What is your trigger?

In this instance, I am using the term trigger as in “something that sets you off.” And even more specifically, something that sets you off when it comes to a war of words with your partner.

Mr Woog and I have several triggers that was see us spring from a relaxed state, to one of total tension which inevitably boils over to an all out word slinging match. Oh, don’t get me wrong. Usually we get on great! But when faced with certain situations, we fire up like nobodies business. These include, but are not exclusive to, the following.

  • Trying to find a car park in the city
  • When using the word IKEA
  • When visiting IKEA
  • When putting together a set of IKEA bunks
  • When shopping for clothes. For him.
  • When we are at an airport
  • When we are discussing finances
  • When we are trying to find our way to a place we have never been to before in the car. When we used to have a car.
Now, when we are faced with a “trigger” situation and the kids are around, like in the car, we tend to talk in harsh whispers out of the sides of our mouths. But when we are alone, it is open slather.

And if I am going to be totally honest, I am always the one to jump first. I have a wider range of rage than my beloved, who only hits the height of the Richter scale when pushed to the edge.

Like yesterday!

So now we can add to our trigger list – THE CAR DEALERSHIP.

We met at the local car dealership yesterday after lunch. We had found the car we were going to buy, so had a little pre-match meeting before we went in to do the deal. I am a haggler. I love it. Mr Woog knows I am good at it so he lets me take the lead.

We went for a test drive. Mr Woog and I were in the front and Bill the salesman, was in the back. Mr Woog was doing all of the things YOU DO NOT DO when you are buying a car. Commenting on all of the positive attributes of the vehicle, in front of Bill. I, on the other hand, was pointing out all of the flaws.

We got back to the dealership and asked Bill for a moment so we could have a private discussion. Mr Woog asked me if I really didn’t like the car. I told him of course I liked it! I was playing bad cop, planting seeds of doubts in Bill’s head. I wanted a significant discount on the already significantly discounted car.

We went in the office and sat down. I announced to Bill that I was unwilling to pay the ticket price. I watched him dick around on the  computer a bit, and with interest as Mr Woog started to fill out some paperwork. It seemed that no one was listening to me.

I announced that I was going to have to think about the whole deal and stood up. I was going to do the classic walk out, hoping that Bill would run down the street after me. Mr Woog reluctantly followed me out onto the main road, where the best and biggest fight occurred of this year so far. Oh the profanities flew back and forth, back and forth…… and then back.  And forth.

We* eventually decided that Mr Woog was acting like an idiot and indeed time was of the essence. Sheepishly we went back into the dealership and sat down at Bill’s desk. He looked at us, waiting for one of us to speak.

“We just had a massive fight…” Mr Woog said.

Crickets. Tumbleweeds. Somewhere in the distance, a baby cried.

“Well, I am sure it was not the first time that someone has yelled FUCKWIT outside the front of this place?” I asked…. gingerly.

Bill assured us that it happened all the time. I told him that if he threw in the roof racks, he had himself a deal. Hands were shaken.

Bill. A very understanding man.
Working in social media, of course the first thing I did was to tweet about our fight. And responses from fellow bloggers made me feel reassured that I was not alone in this triggering situation. Thank you Anna, Kerri and Bianca. Your words soothed me, more than you will ever know.

So, all’s well that ends well. I suppose. On the up side, I would like you to meet Sonia Kluger-Woog. We pick her up on Friday. She will be sporting roof racks and an engine that is fully functioning.

What are the triggers in YOUR relationship?

* Of course when I say we, I mean ME.