Lucky Oranges

It has been a few weeks since I have written a match report about the Under 9 Pirates, and that is because there has been nothing really much to report on. Apart from our one and only glorious victory against Mosman, which I was not witness to.

Today’s match was different. To start, the Woogs were on Orange Duty which meant that I had to source both oranges and a container to transport said oranges. I did not know how many to buy, or the traditional and preferred technique to prepare them. I even checked out YouTube, where I found the strangest video of a stoner cutting oranges.……..

This morning dawned and bought with it a light drizzle, combined with arctic winds. I waited to hear front the team’s coach as to whether the game would actually be held. The news came through at 9am. Cut those oranges lady.

Choppity, chop chop. Sorted.

We were playing Lane Cove, or Lana Covay as I prefer to call it. Their team was most excellent and scored try after try in the first half.

And then came the held time break. I opened the container of oranges and waited for someone to comment on the knifemanship and care taken. But no one said anything. Just yet…..

Should have been a sushi chef…

The coach gave them all an uplifting pep talk as we surveyed the score. It was not pretty. It was freezing and so I had wrapped a scarf around my head to protect my ears, but I could still hear the coaches pleas to the team about a tackling, clearing out and about how they should try to avoid letting the Lana Covay’s number 11 anywhere NEAR the ball, because he was a distant relative of Unsain Bolt.


The whistle heralded the beginning of second half and something happened…………¬†

The team came together and SMASHED THE CRAP OUT OF LANA COVAY! We were everywhere! Particularly us parents on the sidelines who had never witnessed anything like it. The coach was almost weeping tears of joy. Over and over we went.. try after try. I have no idea about rules or anything, but suddenly I was an expert. And then it happened.

Harry scored HIS FIRST EVER TRY!

Sweet lordy Jesus, the way I carried on it was like he had won a freakin Gold Medal at the Olympics. I was jumping up and down with my arms out (had a good bra on) and Harry started to run towards me with HIS arms out, until he got about ten metres away and realised that he was about to lose all credibility, and gave me a little wave instead.

In the end, we still lost. But it felt like we had won. Harry was named MAN OF THE MATCH and you cannot wipe the smile off his face.

During the post match re-grouping, Bill the Coach asked me whether I had any bikie acquaintances. “No,” I replied.“Why do you ask?”

Turns out Bill suspected that I had spiked the oranges with¬†pseudo ephedrine, which of course I hadn’t. (simply because I had not thought of it until then…) But I do do lucky oranges and now I am on the lucky oranges duty for the rest of the season.
Man of the match people. Of the match!