I thought I loved you but now I know I don’t.

I remember when we first met.  It was in August on a sunny afternoon in Santa Monica. My travelling companion had underestimated the timing of getting her neck tattooed with a skull so I found myself a-wandering the pier and checking out the freak show.

I felt hungry and headed back to the commercial centre where I found a dumpling house and partook in a lonely but enjoyable Californian Riesling. Then I found you. You appealed to me immediately and on reflection,  I blame California,  with its glitz and over the topness. I partially blame the Kardashians as it was the end of the series and I had been overdosing.  What ever it was, I made you mine and schlepped you back to Sydney where I put you in a box.

And forgot about you.

Yesterday I found you again. I looked at you with fear and dread. What had I done?

I have a good friend who has taught me a bit about feature pieces versus basics and you,  my rejected friend, are too much of a feature piece.  You have features within features and I think it is just too much for me to bear.

You actually hurt my eyes.  What was IN that wine?
You have multiple strands of different stones and crystals interwoven.
You have coloured stones set in bronzed beading on gold leopard print.
And the whole thing is backed up in faux bronze croc with a kicky heel zip.
When I first met you I thought I loved you but now I am CERTAIN I don’t. I should have left you there in that shop for Jackie Collins to come and snap you up.  Or Snooki or Jocelyn Wildenstein. But I didn’t. I bought you home where you have sat in a box.
So that explains you, ugly shoes.
But it does not explain YOU,  you stupid seersucker white jacket that I bought when I must have been subliminally considering studying dentistry.
Do you have anything in your closet that you thought you loved but now you don’t?