Nothing gets my juices flowing like an email entitled Exclusive Event Invitation. And nothing irks me like children’s entertainment shows. So my smile turned south when I realised Jack had been invited to celebrate the release of Magical Tales Series 1 on DVD.

I despise children’s television. I mean what ever happened to Skippy? I have written about my general rage when it comes to that super-turd mouse Angelina Ballerina. It seems I am not the only one who shows contempt when it comes to bitchy dancing mice.

To be totally honest, I have never heard of Magical Tales before. And Mr Woog and Harry were due to go and have some manly time this weekend so I asked Jack if he would like to go to a Sparkle Cupcake party with a fairy. I had not finished the sentence before he screamed YES. He too had no idea what Magical Tales was either, but the trigger words were Sparkle, cupcake and fairy.

So this morning, the day dawned and Jack was up dressed and in my room waking me up at 6am asking me whether we were going to the Sparkle Cupcake Pink Glitter Fairy Party. I swatted him away and said “Not unless you go away…” 6am! For Christ’s sake…….

We jumped into a cab hours later and sat on the harbour bridge for 40 minutes. All the while I was answering questions like, Will they have fairy dust? Will the fairy be pretty? Did they fly there? until I started a well known game in our family called Quiet Shush. It is when you are rewarded for continual silence.

In the worlds longest taxi ride with the world’s most inquisitive person. Nightmare. And see that wand in his hand. He accidentally left it in the cab. Thank GOD! It made a repetitive noise that was going to see me fling it out the window.

We arrived at the Sparkle Cupcakery and Jack marched into the room full of strangers and make a bee-line to Sparkle the Fairy, who he had never heard of before. She was fully shiny and enthusiastic and Jack took his place next to her and basically did not leave her side for the rest of the party. He even loaned her his headband. I only hope she never finds about about his propensity to attract and successfully breed nits…………………

The kids were treated to a lunch platter which I hovered over and hoovered a bit of. Toasted cheese sandwiches, chocolate cookies, strawberries with a caramel dip, fairy bread and cupcakes washed down with Ribena. You would think I was full after that.

Jack and Sparkles the Fairy engaged in a long debate on how much glitter was too much glitter. The general consensus was you could never have too much……

Before the conversation moved onto Foreign Policy and Climate Change.

Then it was time for some crazy-ass dancing and singing.

Jack busted out his moves while I told other mum’s he was a classically trained dancer.

Sparkle the Fairy? Can’t touch this…..

While I checked Jack’s hair for parasites and wondered whether he would get his headband back. And just when I had had enough songs about best friends, magical places and smiling, Nature called.

I wandered upstairs leaving Jack under the watchful and responsible eye of MummyMayhem to have my own tinkle. It was then that I discovered the bakery.

No one was around and I had a bit of an Augustus Gloop moment. I mean there was chocolate EVERYWHERE and it was all I could do not to shove my face into each vat.

Tupperware Lady must have made a motza in commission doing these pantries! I heard someone coming up the stairs so had to put my chocolate fantasy on hold and just pretend I had gotten lost…..

By the time I got back to the party, the kids were up to their elbows in icing, decorating their own cupcakes.

And I knew we should be leaving when Jack started to show signs of being totally hocked up on sugar and having a sparkle overload. Here he is with Sparkle and her sidekick William, who did not get much of a look in I’m afraid.

Children’s entertainers are young, loud, sparkly, shiny and enthusiastic, so it is good to expose Jack to these types occasionally. He certainly enjoyed himself to the fullest and is a new devotee. As we left, he received the DVD set of Magical Places and if I shut every door from the TV room to my study, I cannot hear it.

Everyones a winner!