Genetically Non-Gifted

Today started like any other. I woke up a bit early and wandered into the cold kitchen to flick on the heating. Which really only ever stays on for a few minutes before Mr Woog flicks it off and tells me to go and put on a jumper.


Chuy the cat appeared and did his usual greeting, which consists of a few seconds of silence…..

Before screeching at me like a goddam banshee to be fed.

The boys woke up and started screeching at me like goddam banshees to be fed as well. I fixed them some breakfast and for some reason decided to weigh myself, which is something I only ever do if I want to slide into misery quickly. Which is about 3 times a year.


Accidental weight loss? SCORE! I was very surprised after my week of eating crap while on my mini-break and immediately thought I must be the victim of some very nasty disease, or tapeworm or something gross like that. Oh well, whatever it is it can stay until I reach my goal weight. 


Remind me to get a goal weight……..


It was later, when I was whipping up a batch of homemade hummus to go with the carrot sticks I had prepared earlier for the kids lunches on the computer ordering the kids lunches online, that  one of my sons came to me and informed me of an incident that occurred last week, which resulted in him getting a blue card.


A blue card is similar to a red card in sport. Not good news.


Turns out, he had used someones lunch box as a soccer ball, and had smashed it up good and proper, so much so it will never see another vegemite sandwich again. I had to go and see the Deputy Principal and my son had to write an apology.


When I asked him why he waited all week to tell me, he said that he did not want to ruin my holiday. Sweet!


I told him to go and start writing the apology and was internally quite put out that I would actually have to dress for the occasion and even put a bit of a face on……… blah.


He came back with his letter which simply read…..

“Sorry I broke your lunchbox!”



I told him that it was completely inappropriate and far to peppy to be considered a real apology, and to go and put a  bit more thought into it.


On the way to school we had a discussion about respecting other peoples things, being mindful of your actions and taking responsibility. All that shit that my parents tried to beat into me many moons ago.


The Deputy Principal and I discussed the “incident” and we had a little tete-ta-tete with said son about choosing your friends wisely etc.


Then I asked the question that needed to be asked.


“Was the lunchbox in question one of those fancy, schmancy, expensive, partitioned Tupperware numbers?” (RRP $26.99. I know this as I had a brain freeze once and purchased some). 


The Delightful Deputy assured me that is was an el-cheapo, which I concluded was the reason why it was so easily pulverised.


We wrapped up our quick meeting and went in search of the lunchboxless boy to give him the apology letter. I then saw my son hand the letter over to someone before going off to play handball. The somebody was not the victim, but the victim’s friend, who we shall now call the Courier.


I called my son over and had a chat again about being responsible and mindful and doing the right thing and that he perhaps should have given the victim the letter himself.


The bell rang. I walked back to the car thinking about peoples attitudes and habits. I mean, I have one son who has clearly inherited the fussing gene from his father. They are both natural born perfectionists, love a good rule and are obsessed with punctuality. And then there is my other son, who is always running late, losing things and breaking the rules. I have no idea where he gets these traits from. It is a complete mystery.


And with that thought swirling around in my head, I shrugged my shoulders, got to my car……


and listened to a message informing me that I was expected somewhere, right then and there. And the penny dropped.

What traits have your kids inherited from you?