An Open Letter to Mercedes Benz

Dear Hans Tempel (CEO Mercedes Benz Australia)

I have been driving my shitty Mazda around all week listening to your latest promotion on the radio and basically swinging in between wetting my pants and dropping my jaw in horror.

Hans, I am not really sure what country you are from, but around these parts, a merkin is known as something entirely different and has nothing to do with cars. It also has no need for complimentary on roads and servicing unless you are in extreme weathered areas such as Cobar or Adelaide, where a rinse and a good airing every now and then may suffice.

If I was you, I could march your marketing and finance team into your office this instant for a thorough dressing down. The word is sacred and should not be used for cheap pun-like sales angles. Unless you are intending to produce cars like this.

And with that I will bid you adieu.

Full of fluffy love,

Mrs Woog