"Would you like to be sodomised by a carrot Ma’am?" and other awkward conversations.

Have you ever been in a conversation with is a low talker? You know, the type of folk who speak in barely a whisper?

This happens to me all the time. Just last week I was in a taxi, and the driver and I were chatting away. He was an extreme low talker, almost inaudible, coupled with the fact that the radio was on and his window was down.

So the conversation was incredibly hard to follow. He asked me a question. I asked him to repeat it. He asked again, or should I say his lips were moving but nothing was coming out. I asked him to please repeat again, and again he repeated what I thought was a question……

It was so awkward,  I ended up just laughing a nervous laugh and saying yes.

He looked at me very strangely. 

And I panicked,  thinking he had asked me whether I would like to be sodomised by a carrot, or something like that. So I pulled out my phone and made a fake phone call to myself, internally urging the Sydney traffic to move faster ……. please……

This is one situation where I could have used one of my “Go-to” lines. What am I talking about? Click here to find out…….