"What do you mean WE HAVE NO TICKETS" aka The Ballet Recital

Since when did ballet concerts get so fancy?

As a child I remember dance concerts being held at the local hot, dusty hall.  On the stage was a couple of rough looking kids running around and there would always be one crying and one with their finger embedded up her nose. “Choreography” was limited to random ass wiggling and spinning and it was all going down to the sound of a cassette player blaring from the stage.

Now it is not called a concert.  It is called a recital.  And where I live the Ballet Recital is big business indeed.

On the weekend my son Jack took part in a full production of Mary Poppins. It was the culmination of months and months of rehearsals,  emailed reminders, forking over cash and forking over a bit more cash. Jack’s ballet school is not really a school but it is called an “Academy” was chosen for him simply as it is located at the top of our street.

Getting a ticket to the Recital is as difficult as getting a ticket to a U2 concert and is made even more difficult when one simply forgets to buy them.  This happened to me. Mr Woog called me on Saturday when I was coming back from Melbourne to say his Mum could only get one ticket for the Saturday production (That is right…. it runs over 2 nights) and what night were our tickets for?


“What do you mean we don’t have tickets?” he asks in a less than friendly voice.

“Why do I have to do everything!” I yelled back before hanging up and quickly dialling the Ballet Academy and putting on an Academy Award winning performance of my own that saw me obtaining 3 tickets next to the lighting booth in row ZZ.

Of which I had to pay $40. Per ticket.

$120 to watch Jack come onto stage, tap his toe a bit, run across the stage doing a little leap and come down to the front and sit on the edge of the stage doing jazz hands for ten minutes while the next group ran onto stage, tap their toes for a bit etc etc and come down to sit on the edge of the stage doing jazz hands.

But to be honest,  the entire production was so professional it was silly.  How they ever manage to get a dozen three year olds to trot across the stage in a straight line I will never know. The teachers must be hocked up on xanax the entire time as they are all gorgeous and smiley. Either that or they are mentally counting the cash that they are making on the production after expenses are paid.

Either way, ballet is almost done for another year so we have a few months to save up for 2012.

Are you a ballet mum? 
What are your concerts like?