My Crappy Fortune

On Saturday morning I woke up and my mouth felt like this.

And my head felt like this.

And, to be frank, our room smelt like this.

Two of my best mates, Penny and Kracker, have put up with me since childhood and we catch up a couple of times a year to eat, drink and be generally merry.  We always go to Lee’s Fortuna Court, arguably Sydney’s bestest Chinese Restaurant.  We text each other during the day reminding each other not to eat too much so we can fill up on delicious goodness in the way of Lamb Pancakes and Sang Tung chicken.

Now the problem with not eating much during the day is the rapid alcohol absorption that occurs.  We hooked into a few bottles of Cloudy Bay with much enthusiasm.  We keep a piece of paper and a pen on the table to jot down conversation points as we are forever talking over the top of each other and have to come back to particular stories that arise and prick our interest.

And by the time the fortune cookies arrive,  we are well and truly merry and weak with laughter.

We cracked open the fortune cookies and read them out. What an uninspiring lot we got.  Stuff like;

You will enjoy pleasures of life to the highest degree and will share them.
You will be happy by receipt of good news (no shit)
A budget is something we go without to stay within (no idea what that means)

So we called Stanley (the owner) over and said we were not really satisfied with our fortunes and could we try again.  He is a very obliging chap and came back with 3 more cookies. Please note by this stage we could barely focus.

Differences challenges assumptions
People who value their privileges above their principles will soon lose both.
There are times when sorrow seems to be the only truth.

Stanley came back and asked how we got on and we told him it was still fairly crap.  He shook his head at us, gave us all a Kit Kat and told us we should be happy with what we have got, before sending over a round of complimentary drinks.  Because quite clearly we still looked very thirsty.

What I actually needed was this cookie. (go on…. click it)

If you could write your own fortune cookie that was guaranteed to come true,  What would it say?