Pirates V. Tigers

The morning started like most Saturdays do, with a mad scramble to gather the sporting equipment needed so Harry could once again do his fierce thing on the rugby field. This time, we were playing Wahroonga Tigers, whose reputation as shin kickers had everyone nervous.

We could not find one sock. Mr Woog was in a complete state thinking he would have to drive around shops trying to locate the correct issue socks until I told him “Fuck it! Seriously? Who cares?” Harry was only too happy to play wearing a pair of his father’s business socks.

Maybe they might turn out to be lucky socks! Lucky in the sense that this game may herald the end of the Pirate’s impressive losing streak. We headed out into the suburbs, winding our way down the Pacific Highway to see if we could avoid making it zero from 6.

Woogs set themselves up to spectate en mass, with the Original Mrs Woog and Dr Woog present. And as always, so was Jazz Hands Jack.

The field was predictably sponsored by Ray While Turramurra and Artarmon Audi. The dog of choice in this neck of the woods was not immediately  clear, but if I had to guess I would say I saw more than one beagle.

The coach of our competing team wore a very, very puffy black puffer vest and spoke in a very fancy pants English accent. Their team looked very big. One kid was born to play rugby. I suspect he actually went to high school. He ran down the field with 3 little Pirates clinging onto him for dear life. They made not a squat of difference to his speed and velocity.

Ten minutes previously, we had scored a try or goal or point or whatever score keeping system is used in rugby union. And then moments later, we went over again. I was ecstatic! Could we possibly triumph over these teenagers?

I vocalised my excitement in the manner of an insane banshee.

Our star player Paddy was back from a few weeks absence and was working his magic doing little dodges and tricky steps until….


The swift boot of a Wahroonga player connected with his shin, visible only to myself and Paddy’s Dad. Down he went, like a sack of shit and was helped from the field wailing like a siren.

This kind of signalled the beginning of the end of the game for the Pirates.

Tune in next week where we have a home game advantage.

How did your team play today?
and if you are a parent of the under 9 Wahroonga team, you do not need to answer, because I already freakin know.