Parenting 101 – Substitution

Parenting a couple of school aged kids is a tough gig. Don’t roll your eyes! I find it tough. So much to do, remember, achieve, sign, De-nit, tick off etc. At the moment, the Woogettes are caught up in the latest initiative, which is Jump Rope For Heart. You get sponsors to give you money to jump over a rope. Jack practices around the house during every spare second that he gets, sans rope. And he is really good at imagination double dutch.

One thing that is a constant weekly drama is news.

News is when you stand up in front of your class mates, formally introduce yourself and spend 2/3 minutes bragging about something cool you did or showing off something cool you have aquired recently. Hopefully, if all goes well, you will become instantly popular for the remainder of the day. It is not just a time waster while the teacher waits for her Berocca to kick in. It is actually a part of the English Curriculum.

My kids are like chalk and cheese. One is a slovenly, devil-may-care charmer while the other is a total rule Nazi. But both are as disorganised as their mama.

Harry is your type of kid that remembers that it is his news day when you pull up to school. Subsequently he has shared such items as the Sydway guide, parking tickets and bits of renegade Lego that he has stuck together while walking into the classroom.

Jack is an over dramatic munchkin who likes to obey rules, be the best he can be, 123 eyes to me, type of kid that teachers love and other kids mock. And it was this little munchkin who said to me this morning that it was indeed his news day today and he had to bring a piece of aboriginal art in to share with the class.

A piece of aboriginal art to share with the class.

Aboriginal Art.

We did not have any aboriginal art. Jack said it could be a picture of aboriginal art. I asked Mr Woog if we were likely to have any books with pictures of aboriginal art in them. Mr Woog’s eyes lit up and he went and grabbed his copy of 30,000 Years Of Art – The Story of Human Creativity Across Time and Space. I shit you not, this book weighs the same as 7 house bricks. It is a massive book that Mr Woog bought a while ago. It is the sort of book that true wankers own to pretend to be culchered. It has no business being in our house.

It also had no Aboriginal Art.

Desperate times. Mr Woog left for work. I rifled though any other books that might have aboriginal art in it. Fuckety Fuck Fuck!

Then out of the corner of my eye, I spied the leopard print silk scarf that Mum bought me back from Lafayette in Paris. And I thought, Mrs Woog, you are a genius! Jack thought so to and happily went of to school with it wrapped jauntily around his neck.

Aboriginal Art. Safari Style.