No Post Today

No Post today.

Because I have to make lunches and take kids to camp. I often wonder while they call school holiday activities Camps, because there are no Drag Queens or tents in site when you sign them in.

Jack is at Dance Camp and Harry is continuing his tennis camping.

Then I have to come home and run a brush through my hair and dash across town with Edenland to a meeting with the brave, brave company who have agreed to sponsor us to go to BlogHer in San Diego later in the year. Topics of conversation will include limiting public swearing to 0%, how we will be on our best behaviour at all times and whether I should wear their corporate t-shirt during my karaoke presentations. And whether or not Eden should get a tramp stamp tattoo of the brand name on her butt.

Then as soon as our ass-kissing is done, (us, not them) I am going to have to sprint like a bitch back across the bridge to sneak into the back of the Dance Camp Hall and pretend I have been there the entire time while Jack participates in the concert, which is the culmination of 3 days of tuition by a 15 year old. I am expecting big things. Not.

Then I need to grab Jack and head over to Tennis Camp and watch Harry play in his game which is far more painful than watching Jack mince about on the stage. I also need to have a chat to Harry’s “coach” to explain why Harry has developed a pathological hatred of him. I will not take the drawing Harry did last night depicting Nick in a series of torture like situations.

I will also Google how to spot a future serial killer just in case.

I need to do this in a non North-Shore-Power-mum way so Nick does not go back to all the other coaches and bitch about Harry’s Pushy Mum and then we get blackballed from Tennis Camp forever. You know the mum’s I am talking about yeah?

By this stage, both kids will be totally off their face tired and the best thing to do then is to go and sit in the ENT’s office while he runs 2 hours late with his appointments, takes a 5 second look in Jack’s ears and call the all clear.

And when Mr Woog left for work earlier this morning, he asked what was for dinner. Are you fucking kidding me?

So there will be no post today.