At the Car Wash.

On Friday afternoon, the Mazda was finally ready to be picked up from the mechanics. Mr Woog and I stood in Abraham’s dingy, dirty office as he got busy totalling up the account.

After what felt like an hour and a half, he handed Mr Woog a bit of paper. I watched as Mr Woog turned a lovely ashen shade before the conversation turned to the fact that all the spark plugs needed replacing and could we drop the car in again on Monday morning. I simply could not take it anymore and walked out, getting into the car and turning on the ignition.

It did not scream out like two cats rooting, so that was money well spent. Mr Woog joined me shortly thereafter and together we went to collect the Woogettes from school in silence.

At school, we looked at the money pit that we call the Mazda, and she was filthy. So we decided to take her to the drive though car wash, because yes, I felt like spending some more money on her.

$18 later, we were in the line to go through the car wash. We had a lovely, laughing conversation with Jack, reminding him that he used to be terrified of going through the car wash. He insisted it was because he was a baby. And he was totally cool with the whole thing now.

“yeah…… I am fine with this……”

“what the fuck was that……”

“seriously…. what is with that noise. Is someone shooting at us?”

No darling boy. No one is shooting at us. It just so happens that your parents are both idiots.

The unusual sounds we heard were in fact the roof racks being pulverised but the big washing thingies and subsequently being ricocheted around the carwash tomb of death. Mr Woog was having an apoplexy but there was nothing that could be done, as the cycle was only halfway through. TO calm the situation down a bit, I momentarily opened his window for a second, thinking the spray of water might snap him out of his panic, but all it did was add to the tension in the car.

Eventually the car wash cycle finished and we drove forward. Mr Woog alighted from the car and bravely went back into the Carwash Tomb of Death to collect all the bits of roof rack that had been tossed about. They were very clean bits of roof racks….


Mr Woog got very busy putting the roof racks back together, like a big lego project. Meanwhile, I took advantage of having some time up my sleeve and went and bought everyone a Paddle Pop. On the way back, Paddle Pops in hand, I noticed something else….

…..fuck…… But seriously, how clean is the Mazda!

 So by taking our car to the carwash, we now have to come up with another $300 to get the aerial fixed.

Because we are idiots. And we do not deserve nice things.