, you are a wise, wise woman who is destined to raise a phenomenal child. I can’t wait to take Miss Cahrisma for her first podium dance.

    SO much talk this week about gay politics – be it the adoption/surrogacy laws or gay marriage. I feel incredibly strongly about both. The very nature of the debate infers there is something terribly different about being gay. This is not true. The debate should be focused on the human element, human just like straight people with same desires and instincts.

    SawHole I think your point here should be central to the whole debate, humans become parents – good or bad, gay or straight, catholic or atheist, rich or poor. The nuclear family has changed dramatically in the last 25 years, and our friend at the Courier Mail has seemd to not notice. That woeful in a journalist.

    Just one other quick thing… one of the issues with gay parents that is constantly referred to is “having two dads means they’ll be teased at school”. Please consider how society has changed so much in the last few decades, do you really think the next generation will have the same prejudices as Gen X and Baby Boomers? No Way. And if tehre is one good thing to say about Y is that to them being gay is now big deal. For gods sake they grew up watching Will & Grace!

    Off my soapbox now, I have a Gay Marriage rally to make signs for.

    Mother Gay

  • Straight or gay, we’re all equal. If I can get married and have a baby, why can’t gays and lesbians?

    I can’t believe this is still an issue that divides us in 2010. Fuck me!

    A child’s fundamental right is to be loved and nurtured, raised in a happy and safe home. Why aren’t people like Dr David van Goober advocating for the poor little souls out there who are being denied these basics?

    You’re either a loving parent/spouse or you’re not. Whether you prefer peen or poon has absolutely nothing to do with it …

  • Anonymous

    I agree with Dr van Gend. I do not think we are as tollerant as you all think.

  • Well put SawHole! GOD FORBID a child be loved by two people. Not sure why sexual persuasion is even an issue. That is sad in this day and age.

  • Why didn’t my comment show my name?
    Hmm. Probably my fault. I just didn’t want to listed as anonymous. I love this post Kudos to SawHole!

    -Katie (No Missed Opportunities)

  • exactly.

  • Mother Gay

    I’m Back!


    Have you read this aboslutely vile tirade from Christopher Pearson in the Australian? I could literally feel the vomit rising in my throught.

    For starters, the opening line…

    “THE most obvious thing about arguments for same-sex marriage is their shallowness.”

    So what he is saying is the my six year realtionship is SHALLOW!!

    Fucking idiot.


    So angry I need to go… for fear of offending.

    Mother Gay

  • Mother Gay – I do not read The Australian for the following reasons:
    1. Most importantly, it is boring
    2. It is a showcase for the centre right
    3. It is also a very ugly newspaper.
    4. It is out of touch. Its editor said recently social media was a passing fad and was not a long-term threat to newspapers. Denial
    5. It is Murdoch’s mouthpiece.
    Mother Gay – fear not. The Australian will be gone when Murdoch falls off his perch.

  • This comment has been removed by the author.

  • Sawhole, I love you more by the day. This is an awesome post. A person’s gender does not determine how good a parent they are. Just ask my kids.

  • I love you SawHole.

  • Oh this shits me to tears! No child gives a damn wether their parents are staright, gay, bi or robotic – they just need to be loved, fed, etc, etc.

    I just spent two days looking for a friends child who had been taken by his straight father and then was ‘dumped’ back when dad couldn’t handle him anymore. So much for straight parents!

    I am amazed that issues like this are still dominating in 2010 – I hope 2011 see’s gay people having the same rights as straight people.

  • * that was straight* Luckily my daughter doesn’t care that I can’t spell!

  • juststopspeaking

    Sawhole ROCKS

    That Is All

  • You’re so right Sawhole! Being straight does not automatically mean you’re going to be a great parent. Just as being gay does not imply you won’t be. It’s sad indeed.

  • Hi Anon,

    Try to be more tolerant if you can. Even better, change your thinking. You CAN change your thinking of you do some research and get educated on the issue. And then my Anonymous friend you can be free!

