The Condom Dress.

The people who work at the Apple Store in Chatswood really could teach the Federal Government a thing or two about efficiency. They were amazing,  right down the a sympathetic head tilt and tissues at the ready when they told me my iPad was fucked. One of my kids dropped it, resulting in a smashed screen that could not be fixed.

I was very sad.

I decided to try and cheer myself up with some window shopping. My dear friend The Divine Ms M had recently told me I had too many “feature pieces” in my wardrobe and that I needed to focus on the basics. I did not need another sequined t-shirt or leopard print anything.  The fact is,  to be honest,  I probably did not need anything, but I quite like shopping and March is a very big Birthday month in my family so, you know, I had to have a look ……… (and that is what we call justification)

The collection from the label Seed had me at “Hello,  look at all these pretty sequined tops!” Sigh. I flicked through the racks of pretty before I spied something that I think came under the heading of a good basic.

Ladies, I give you the Condom Dress.

I call it the Condom Dress because, like a condom,  you literally have to roll it over to get it on.  The area of my body between my armpits and my knees is pretty much a complete disaster but I put in on and thought LAYERING. Layering is totally my friend and I started to think about how I could wear the condom dress.

I called The Resident Blogging Stylist Nikki from Styling You and immediately issued her a challenge. How can I wear the condom dress without looking like two pigs fighting in a black spandex tube?

Click her for her suggestions.

The woman is a complete genius.

Now the best thing about the condom dress,  apart from sucking you in while still allowing full access to breathing, is the price. $50! BULLSHIT! No shit.  I went to buy 2 more,  one for my March Borned Mum and Sister Mrs Ryan,  but they had run out.  When I returned home I jumped online and ordered them from the Seed Website, which had free postage. Thank you!

Click here to check out the Condom Dress on the Seed website.

So that was my fashion fix for the month.  I can see it being on high rotation and like most condoms,  I just pray this one will not split.

Do you think you could pull off the Condom Dress?
How would you wear it?

PS this post was not sponsored in any way, shape or form.

  • Nicola

    I could SO pull off the condom dress – with a great big poncho over the top.  On to all things ipad tho’  I really feel your pain, if I could have mine surgically attached to me, I would!  But my dh (IT guru all round fix my life guy) says take it to an independent as that screen is SOO fixable.

    Loving hugs xxx

    • Mrs Woog

      Tis made for poncho wearers x

  • I could not. Unless I wore it as a hat.

  • I don’t think I could pull off the Condom Dress – and I mean that both in a “I would look crap” sense and a “OMG I’M FUCKING STUCK IN MY DRESS!” sense.

    • Mrs Woog

      Nah Glow,  You would ROCK this xx

  • Susan, Mum to Molly

    But Mrs Woog, surely that is your silhouette in the pic and no layering is required….

    (it said comments would get me everywhere)

    • Mrs Woog

      Oh totally!  I should have disclosed that….. *ahem* xx

  • Hespera’s Garden

     I would love to wear the condom dress, except that I need to wear leggings under skirts for the ultimate of issues – chaffing! ugh.

  • Kylieobrien

    ohhh I like it… wondering if I could pull off a condom dress? But what do I do with those two fighting pigs?? 

  • Bec

    Yep, I’m a sucker I’ve just bought one. I blame you Mrs. Woog. I am preggers and I reckon I’ve already mastered the layering, so this will be an awesome addition. I just hope the damn thing fits.

  • LouLouloves

    I reckon I could pull off this. Thing is, I’m 21 weeks preggers so it’s more likely going to look like a herniated condom.

  • desireempire

    How would I wear it?  Well I’d have to buy two and then they might do very nicely as leg warmers.  I could use the arm straps to go under my feet.  Remember that classic 60’s/born again 80’s look?? O so very Jackie O

  • Cindy

    I think that between you and Nikki you have caused Seed’s site to crash!!!!!

    • It looks that way Cindy! I’ve emailed Seed so that they’re aware of the situation!! The power of bloggers,heh?!

  • Hallelujah to the irony of the condom dress on an absurdly pregnant woman – kinda like closing the gate, right? Thinking my basketball might end up looking like a sausage before it explodes, and if the Seed website ever recovers, will see if I’m right.

  • We’ve successfully crashed the Seed site. Clearly everyone wants a condom dress!

    • Mrs Woog

      oops xx

  • Hahaha! 

  • Saw Hole

    The server has crashed!

