Mummy Manners

One of the many things you are not told about when you have a baby, it the motherhood political mind field you are thrown into. This is a vast, mysterious and sometimes wine-inducing world which one has to navigate on ones own.

I recall a week after Harry’s birth. I went back to the hospital where he was born to collect some paperwork. As I entered the Maternity Ward, I saw a brand new mum, with her brand new baby and her shiny shiny rested partner about to leave the hospital for the first time. Given that I had not slept for a week, I totally thought it was my god-given right to go and tell them;

“Do not leave here seriously you are going to die I have not slept or washed for days and Mr, if you think you are going to back to work in the next 6 months then you are kidding Mr Woog went back to work today and he is a total assssshhhooooleleeeeee sob sob sob.”

The young couple clung to their baby and slowly backed away from me, being careful not to make any quick and sudden movements, lest I continue my diatribe of finger pointing drivel while my boobs leaked milk and my pits stank.

This is an example of extremely bad manners. Early onset extremely bad Mummy Manners.

Libby Gorr has released a book called The A – Z of Mummy Manners which is in bookstores from today. This nifty paperback is your guide to addressing very common issues that arise in managing other children’s Mothers.

Issues such as:

How best to manage other mummies? Who has right of way between a pensioner and a pram? Can you text to cancel a play date? How do you recognize a Queen Bee? What’s the etiquette of returning Tupperware? How do you deflect a Breastfeeding Nazi? When does Babysitting become Children Dumping? Is Mothering really an extreme competitive sport?

The only Mummy dilemma I have had that could not be answered in The A to Z of Mummy Manners stems from when I picked up my kids from the bus stop. I have been chatting to this nice Mum. Just small talk and stuff. Anyway, I said to her the other day….

I know I have met you before and I cannot remember where from. It is killing me!”

And nice Bus Stop Mum says “I gave you a pap smear last year.”

And indeed she did. So now I am faced with the dilemma of whether I should stay in my car at the bus stop or face the disorderly and dangerous pick up line at the school.

Harper Collins Publishers have given me 3 copies of The A – Z of Mummy Manners to give away to readers of WoogsWorld. To win, please leave a comment with the answer to this sentence.

The Worst Case of Bad Mummy Manners I have ever witnessed was……

Winners will be chosen by the publishers on Friday 8th April.

So think back and let the rudeness roll!