    Love Mrs Woog

  • Britney Spears can have a 55 hour marriage, Elizabeth Taylor can be divorced 300 times and yet it’s gays that are going to ruin the sanctity of marriage? Pffft!

    I honestly have no idea why ppl like the lovely Dr David care what other people do – how does it hurt him? How does it even involve him?

    Live and let live.

  • One of my dearest friends is one half of a very devoted same sex couple. They have an adorable 2.5 year old and are making plans for another. This year she wrote an opinion piece on the surrogacy laws and it is beautiful, compelling reading from “the other side of the fence”.

    Have a look at what it takes for a same-sex couple to be parents and with how much love and commitment they make such a decision:


  • Yet another reason I eschew religion. Through the ages, various religions have legitimised all forms of marginalisation and promulgated dogma that are nothing short the brain-washing narrow-mindedness of the worst cults. Were it not for religion, much of the argument underpinning same sex unions and all the rights (or lack there of) that go with them would not exist. thanks for making us think a little more, Sawhole. You have reinforced my own views!

  • Watershedd?? Are you really Mr Woog?

  • Ha-ha! No, not Mr. Woog. Just a simple nomad who’s stopped in Sydney for long enough to meet my advocate lover and find a little space to call home for us both in it’s oldest precinct.

  • Well we can’t have 2 loving parents who really wanted a baby can we? Not when they *gasp* love each other!!

    This makes my blood boil. Love is love. There are different kinds. Accept it.

    And I don’t understand the arguments against gay marriage, even when I’m feeling my most understanding. It’s 2010, people!!

  • Anonymous

    Hate me people but sorry religion is the key to this hate! I see it all around me! Children are what their parents teach them!!! All children want is love and I am taught this every day by my own….. Love you a&j xoxo love a parent!

  • Totally agree with you… I posted this on my facebook page last week, actually. How can he judge if gay couples will make good parents? What about the drugged up feral fuckwits who have kids? What about the couples who have a child just so they have one? Those who work long hours and hardly see their kids and then dump them onto the grandparents on the weekend because ‘they need a break’ (eherm… my neighbours daughter)… I could go on…so what would be so wrong about kids having two parents who love them and look after them? I dont think sexuality has anything to do with parenting.

  • My parents are both on their 3rd marriages. I’m pretty sure my mother has another 1 or 2 marriages left in her before she retires. Thankfully, my father has met his life partner this time!

    If I’ve managed to not be too screwed up with their (sometimes reckless) behaviour, I’m pretty sure a child growing up with 2 parents that love and adore each other will manage just fine, even if their parents are the same sex.

    I will be a very proud Australian when our politicians pull their heads out of their you-know-whats and stop the discrimination against same sex couples.

  • Wow, that’s straight talkin’… well, maybe not so straight. How did that wanker ever get to be a Dr?


  • Bec

    Hell yeah lady, you tell ’em!
    Sigh. Isn’t it sad that such ignorance and bigoted nonsense exists in the world…I guess the Liberal/Tea parties need to find their members somewhere.
    If you must judge people, do it on their individual merits, not on the gender of the person who shares their bed. D’uh.
    We shall overcome, I am sure of it.

    PS thanks Veggie Mama X

  • Yesterday my eight year old daughter told me she was going to marry a girl and adopt a baby from China. Rock on, baby girl.

  • Thank you SawHole for everything you have said is true. The most important thing for any child is having a parent who loves them and puts them first. Having two is the icing on the cake. And it doesn’t matter if there is one mum, one dad, one of each, two of each; the deciding factor is they have parents who love them and put them first. The sex of the parent/s should not even be an issue.

  • Thank you so much SawHole. Here I was labouring under the misapprehension that our ability to parent was in direct connection to our genitals. Silly me!

    Once again I am staggered that the sexual orientation of anyone dictates their ability to love, marry, parent, hold a responsible job.

    Damn it why are they still breathing *rolls eyes*

  • Kel

    Oh, I love it when this happens – what’s the bet that DR van Gend thinks just because he has a DR in front of his name he can loudly voice stupid ideas and think that the public will just swallow it because someone ‘educated’ said it? Prescription formula, anyone??