  • Lisa

    Mrs Woog, I have that exact ‘Condom Dress’, I purchased it at the end of last summer & have worn it, covered of course since then! A fantastic basic & a fantastic price, you will wear it to death, I promise!
    Lisa F

    • Mrs Woog

      I am wearing it now…. so frickin comfy and I cannot wait to mix it up with other sad things in my wardrobe.  And at $50,  I will order another so I do not wear it out, if the website ever recovers xxx

  • I wanna see YOU in it:) 

    • Mrs Woog

      There is one floating around on the facebook page x 

  • Loving this so hard. Just bought my dress. Seed need to get their twitter account maintained – beautiful perfect exposure for them right here.


  • AmyQcoocachoo

    I would love to try this dress, but I fear the silhouette of the disaster areas too much 

    • Mrs Woog

      Seriously…. I am a lumpy lady and with the right layering…. well it works x

  • Absolute Amy

    This is perfect! I have a $50 Seed voucher…. going to spend it right now. Thinking of wearing mine with an open shirt and fun belt. 

    • Mrs Woog

      That is a fantastic couple of sentences xxx

  • Becthewordsmith

    Seed’s website back up, just bought mine, already have the Witchery cardi, am very excited.

    Mrs Woog, you do make life exciting.  

    • Mrs Woog

      Thanks Bec, you are welcome to come grumble at my kids and fold the clothes anytime xxx

  • Victoriashhh

     this is the dress I want to buy, I usually don’t layer even though I am pregnant but a nice open vest (be it faux fur, denim, or anything) would look nice or even a knitted jumper for this crazy sydney weather.

  • Mrs Woog, you with your rat cunning, I NEED me a condom dress, and so, I now have one coming to me. Oh your influence it kills my bank account.

  • Seana Smith

    I couldn’t pull off the condom dress. If it’s anything like other condoms I’ve used it’d come off by itself anyway. Yes, I didnt mean to be a mother!

    Trust new iPad is imminent???

  • smilechickie

    the good news is: the site is back up.
    the bad news is: i am $50 poorer… 🙂 x 

    • Mrs Woog

      Let me know how you go xx

      • smilechickie

        it’ll have to  be good, i just ate a whole packet of biscuits in anticipation of its “sucking in” abilities 🙂 x

  • Seana

    I so could NOT pull this condom dress off. But if it’s anything like the last condom I tried, it’d come off all by itself.  Oops… and so first son was born…. and never used a condom since.  Still in the huff and thus boycotting dress. Logical, not!

  • No way, shape or form. I feel unable to breath just looking at it! xx

    • Mrs Woog

      I am still in it – have worn it all day. STRETCH Lucy! Love it xx

  • Mummy Issues Part 2

    Purr-chased! Yippee! Photos please.

  • Jilly

    What’s it like to walk in, Mrs Woog? Does it catch your stride?

  • Bbeingcool

    Oh right – NOW I get it… Nikki is a genius. YOU are a genius for calling her!

    Very cool. Love love love that this went viral!

  • Louise D

    I could but would it be too long for a 5″ lady and make me look 4″ instead?  Oh what colour to choose???

    • Mrs Woog

      Nope – it will elongate you. Get it in black…. the most versitile x

  • I love these kind of layering peices. I’m a huge fan of Metalicus for that reason and Mrs Woog let me tell you the best benifit. It doesn’t matter if you put on or loose 10kg in this awesome stretchy stuff, it still fits great and looks great! So this is my “condom” dress with layering top, except mine is the short version as I’m 5’2″ and pear shaped so i find knee length is my maxi.

    • Mrs Woog

      FANTASTIC! and hey…. how comfy! xxx

  • I imagine if I wore that dress it would look less like a condom and more like a fish skeleton…

  • Mrs Woog

    It is a little Munroe-esque x

  • Donna @ Nappydaze

    I recall hearing the talk about this during the week but never got around to reading until now.  Looks like a great staple!  Off to read Nikki’s advice and see if a dwarf such as myself can pull it off or it you need to be over 5 foot to own it!

  • the melon

    four days late to the hype, i just marched in to seed on the scrounge for one and the girls mentioned that thanks to it being mentioned ‘on some blog’ (the cheek!) the dress is selling more online than they have capacity for at the moment so shops may have to send theirs back to the warehouse. so be quick! anyway thanks mrs woog from a newly becondomed shopper.

  • Mayor

    Nice work Nikki, every girl needs a condom dress

  • LISA Mckenzie

    Just bought my own ,condom dress because of you and Nikki ,can’t wait for it to arrive ,love that dress on everyone.

  • loulou

    Just wanted to let you know that my condom dress has been to france… and i rode a bike in it! I did! it was perfect on the flight over, it was perfect with a snazzy scarf and mimco flats in Paris.. it was bloody unreal when i wore it to the Fat Duck and ate 14 courses and was C.O.M.F.Y!!  it also washes a treat in a hotel sink.  Condom dress, what can’t you do? 

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