How I intend to use Chook Lotto to determine the title of the book that may or may not get published.

Another mundane week has gone. A week where I laughed, cried, grew a pimple and named it and wrote a blog post about it and stubbed my toe on the front door quite badly. A week where I climbed and conquered Mount Washmore twice, requiring no oxygen tank.

A week pretty much like any other EXCEPT…..

I got an email from a big important publishing house asking me whether I would be interested in writing a book for them.

I know! I am more surprised than you, trust me.

We are currently going back and forth, throwing around ideas. So far I have come up with the following.

  • 52 Ways to Make a Cheese Sandwich.
  • The Little Book of Merkins
  • Decorating with Cross Stitch
  • You CAN use a Taser on your Partner!
  • A Beginners Guide to Mazda Maintenance
  • How to Look Busy without Even Trying 
  • How To Lose Money on Ebay
  • 99 Excuses to Getting out of Going on your kids school Excursion without guilt.
  • The Modern Mother’s Guide to Cleanskin Wines
Writing a book is hard, I think. I actually have written two very unsuccessful children’s books years and years ago. I suspect they are now part of a landfill project in the boondocks of China. Writing a book requires some sort of commitment and dedication, much harder than bashing out 600 words a day on a blog.

I know that I cannot write a novel. I tried once and it was a complete disaster. The main character was extremely unlikeable, despite the fact that I wanted her to be so lovely. She just came across as a whiney bitch and so I killed her off in the second chapter. And then there was nothing much left to write. Because I wrote her in the first person.

I think it is safe to say that I cannot write fiction.

It is also safe to say that this project might end up on the scrap heap of things I intend to do but never get around to finishing. Like the time that The Divine Ms M and me decided that we were 100% committed to doing a course in Theatre Sports and got as far as researching what Theatre Sports actually was before losing all interest in the notion.

So I need some ideas about what could go into the book that quite possibly might never see the light of day.

This is outsourcing in it’s purist form.  A potential author asking others to come up with an idea so I can go back and pitch something that might even be mildly sensible. 

All ideas will be carefully considered and the winner will be decided by Chook Lotto. I intend the use masking tape to grid up the court yard into numbered 50cm squares. Each square will contain one of your kind suggestions. I will then release the chicken, cheering it on to poop. Where the poop lands will determine the title and theme of the Woog Book.

So help me out? Please!
What should this non-existent book be about?