Pre Labour Preening? Or Full Bush……..

Fox in Flats is a fabulous blog that gives mums achievable and relevant tips to help navigate motherhood in style.  I love reading it,  although I do not actually always practice what is preached.  A bit like how I enjoy reading Home Magazines and the Weight Watchers Points Book.  It is sometimes more for knowledge than for implementation. If you do not know about it,  totally worth a visit.

I stumbled across a post on Fox In Flats * that gave me reason to pause,  reflect  and come to the conclusion that I am a slovenly wench who totally failed at looking glam in the delivery suite.  A bit like any other day…..

There is a growing group of new mums it seems,  who are concerned about what their first few pictures of them and their new baby may turn out like.  I have no issue there at all,  each to their own I say!  But it did make me think back to my time in the Maternity Ward and the issue of birthing photography.

My sister and mothering trailblazer Mrs Ryan had easy (as easy as they can be I suppose) births.  This triumph was celebrated for a few months afterwards in a nifty little photo album that our Mum kept on her coffee table. Now Mum is no Annie Lebowitz,  but no one was thinking about the shade and lighting when they reached the money shots towards the end. That little album disappeared swiftly when I told Mrs Ryan of it’s existence.

Mrs Ryan was not looking fresh.  She did not follow some of the tips that readers of Fox in Flats shared. And neither did I.  But I will happily compare my own thoughts and experiences on these ideas for keeping yourself fresh when your dying on the inside.

“Have a manicure for all those close-ups of you holding the baby.”

I did not know this tip,  but would have made no difference as after 3 days in labour with Harry I had a c-section, hence the polish would have had to have been removed.  So I would have wasted $45 and a possible fungal infection.

“Get your hair cut and freshly coloured a week or so before you are due.”

My sciatica issue meant sitting for more than an hour making small talk with a hairdresser talking about her holiday and asking if I was scared of labour made this impossible.

“You may not be able to see past your belly button right now, but soon you will. And while a deflated belly ain’t pretty, at least your other bits can be!”

Talking about waxing.  Now the waxing for the doctor bit I just never have gotten.  I know so many people who have gone in for a full Brazilian before having a baby.  So I apologize to my obstetrician for coming face to fan with a full 70’s fur bikini. Except I do not.  Things were supposed to get WAY uglier down there……. And my belly still has not deflated 5 years later.

“If your husband or the nurse want to take a photo of you, and you are lying down – look over your shoulder and up at them. You don’t seem to see all those pregnancy chins…”

This is a mute point. My body my chins. Lying down,  I am more concerned about my boobs sliding under my armpits.

The tip I can actually relate to is the one from Fox in Flats herself……

“Stock up on black, high-waisted cotton granny knickers. Black, as there will be blood, and high-waisted in case you end up having a caesar. Hipsters will just end up sitting on your caesar scar, and your obstetrician will look at you like you’re a moron – like mine did.”


And in the interest of Too Much Information,  I give you a few shots of my OWN experience. After a few days in labour,  I was doped up ready for my c-section. I was literally flying around the ceiling,  yelling out things like “Seriously hun,  How hot is the anesthetist!” and “I am going to call this baby Womble!”

“Luke Skywalker, I am your father mother……….”

And about an hour later here I am,  with the all important first shot,  and all I can think is “What the fuck just happened? Who are you?”  And there was a double chin involved……

Clearly I had no interest in what I looked like.  I was coming down off a cocktail of magical drugs and dealing with the fact that I would not be going to Karaoke…… for a while. Which was fine as I had greasy hair , a hairy bush and unmanicured fingers.

What are your thoughts on pre-labour preening?

* referenced and linked with permission of Fox in Flats.