Election.

On Saturday I got up super early and started to make sandwiches. Dozens and dozens of them. You see, I was on sandwich making and delivering duty with Aunty Lois as part of the TEAM MUM quest to get my Mum back into her local Council for another term.

And made them we did. Harry was on labelling duty and together the 3 of us drove for 4 and a half hours checking that all the volunteers were replenished and that everything was running according to the schedule.

We would pull up to one of the two dozen polling booths and identify our people, who were easily spotted by the provided uniform. You see, Mum and I both share the love of a well branded campaign. It just makes the whole thing a little classier. Harry and I would alight the car with our basket of sandwiches and cold drinks while Aunty Lois would punch the next destination into the iPhone Maps Ap.

Oh iPhone! Is there nothing you cannot do? We will ALL be working for you one day.

Our volunteers would make their selection, and Harry would run back to the car to announce which sandwich was leading in the popularity stakes. 

The semi rural district that Mum lives in left a lot of time for discussions in between deliveries. We discovered a tuna sandwich had escaped the esky after about 2 hours, when Aunty Lois announced….

“I just caught a whiff of Poisson….”

We had talked about a lot of things until we had exhausted most topics, when I asked my Aunty Lois whether the sandwich selection could actually be aligned with a particular political party.

BANG – Straight up she had them sorted.

Chicken and Avocado
The Liberal Party. A lump of expensive, bland and soppy slop, living in a white bread world.

Ham, Cheese and Tomato
The punters favourite, reserved for donkey voters.

Cheese and Gherkin
The Greens. Obviously.

Vegemite
The Australia First Party. On really old, stale bread.

Egg and Lettuce.
The ALP. Seems like a good idea until it falls apart and remains in disarray.

And finally, the romp it in home, hands down most popular sandwich in the entire selection. The one that disappeared down people’s cake holes quicker than you can say VOTE FOR GROUP A….

Tuna and Mayo (with some secret ingredients.)
A strong, bolshy, whip smart independent candidate. WHO ROMPED IN THE LOCAL COUNCIL ELECTION WITH RIDICULOUS EASE BECAUSE SHE IS A SUPERWOMAN. AND A BIT OF A FOX.

My Tuna and Mayo Mum. And to the woman who said she would not vote for mum because of what she was wearing, note to self. Tracksuit pants and brown thongs are for HOME WEAR ONLY. And turns out, she did not need your vote after all. Because she had almost everyone else’s.


What sandwich would YOU have selected?
What is your tip for a super samba?
And what on EARTH would you use to make the One Nation Party sandwich?