White and one, thanks Jules. Part One.

During the week, I got an email which basically put me on the floor in shock.

As soon as I recovered I called my Mum and read her the email. She did not skip a beat and said “Remind her that she went to uni with your uncle Donald.”


Ok, Mum. I’ll open with that shall I?


So this morning I am off to have morning tea with Julia Gillard. Mr Woog just left for work, not before dropping a kiss on the top of my head and saying “Please don’t say anything silly…”


Oh ye of little faith!


I am going to be too busy talking photos of her toilets and snooping through the fridge to do such things.


But I was in a bit of a pickle. I mean, the woman is the Prime Minister of Australia! And I am going to her house for a cuppa. I needed to take a hostess gift.


I immediately thought of The Condom Dress, that universally celebrated garment made famous by a couple of bloggers. But they were completely sold out everywhere. I got in touch with the Marketing lady at Seed, leaving a long rambling message asking whether they had one lying around the office.


They got back to me, saying that they were unable to provide me with the “Maxi Tube Dress” as they could not be seen favouring one political party over the other.


WHICH IS SO RIDICULOUS BECAUSE TONY ABBOTT WOULD LOOK COMPLETELY STUPID IN A CONDOM DRESS…… (even though he is a bit of a penis)


Ok, now I was really stuck.


The phone rang. It was my friend Uberkate. She and I chatted away about this and that when I told her I had been invited to meet the Prime Minister and I needed a hostess gift.


Uberkate is da bomb!



So I had the gift sorted. Now I just needed something to talk about with her. This is where I implemented the never-fails-to-amuse-kids-say-the-darnest-things tactic.


Once I had cleared up the whole Masterchef v. Poetry sabotage that went on during the week, I asked Jack’s teacher whether the kids had any questions that they would like to ask the Prime Minister. And indeed they did!

I may not ask your question darling Eliza…..

So now I am all ready to take a bit of Woog to the White House, I mean Kirribilli House.


Mustn’t say something stupid.


Come back this afternoon and I will let you know how this whole ridiculous situation plays out.