5 Ways to Improve Your Waiting Room

ONE
Do not paint the walls dirty pale blue, pale mauve or pale snot green. Assume your patients are already feeling pretty bad and so you do not want to exacerbate this by providing them with an interior colour that is nauseating. And why are the vinyl chairs always sticky?

TWO
Assume that sometimes one’s practitioner is running 2 hours late. Ease anger and annoyance by providing a wide range of current reading literature. I do not want to read about Paul Hogan’s wedding to that blonde lady from Crocodile Dundee. I just don’t.

THREE
Even for a few seconds,  if you smile at your customer IT WILL NOT KILL YOU. Eye contact is encouraged and providing them with a pen to fill out a form is made all the more gracious if done without an eye roll/sigh combo.

FOUR
Empathise with your patient if the doctor is running late. It is a pain in the ass for all involved. Especially you as you will have to work late. Is that why you hate me?

FIVE
Finally, do not play talk back radio into the waiting room area. Especially do not have 2UE on when David Oldfield is sprouting his racist, right wing rubbish, It is bad enough that we are sitting in an airless room,  staring at lavender walls,  observing our kid and numerous other kids chucking tantrums, watching the clock tick the hours by, having no wifi reception and being glared at with contempt by you.

Turn the fucking radio off.

GUESS WHERE I HAVE BEEN TODAY?