Plague Group with Sawhole

Top of the morning to you on this dreary Saturday. Brighten it up with a bit of SawHole. I let her off her leash this week so she is freestyle writing, on a topic that can divide or unite.
The very amusing Twitterer and ABC Newcastle radio host, Carol Duncan, got me thinking recently. About other mothers. And how I avoid groups of mums like the plague.
I’d made me wonder why SawHole has never really ‘done’ playgroup? When I first moved to Newcastle from Sydney, I heeded Mrs Woog’s advice about joining a playgroup. So I rocked up to a particular playgroup (in a suburb which sounds like Norge Clown) and submitted myself and Miss Charisma for inspection. That’s when the pregnant 26-year-old, who told me she was having her third child, said they had a one-year waiting list at this playgroup. Seems it was harder to get than a Cabbage Tree Club membership at Palm Beach.
However, I was able to put my name down on the list (two years now, ladies) and have a complimentary play.
So I sat down with them all. I was the oldest and the fattest. And the only one with one child. I left after we had our complimentary play, pining for the playgroup that is run by cynical, gin-drinking mothers, who got accidentally pregnant after too many wines.
I decided to give it another go and made my way to the Shamatonne playgroup. Most of the Mums were older than I, so that was a good sign. No-one really spoke to me and their kids went nowhere near Miss Charisma. Even when they did speak to me, I was bored. Until. I overheard them discussing how terrible it was that people were going to the Kmart toy sale and spending ‘money they did not have’. So SawHole did not fit in with the doctor’s wives either.
I mentioned this to my friend Alowichus Brown and she agreed with me. She said she went in the opposition direction whenever she saw a group of mothers at the park. For some reason, we both feel threatened by a pack of breeders. Is it a throwback to high school bitchiness?
Regular Woogsworld readers may recall the piece I wrote about the mums at Miss Charisma’s school. They are not mean. It is just obvious I am not one of them. Two days ago, I remember being relieved when my boss called because it gave me an excuse to wait outside on the lawn while they made their way inside.
The one exception I have to this is the group I made over the internet at a parenting site with a group of Mums who were all due in July 2006. I have not met most of them in real life but we have shared our stories, later pregnancies, job dramas, partner dramas and opinions about life with each other. Unconditional support and no judgement. All supportive and very lovely, but don’t go into the website’s What do you think? section. The bitches will bite your head off!
So as I go about my business seeking my tribe, I have realised I already have my tribe. We might call each other slappers, drink too much wine and do too much online shopping, but they are my girls. They are the ones I knew before kids and partners. Having a baby has not changed us totally. We just have less sleep, more wrinkles and a lovely collection of pharameuticals.
So, did you love Mother’s group?
Cheers Dears