Heart of Gold

The use of an FM system in the classroom is recommended to improve Jack’s understanding of speech in noise.

Yesterday Jack chucked a sickie. It was a legit sickie, unlike the ones where he convinces me he is on death’s door only to bounce back with a bullet at about 10am. But yesterday he was not sick, but we had 3 hours of hearing tests in the middle of the day and I am being kind to myself so we called it. A day off school.

After our few hours of audio testing and discussion, it was decided that Jack would benefit from having an FM system to use in his classroom so he can hear his teacher, The Saintly Miss K, over the din that comes with 23 5 year olds competing for attention. Which can get quite loud. Particularly if one of the kids goes toilet in his pants. I can speak from experience here because once upon a time, I was a kindergarten teacher. Can you imagine???

The FM looks like a small mobile phone that the Saintly Miss K wears. It has a small microphone that beams her voice directly into Jack’s hearing aids. It is very effective and high-tech and she will be warned about having to turn it off when she is not teaching. Like when she goes to the loo, or has a bitch about one of the parents (which she never would do as she is saintly) I am already plotting some weekend fun with the FM system.

“Jack, go outside and get me the paper.”
“Jack, go and tell your dad he has put on weight.”

After hours of testing in a place that tests my own patience, I was so proud of Jack that I told him we could have a fun activity of his choosing. Normally kids would choose a trip to the toy shop or perhaps an ice-cream. But Jack, being a man of style and a sticker for grooming, suggested we pop out for a manicure. And I agreed. So like most mother and son, we selected our colours, got polished then sat under the dryer and discussed world peace. And our favourite lollies.

(She wears OPI Chicago Champagne Toast. He wears OPI Heart of Gold)