Does this zit make my face look fat?

For my recent birthday,  my girlfriends banded together and bought me a facial.  Not a facial where you go in and listen to Enya while someone lightly massages your face and tells you about their holiday while you fall asleep. A Medi Facial.  Which is far less relaxing and far more effective. And extremely expensive so I am very grateful to my girls. xx

When I got there,  I had to fill in a four page form listing all my concerns and hopes and dreams. And other questions to consider,  such as “Is there anything in particular we can provide to ensure you have the ultimate experience today?”

My Facial Technician was Patrizia from Poland,  a serious young lady who has skin like silk.  She was as beautiful as she was humourless. As I lay on the bed,  she pulled a big magnifying mirror over my face and I heard her gasp very faintly.  She proceeded to tell me the faults with my skin,  while I agreed with her assessment whole heartedly. It was in a pretty dire state. 

She did a cleanse and commenced with EXTRACTION which I resented her for.  Why should she have all the fun!  Extraction is something I usually save for the rear view mirror of my car while I am in the line to pick up the kids from school.  And I learnt that when someone else squeezes your skin, it fucking hurts.

After I was face raped, this was on the menu for me.

Skin Peel
If ageing is a concern, exfoliation is essential! Peels improve the appearance & tone of the skin. Through the process of cell rejuvenation, old surface cells harden & lose moisture, these dead cells dull & dehydrate the skin’s surface causing congestion. Depending on the condition of your skin we can use varying peel strengths from 10-75%.

Read Acid Sizzle complete with extreme sizzle.

IPL Skin Rejuvenation Facial

Announcing: A Non-Invasive, No-downtime, Non abrasive, Skin Renewing Treatment called “Intense Pulsed Light”. Over 20,000 intense pulsed light treatments performed every day in Australia. There is now a safe, affordable and less drastic solution to plastic surgery…

I was one of the 20,000 people yesterday who had what I can only describe as a thousand careless tiny bees having a party on my face.

Oxygen Facial

An Intraceuticals Rejuvenate Infusion® is a non invasive treatment that targets fine lines, wrinkles and dramatically enhances overall hydration. Also known as the Madonna facial, this is a must have treatment before any special event.

My special event was taking Jack to an ENT appointment and today I am going to Coles. Suck on that Madonna.

This morning my skin feels great. Smooth and springy.  But there is one problem. A large volcanic like zit has emerged high on my cheekbone. Near my left eye.  Mr Woog rolled over in bed and gasped. If I shut my right eye and squint down I can actually see it.  It is like my skins way of telling me “I WIN!” I kind of feel like dropping back into Patricia for her to tut-tut and attack it.

But in the meantime,  I will resist touching it.  I might have to purchase a straight jacket in order to successfully ignore it.  And I keep thinking back to this post and how that item may have been useful for the upcoming days.

What is the most dramatic beauty treatment you have endured had?