Is there no other store like it?

Yesterday I could not drop the kids off to school soon enough. Harry had ended up taking 3 days off last week and Jack had cottoned onto the “sore throat” theory and was making noises about having one.  I was thinking “Bloody hell…..” and envisaged another week of playing Naughty Nurse Woog.

But I looked out the backyard after breakfast and saw him jumping on the trampoline (nude) so off to school he went. (not nude).

I came home from dropping them off and surveyed my house.  It was a total rancid pigsty.  And I just could not face it anymore.  So I did what all failed domestic goddesses do.  I grabbed my bag and hit the city. I walked through Hyde Park before wandering across to David Jones.

David Jones is a department store famous for pervy bosses and a beautiful Spring Flower display.

Apart from the overpowering smell of imminent death and talcum powder, the displays were fairly amazing.  Who says these retailers are doing it tough…..

I went upstairs to have a sniff around the ladies wear department.  I found a few things that needed a new home and made my way to the counter.

And I stood there for a bit. And waited. And waited. And waited.

A dog barked at a tumbleweed as it went by.

The phone on the counter started to ring.  It rang out. It immediately started ringing again. So I picked it up.

“Hello?” I enquired

“Is Ruth* there yet?” came the voice from the other end.

“No. No one is here.” I told her

“Who are you?”

“I am a customer….”

More tumbleweed and some crickets chirping.

“I am sorry. Someone will be with you shortly.”

A few hours later,  a saleslady came to help me exchange cash for goods.  As she rang up the sale,  I asked her if the total included the 25% discount I was entitled to if I bought two items from the Bonds range. She looked at me with the expression of someone truly clueless before rushing off to see the sign for herself.

She came back and rang the items up again. The whole transaction was more painful than a tooth extraction with a pap smear chaser.

*I have changed Ruth’s name so she does not get fired. They need all the salespeople they can get. Even if they are too busy looking at the flowers on the Ground Floor to actually do any fucking work.