The Seven Basic Needs of a Wife

I am always surfing the net in the never-ending quest to read everything ever written. I click through from article to article and sometimes find myself reading the most insane crap ever. I came across an article recently that I cannot get out of my head. Because for me, at least, it is so far off the mark it is ridiculous.  The article was about marriage and basic needs. Here is it in bullet points.

Seven Basic Needs of a Husband

1.A man needs a wife who is loyal and supportive.

2.A man needs a wife who honors his leadership.

3.A man needs a wife who develops inward and outward beauty.

4.A man needs a wife who will make appeals, not demands.

5.A man needs a wife who understands his need for time alone with God.

6.A man needs a grateful wife.

7.A man needs a wife who will be praised by others.

Seven Basic Needs of a Wife

1.A wife needs a husband who demonstrates spiritual leadership.

2.A wife needs to know she is meeting her husband’s vital needs.

3.A wife needs a husband who cherishes her.

4.A wife needs a husband who protects her.

5.A wife needs to have intimate communication with her husband.

6.A wife needs a husband who honors her.

7.A wife needs a husband who invests in her life.

That just does not work for me.  So here I share with your the REAL Seven Basic Needs of THIS Wife.

I need you not to leave a dirty plate on the bench every morning after you have had your breakfast.
I need you not to take your stinking gym clothes to the laundry,  open the lid of the washing machine and noticing that it is finished its cycle so then shutting the lid and dropping the stinking gym clothes on the floor.
I need not to know why you need to take the toilet roll off the holder when you use it but I need you to replace it when you are done.
I need you to mind read.
I need you to stop using my wallet as an ATM machine.
I need you to understand I do not care about motorbikes and I am unlikely to ever care about motorbikes. Ditto surfing.
I need you to take the bins out, unpack the dishwasher and hang up wet towels with out me going all naggy-mamma on your ass.

Got anything to add?
What are YOUR basic needs?