To; NSW Premier Kristina Keneally
From; Mrs Woog
Re; Junket
It has come to my attention that you have had a rough year in 2010. I cannot even imagine how many vials of Rescue Remedy you have sucked down in the back of the Parliamentary Vehicle as you scooted across the city, trying to convince all your cabinet members not to resign. Or how many hours you spent on your phone scalding them for watching porn at Parliament House.
But before your jig is up in March, may I suggest you come across to Bali for a few days for some rest and relaxation. I have devised a way that you can right the whole thing off as a junket. Do a traffic study. Or pay someone else to do one for you while you get a massage.
Collect all the data up and go back to Sydney to explain how we really should not bitch and moan about the state of Sydney Traffic and compare it to the diabolical situation in Bali. You can also defend your sale of the NSW Power assets. We can probably learn to live with 4 hour blackouts, like the Balinese do.
And when you are gracefully ejected from power in March, you can have fond memories that during your 15 months in Office, you got a really lovely holiday out of it. And we the people of NSW footed the bill. Score!
Please ignore this memo if by chance you have been ousted in the past week and replace by Carmel Tebbutt, as I know these kind of things can occur in Australian politics without a moments notice.
Also, do not be too afraid of Jillian Skinner. I made her cry recently when I gave a speech at the Shepherd Centre Graduation. Really cry. Like buckets. And I always suspected that behind those beady eyes and under that helmet hair, she is a tub up marshmallow wrapped up in a pussy cat.
With warmest regards,
Mrs Woog
PS No you cannot stay with us. The Woog Inn is full.