Free Hugs with SawHole and Joe

SawHole has been busy scouring the globe, developing a new line of merch to celebrate the fact that Uber Australian Blogger Joe Hildebrand has agreed to become an official WoogsWorld Ambassador for the month of May.

SawHole has a habit of developing little infatuations with people, such as Effram Strompsky, Anthony Albanese and Chuey Bravo. And she is cyber-crushing on Joe at the moment, with Joe looking on safely behind twitter. With the help of Emma’s Brain, she has come up with a range of products that she feels would appeal to WoogsWorld readers. Enjoy. Following my ill-fated attempt to install Joe Hildebrand as NSW Premier, it’s obvious things need to change around here.

So once again, my sad arse has been sent on a slow boat to China, to surprisingly China, to talk with our merchandising man Mr Lee (Cantonese for Woog).

Mr Lee and I were chatting about my problem and we have decided to develop a Joe Hildebrand cult of personality, which arises when an individual (ie SawHole) uses mass media, propaganda, or other methods, to create an idealised and heroic public image, often through unquestioning flattery and praise.

Our first step is now underway and we have recently asked Joe to become Woogsworld Patron. We are delighted he has agreed to take on this role. His activities will include attending the Blackheath Rhododendron festival, drinking Dr Jurd’s Jungle juice at the Wollombi tavern and opening A Night of Horror International Film Festival in Sydney.

He also gets free rides in the Woog Mazda.

And if he plays his cards right, he will be granted the following at the end of the financial year – he will given the title Lord Joe Hildebrand.

As I said before, a new range of Woogsworld range merchandise is also on its way in honour of our new patron.

1. The Joe Hildebrand Subprime Mortgage: For those times you can’t afford a kebab at 3am. After two years we then send a big bloke named Boof around to get our money.

2. Free Hugs trucker hat emblazoned with Joe’s likeness.

3. For the little mongrel in your life. Joe, feel free to pass on to tough, so tough Kevin Rudd.

4. Joe Hildebrand snow dome. It would be remiss of me not to include one.

5. Joe Hildebrand McMansion. Looks great in a heritage area.

6. Smug Joe Hildebrand parenting book in partnership with Jacinta Tynan.

So it is back on the slow boat from China with me, with just a blow up pillow, Cheezles and a copy of New Idea. I have been working very hard to ensure Joe’s cult of personality is a success.

Over and out.

Love SawHole

PS Thank you to everyone who read and commented on my piece about the diagnosis of bipolar disorder. I was expecting to be attacked by some sections but was instead embraced in a huge virtual hug. And don’t worry SawHole has a bee in her bonnet about this and I am going to pursue it. Be afraid health authorities.