Do babies scare you?

I will never forget when we bought our new bundle of joy home for the first time. We had had a fairly horrific argument in the car park at the hospital (click here for the gory details) but had returned to normal by the time we arrived to our destination.

We settled Harry in his cot and made a cup of tea. After a few hours of reading the paper and chatting about how easy it all was and why do people complain about this parenting gig…….


Harry woke up and I attempted to throw boobs into his face, which reminded me of an unattended, high pressure hose. This went on for an hour or so. Then we both fumbled around with trying to bathe him, 30 minutes were spent trying to do the buttons up of his Bonds Onesie and a few minutes were spent calling each other names like “Imbecile…”

By this time, Harry was screaming blue murder. I was convinced he was really, really sick but my knowledge now tells me that he was so tired from being looked after by novices and needed to go to sleep. But of course, I did not know this so kept jiggly jigging him around, trying to throw more boobs in his face, changing nappy after nappy and having a little cry. Well a big cry….

It was 2am when he finally settled. Mr Woog and I lay in bed holding each other thinking…. “What the fuck have we done…”

I am telling you this as today I am going to spend the day with my sister-in-law and her new baby, who are coming home from hospital. She is afraid she is going to break the baby. She is a much more level headed person than myself, so it is quite ironic. But I am looking forward to hanging with a newbie.

They do not frighten me anymore.

If you had ONE piece of advice that I can pass onto my Sister In Law about not being afraid of a baby, please share!