The Curse of the Large Breasted Lady

Me? I just want them to vaguely be the same size. But SawHole wants to go one step further.

Some women would love to have my boobs. How do I know this? Because they tell me they would love to pump up their smaller cup size with some of my excessive 12Gs.

This happens when I mention I hate my big boobs. Ha bloody ha.

Yes, that is right. I am a bona fide freak of the boob world and I am only 165cm, so I look like an Oompa Loompa.

SawHole should be changed to SoreBack because that is what my hooters have done to my posture, neck and shoulders.

Are you sure you still want them?

I suppose you are going to tell me to lose weight, well I did – between 10 and 12kg and I went from a 14F to a 12G. SFA.

Makes me want to vandalise my Triumph Minimiser.

Well I would if I still had it – the Scary Hungarian Bra Lady Mrs Woog sent me to made me throw it in the bin. She persuaded me that the $100 plus wired contraption from England was the go but boy was it uncomfortable. It looked nice but it was a torture device.

At the moment, I am doing pilates and attending sessions with an exercise physiologist to fix my posture. My boobs are making me hunch over like an old Nanna and it is painful.

It is not a good look. These bastards rule my life.

Bring on the lipo, I say.

Over and out.


AKA Madam Bipolar
Twitter: @SawHole

Are you happy with your lady lumps?