10 Tips for Slack-Ass Parenting

There is a lot of information around on how to hone in on perfecting your mothering skills which will result in a happy, well balanced and confident child. But I thought I would share some tips on how to embrace slack-assed parenting and how it can make your life easier and why your kids really do not care about home-made cupcakes.

  1. Do not make cupcakes. Go to Franklins and buy a dozen no frills cupcakes. Your kids do not care where they came from. It is cake.
  2. Apart from undies and socks,  you do not really need to wash everything every day. Unless you implement my next suggestion.
  3. When you are out and about and your kid does one of those massive sneezes (you know the ones that I am talking about) and you have no tissues, get the bottom of their t-shirt, turn it inside out and get them to blow into it. Alternatively, carry tissues. But that would involve forward thinking.
  4. Giving them McDonalds for dinner occasionally will not kill them. And it will make you more popular for a short time.
  5. Get them addicted to Junior Masterchef and use it as a bribe/threat. This works an absolute treat.
  6. When your kids room turns to total shit and starts to become a safely concern. Shut the door. Then threaten them that they cannot watch Junior Masterchef until it is cleaned.
  7. If they don’t eat their lunch at school, serve it up to them as dinner.
  8. If they do not eat their dinner at night, serve it up to them as breakfast.
  9. You MAY re-gift crap gifts your kids have received to other kids at birthday parties.  Just wrap them up in very plain paper and do not put a card on it then discreetly place it underneath other gifts on the gift table.
  10. Model thoughtfulness by turning down a ticket to the Final of Australia’s Next Top Model because it is your husbands birthday and watch it on TV instead saying “I should have been there but your father said to me You can go if you want to……It is up to you to work out your priorities ..” Which is passive aggressive speak for “If you go I will chuck a tantrum” .
What is your Slack Assed Parenting Tip?